Put the Red Vines Down...

Aug 15, 2011

...and slowly step away!!!

Old habits die hard. Or... they creep back in when your not suspecting and before you know it, you are thinking,"What happened to my healthy choices?".

So frustrating. I'm up about 20 lbs from my maintained low. I was 145 for about 6 months. I was happy there. Then I was up to 155ish for a while, wasn't so upset about being there either. The 10 lbs actually felt ok. I thought maybe I'd like to get down to 150 or so, but wasn't too concerned. At 145 my tailbone was aching and when I put the 10 lbs on it wasn't anymore, so I guess that's why I felt comfortable there. Well now I am up to 165. Seriously. WTF. I am uncomfortable here. I am not happy with myself at all.

I think my eating habits and lack of exercise this past few months are finally catching up with me. My little life devastation caused a ripple affect. I did not deal with it in a healthy manner. I let the devastation and depression consume me. What sucks is it is not the type of issue that just resolves. It's constantly evolving and causing more little ripples in my life. But I need to stop grieving and letting it consume me. I need to start being posotive and looking out for me. I was on this path a few months back - reading my past entries I had the right idea, and then I just let it consume me again. I have let it wear me down. And I didn't even realize I was letting it. I just made excuses for myself. Too tired, too busy... well I am not "too" anything to not take care of myself.

I need to exercise. I need to eat right. For my own mental and physical health. I don't want to focus on the scale. I want to focus on how I feel. I want to feel better. I want to have more energy. I can do this. I am a mentally strong, beautiful, intelligent woman and I am worth my own time.

Please check in with me! Please help me be accountable. I am 3.5 years out and with each passing month it feels like a little of that WLS magic fades away. I want to keep it fresh.

Hope you all are well! xoxo

4 Comments