tiffjomo

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 I am almost three weeks post-op and have hit a stall. I am very grateful for my success so far. I was able to loose 24lb during my preoperative liquid diet. I began mentally dealing with the fact that food had been much more important to me than I had ever imagined. I had this mantality, that I just had a slow metabolism and my pcos/ hormones had been the issue. My addiction ro sweets and "treating myself" came from the fact my parents always rewarded us with food. I found myself making excuses as to why I deserved that yummy ice cream, cake, drink, fried..whatever. The past few weeks have really opened my eyes to how I view food and how being prepared with healthy options can be a time saver and a treat.

I have had days that absolutely nothing sounds great. I make my protein shake, and can't stand the smell/texture. I am forcing my vitamins down through out the day, as my pouch does not like to handle them all at the same time. I get my water in by eating ice. It allows me to pace myself, as before I was a water chugger.

I have to wake uo determined to have a good day, even if I am achy and tired. My outlook on my self image and caring for myself is shifting as well. I am a mother of four beautiful and healthy kiddos under the age of six. They deserve a healthy mother. I feel catch myself feeling guilty for taking the time to work on myself. I have to remind myself, that that is the reason my weight skyrocketed to 336. As shameful as that was, it will never be that high again. I am 284 at almost three weeks out, and realize that through diligence and work, I WILL reach my goal!

My husband and I journeyed the 8 hour round trip to my surgeon this past week. I was given the opportunity to meet with my surgeon and meet others that are on this amazing journey. Having our parents watch our children while we were out of town, gave me the ability to focus all of my energy on the surgery. I had gained 12 pounds since my last appointment in January. I was so disappointed to see the numbers climb. My surgery date is April 28th at 730am. I have started on my preoperative liquid diet. It is brutal. I have found that Swanson's tortilla soup is filling, which helps, but I am sure it will still get old fast. I am more determined to make this a success than I can express.

I am tired of letting myself down. Everyday activities carry this unnecessary stress due to my weight and self esteem. I concern myself with what others think, how my clothes fit, where I will sit so and be comfortable,...the list goes on. As I take these life changing steps to change my future- I plan to cross those things off my list.

Last December, I was all set to start my preop diet and get my surgery date...two days before my appointment, I found out we were being blessed with our fourth baby. I was emotional as I had always wanted a family of six, and on the other hand was ready to start my weightloss journey. Needless to say, I am very happy to share Hannah Grace arrived on July 27th @ 7lb 9oz. and beautiful. The months following her birth, I found myself eating more than I have ever eaten. I crave foods and tend to graze late at night. My commitment to change my life and start living is back in picture. I suffer from PCOS and have had weight issues since the age of 13. I go to see my surgeon next week. I have to resubmit my information and had to change my doctor due to my husband loosing his job this fall. I am determined and excited to start my journey. My sister in law had surgery on December 16th and is doing amazing! Excited to have a support system!