Bizarro Jess

May 25, 2011

I have decided to start doing the opposite of what I would normally do when I am going through a hard time. Normally I would keep everything bottled up, shut out the people in my life who care so I don't have to confront my feelings & turn to food.

There is another website that I journal on, however I notice even on that site, when I am down or going through a rough time, I don't journal. I tend to only journal when I am happy or there is something exciting on the horizon. This approach is obviously not working for me. So I've decided to start living as Bizarro Jess... like in my favorite show Sienfeld. I am going to be "Jess's exact opposite".

Taken from Wikipedia on the episode of Sienfeld - "The Bizarro Jerry":

The concept of a Bizarro universe is directly taken from the Superman universe, in addition to verbal references to Superman:

• Jerry: Yeah, like Bizarro Superman—Superman's exact opposite, who lives in the backwards Bizarro world. Up is down; down is up. He says "Hello" when he leaves, "Goodbye" when he arrives.
• Elaine: Shouldn't he say "bad bye"?
• Jerry: No, it's still goodbye.
• Elaine: Does he live underwater?
• Jerry: No.
• Elaine: Is he black?
• Jerry: Look, just forget the whole thing. All right?

LOL. A lot can be learned from Sienfeld. I really recommend watching it, however I do warn that it gets better as the seasons go on. The first season is not the best.

I noticed that the last couple blog posts on here have been theraputic for me. It is a release. With each post I feel like my heart gets a little lighter. So instead of avoiding my blog like the plague, I am going to make an effort to blog more and hopefully this helps me work through my feelings.

Instead of not reaching out to the ones I know love me the most, I am going to pick up the phone. I am going to lean on my friends, because that's what friends are for, right? I texted my BFF yesterday and scheduled a run at the river with her this weekend. Number one, it's exercise. Number two, she is THE BEST person to talk through my feelings with, so it will be like a therapy session and exercise all in one package! Which leads me to my third resolution...

Instead of feeling gloomy and letting the gloom consume me and using it as an excuse not to exercise I will take the gloom to the streets and start running again! I've scheduled three runs for this week and I will stick to them like dental appts. LOL - I mean who wants to pay that $45 cancellation fee?!

I am also going to start practicing mindful eating again. I have practiced mindful eating in the past and I know it works. If you are not familiar with mindful eating: Mindfulness is the deliberate process of being present in the moment, being attentive and maintaining a non-judgmental stance. It is a physical and emotional process that promotes balance, choice and acceptance. Mindful eating integrates these principles and applies them to eating and food. It incorporates learning to be aware of physical hunger and satiety cues as well as food likes and dislikes while withholding judgment of self, food and eating patterns.

I know I am still going to have my good days and bad. Something like this doesn't just go away... it's not something you just get over, however I have to find healthy ways to deal with it. I can't just let it continue to bring me down and consume me. It happened, it is devastating. BUT I need to be strong. I need to be positive. I can't continue to deal with this like I would have before WLS because the only place that got me was miserable and 291 lbs. I am not that girl anymore. I am older, I am wiser and I am putting my health first.

0 Comments