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Hi all,

I am creating a forum which will be focusing on addictions post WLS. This forum will discuss all facets of what we go through, including discovery of the problem, recovery from the problem, research papers and the most updated news regarding this now not-so-common issue.

This forum will not and cannot take the place of OH. OH will always be the leading forum for all things WLS. However, I do believe there is room for a more private forum to discuss some very painful and difficult issues.

If you are feeling some amount of shame (VERY common!) and you are feeling alone, please don't. Please send me a note and I will be most happy to give you a link to come be part of a community where you will not feel alone and you will get some much needed HOPE.

I always said this is a journey not to be taken alone and it stands true today.

You may also contact me at [email protected] if you prefer.

Much peace and hope. Because there is ALWAYS HOPE!

T

:)

 

 

Hello to all,

I have really been thinking about this subject, and it factors greatly into my life currently. The subject is about who you are now, since you have had weight loss surgery.

I have created a video to share my thoughts about this here.

I am coming to realize that I very much had my identity wrapped up in my size. Of course, this was not done on purpose, it's something that just happens over time I suppose. I was a "Big Girl" I was a "BBW", I was going to be the best big girl I could be!

I wore flashy clothes and was very animated. Because I did You Tube videos all the way through my weight loss, I have the ability to go back and actually SEE how I was projecting myself.

**For those interested, my original channel was Lacyanna, but I have moved to "LacyannaLivingNow". So-if you leave comments on the old channel. I won't be able to respond. Please feel free to link the original video and come to my new page to discuss if you happen to want to talk about an older video**

To be honest. I have not had the heart-until this past weekend to go back and start watching some of them. But when I did, I was not as bothered as I thought I would be. More, I was intrigued at the way I looked and spoke and the confidence which came across in some ways, and the insecurities in other ways.

Since I lost the weight, as I say in my video-I turned slightly "beige" in my style. I've sort of become lost on what I look like and how I fit in. This weekend was one of the first times I started to feel a bit...for lack of better words "sassy" again. (Are you laughing at my word? LOL!).

Did you go crazy after you lost the weight? Did you start chasing boys/girls? Did you go underground? (I did!). In what ways are you now different, but you never expected?

Feel free to watch the video, as I go more in depth about my own experience. I also ask others to please jump in with their own experiences, as I think it would be a massive help to me and others too!!

Many thanks and have a lovely rest of the day!

Peace,

T

Ah-but would I ever forget to update you? No, never!

I was planning on being of town on my surgiversary date-of November 28th. We actually left around November 30th. I now live in England, and much of my family now lives in Alaska-so off hubby and I went to spend an early Christmas in Alaska. Sadly, the Norovirus hit (baaad stomach flu!!). I ended up very, very sick and am just now ending my time off of work due to how badly the flu affected my tummy. If you are curious about this, drop me a note and I will share more. This had lots to do with how I am re-routed from the Gastric Bypass and how traumatic the heaving was to my body. Icky, I know!! Anyway-I am back to work this Friday!!

So! 6 years later and I am STILL making progress in my life. There are loads of things I have learned though. And so many of them that I feel a real pull to share my experiences with others who have had surgery. I have actually opened a new Video Blog at You Tube-because I am now very interested in talking about post op life. Although-feel FREE to come share about pre-surgery, NO surgery and whatever!

Come learn more about me and weight loss surgery here!  (Click!!)

I am currently at 180 lbs which gives me a weight loss of 200 plus lbs. So much as changed and so much has changed for those of you who had the surgery awhile back. The thing that is getting my attention these days, and where my focus is-has to do with the fact that we all had to focus so deeply on Pre-Surgical counseling, Pre-Surgical nutrition. Where is the POST surgical interest by the larger "Community" that means surgical, medical and psychological. We need to understand that post op is a critical time.

Hi all! 

Time to check back in. I had my surgery back in 2006 (FOREVER ago! LOL). My lowest "average" weight was 160-165. I had my bounce-back..something you will learn about if you spend anytime here! I have come to rest at 185 at the moment. 

I have been being really mean to myself about this and today I decided I would STOP that. I have "won". I will never be twiggy-but I sure as heck will bound up the stairs with energy and I surely will live longer!! YES-I WIN!!

I am coming to realize that my comfort zone may be somewhere in between the original and what I have today. However-being fixated on "hating" does me no good. I have my toolbox. It's the same toolbox I had back in 2006, except with more tools...pink screwdriver of protien, box of exercise nails, hammer of support-and the list goes on!

I continue to learn and re-learn how to take good care of this body and mind. It's a daily thing. There is never a time where I have stopped and said "Yeah-I know it all now..I can be 'done'". There is no "There" with this journey. Just one step, the next..the next..a bump, a moment of learning, a step-and so it goes.

I have been reading often here lately and enjoying seeing the new folks coming through. YOU can do this. It's not a trip to be taken alone-not ever. Support is key, so is education. NEVER settle on one opinion. The medical community is here to help us, but they are not God either. YOU must take responsiblity for researching and learning about how your body works-and never stop learning!

By the way-Happy Mother's Day!!

Always hope!
Peace, T

But hey! Why am I waiting a YEAR at a time?? Yeah-life does get busy. But the thing is...I still find it's healthier to come here and post. I notice when I don't-it means I am isolating. If you have read my blog-you will know I am the QUEEN of isolation.

So-I am still here. One foot and then the next. One try and another. One fall down and another get-back-up! I am STILL in at the same weight as last year-a bit less actually!

Thing is-I DO still have moments of "food insanity"-probably I will always have this issue. It's what I DO when I find the scale drifting magically up. (As if I didn't have a THING to do with a gain! LOL). Instead of throwing myself dramatically on the floor (which I would not try at this time in my life-I am liable to bust a hip!) and saying "WHYYYY-WHYYY is this happening to meeee"??!?!? I take a look and say "Hey! I KNOW!! YOU are eating too much and not moving enough. What say you get some ham and low fat cheese roll ups for lunch and get the hell over yourself? Deal?? YES Deal!"

It is the difference between win and fail. Trust me.

So-tell me how you are doing. Share what's working and what's not working for you!!

Peace,
T

Hi all,

 **Picture at bottom

Today is my 4 year surgiversary. I have lost and kept off well over 200 lbs. I put the collage below together with what these last four years have meant to me.

In the left hand quarter-you can see me with my son, Patrick. At that time I spent many nights in bed lying awake wondering if I would survive to see him grow up and marry. And toward the bottom right-you can see Patrick all grown up, with the lovely Alyson (who is carrying my precious granddaughter baby Bernadette). And yes-that is Elvis doing the honors! LOL! What can I say-my son and daughter-in-law will carry on the family history for being slightly twisted!

I went from having to have help getting off the couch and wondering if I would wake up the next morning-to running round the house like a mad-woman up and down the stairs, finding the love of my life, rejoining life entirely. What a gift.

Middle left-is me and my beautiful Mom. She was there the day of my surgery and I remember when I got home and my first shower. I was VERY dizzy and just wanted to feel the warm water. That is the lady that stripped down to shorts and her bra and got in the shower with me to hold me up. Just imagine if I would have fell on her! LOL! I was nearly 400 lbs!! She laughed and cried me through all of it.

The moments before surgery –she sat quietly with me.  We didn’t need many words. What I said to her was this “Mom, I know I am at risk for this surgery. If anything happens to me-promise you will not allow the family to focus on this surgery-but rather how MUCH I was willing to do to live so that I could be there for them. Tell Patrick how proud I am of him and how happy I was to get to be his Mom. And for you-you know how I feel, I love you and thanks. Promise not to let them get all dramatic, I hate that!” And finally-I looked at her and said “And Mom, if I do make it out of this-please make sure my gown is covering EVERYTHING and that my lip gloss is on!” What can I say? I have priorities.

Needless to say-I awoke in my room with my Mom looking at me-holding up a tube of chapstick and smiling. “Okay? Okay-you made it, now close your eyes and rest”. And I did.

So-since then (it seems like a million years ago!)-my son grew up and left home and fell in love. I fell in love too and left home! LOL! I left the country to be with my new hubby in Britain.

Two weeks ago-Ben and I flew out to Alaska to watch Patrick get married. It was the first time my Mom or any of my family saw me since the surgery. It was VERY lovely and wonderful. I will cherish each and every moment of it.

So-what to share? I will keep it simple-even though there will be times when you don’t feel that it is simple.

1.       Do not underestimate the importance doing something today-that you did not do yesterday. EVERY step matters. You matter

2.       Log your food. I am not going to elaborate-because YOU know!! Now do it.

3.       Weigh yourself EVERY week.

4.       Get your labs done for the LOVE of Pete.

5.       If something doesn’t feel right in your body-GO see your surgeon/doctor.

6.       Be your own advocate. Trust me on this-and many others on the board who say the same thing. You have GOT to be instrumental in learning about your surgery and your body. Keep up-to-date by reading the bariatric guides-etc.

7.       Doctors and surgeons are REALLY super smart-but they are NOT GOD!!!  Ask them-they will tell you. There will be times when YOU are right!

8.       Get and keep support. You are going to need it.

9.       Share with others what you have gone through-good and bad.

10.   Don’t forget what it was like that day they wheeled you into that operating room. You wanted to live more than anything. You were willing to lose your life for it. Honor that and follow the rules and listen to your body.

11.   Finally-GET living. There is SO much to experience. Have some life!

Ok-I think that is all I have for now. I will thank you all again-because this is the place where it all started for me. There are still many people here-who were there for me when I first started posting. I admire many, many of you-and I read here every day!
 

Don’t give up. Things can change and they can change very quickly. There is always hope. Always.

 

Peace,
T

Hi all,

I wanted to share a positive moment in my life-because I think it is important that the further out we get, we make sure to come back and share what is going on.

The folks that are further out than me-they do the same for me..and often give me hope when I need it. So-I shall continue to pay it forward.

I have well over 3 years out of surgery. In these years-I have learned how to eat again and how to move my body again. Some other things didn't come till much later. For me-things like trying a different type of outfit-I just couldn't do. I was really uncomfortable in showing my legs at all.

I was in the store the other day and saw lots of the girls wearing the long tunic/dresses with tights. I don't know what made me do it-but I tried one on. I thought to myself-will this COVER my knees?? I have SO many clothing rules-even I get tired of them. I didn't like my upper arms to show or wear anything clingy on them. And I certainly didn't like to have my upper knee/thighs show. I have LOTS of loose skin after losing so much weight.

Somehow-that didn't matter. I closed my eyes and tried to picture what the tights might look like. You know-tights with SUPPORT?! LOL!

Well-I got up to day and decided "Forget it! I am TOTALLY going to do this. What if I die tomorrow and NEVER wore a dress after my weight loss surgery"? 

So-although I do NOT love my thick little legs-I am going to respect them. They have carried me through quite a lot!

So-here is my victory--even this far out!

Do NOT give up -regardless of where you are. You will get them. Eyes on the prize-right?

There is always hope.
Peace,
T

I wanted to repost a post which was a reply to our fabulous Yvonne (www.bariatricgirl.com) and Yvonne's post was in reply to MM's post about Carnie Wilson gaining weight. Link is here: http://www.obesityhelp.com/forums/amos/4112314/How-Much-Did-Carnie-Wilson-Regain/


*************************My post to that thread below**************************************
Seriously-thanks for this excellent post. Yes-bad news is..it's up to us. The good news is..it's UP TO US! LOL!

Who else is driving this car-do you think? It's US! If we gain weight-the odds are we are taking in too many calories. Weight gain has NOTHING to do with surgery. You can gain weight with or without WLS. 

Yes-I do think it is starting to dawn on the collective WLS "US" that more needs to be done to educate and prepare us for life post WLS. We will get there in time. Until then-until the surgeons do everything perfectly and until someone tells us EVERYTHING that we should expect after-we are going to have to take the steering wheel and educate ourselves.

So lots of people gain weight after WLS? So? And??? Will you gain weight after WLS? I know who you can ask to find out for sure. YOU. Trust me. Look around to the people that ARE successful. They are NOT freaks of nature and polly pure-breads-they are DOING something right. YOU can be successful too. It's not an accident or a luck thing.

If you are newly out of surgery-that's GREAT news..because you have time to really LEARN how to educate yourself and OWN your WLS. To those of you who have gained some weight-look up some stories about others who have post WLS gain and LOSE it again. There are those folks out there too!

It's REALLY easy to notice the car wreck outside your window-but how often do you stop and look at all the other cars thinking "Dang..they are driving alright!" LOL!

You can call me a cheer-leader and a goody goody and a Pollyanna-but the thing is-I am doing alright! Yvonne is doing alright too! Why is that? Ask us. Ask others who are doing OK too. Trust me that you will find MANY different folks succeeding in many different ways. 

Let me steal this from Yvonne-pick someone you admire and ASK them how they got there and what it was like.

Your car. Your body. Your WLS. Your choice.

Peace,
T

It’s time to write again!

 

Here I am-still in England and it’s now been a WHOLE year! I cannot believe it. It’s so funny, how I see my surroundings now is not in the least as they seemed to me a year ago. It’s funny how “change your mind-change the world” is SO true!!

 

Since we have all just come out of the holiday season-I have been thinking LOTS about eating and regain issues. I see this is a common topic on the main board-which will also mean it’s a common topic for MOST WLS folks at some point in their post-op lives.

My weight has stabilized by now and I go up and down within the same 5-10 lb zone I have kept for most of my post op time. I notice that when my weight nears the higher end of my “zone” that I go through LOTS of emotional turmoil. I wanted to write about this and talk a bit about it-because I suspect I am NOT alone in these feelings!  LOL!

One morning as I got out of bed and stepped on the scale during my usual morning routine-I saw that higher range again. I had that HORRIBLE sinking, panic feeling hit me all at once. I know that feeling and it is one that always gets my attention. It was a feeling of hopeless powerlessness.

As I headed downstairs after getting dressed-I noticed myself sort of skipping down the stairs. It’s something I have just come to do over time-after losing so much weight. I sort of “bop” down the stairs..or skip. I know exactly why that is, too. I will tell you. Come closer..no..a little closer. I skip down the stairs BECAUSE I CAN!!! LOL!

So that skip got me to thinking. That is one of MY characteristics. It’s my “way” to skip down the stairs. The other thing I thought about-is that it was also my “way” to lose well over 200 lbs. Yes-I had the surgery-but we ALL know the surgery alone will not bring success.

So-I sat down at the table and thought a bit. I had really been letting myself because incredibly frightened of the range on the scale. And it came to me-that is ME on the scale!! Hello!? WHY would I be afraid of the numbers? It’s ME who is taking care of me right? It was the VERY same me that knocked off all of that previous weight. WHY am I scared of a normal bounce?

All of this started to come together for me. I was really acting like I was SOMEONE else. I was reacting to the numbers on the scale as if it was NOT going to be up to ME where they go-up or down-or maintained. Hmm-well that just isn’t sane or logical. Of course-that leads me to the other part of those of us who have lived as  “The Super Morbidly Obese” we have felt all kinds of crazy and out of control in our lives-haven’t we? However-it was this surgery that taught me that I DO Have it in me to handle this stuff! Yeah-it’s already IN THERE.

It’s not complicated. If I sit down and plan my food out-if I do NOT constantly exceed my caloric needs and IF I do my basic exercise..and IF I take care of my supplements-there is NOTHING to fear. Regardless of how the scale bounces around in a month’s time-I am going to be FINE. I am driving this car now. MY car..ME in the driver’s seat.

*Adjusts the mirror and applies some lip-gloss, puts on some cool shades, because I CAN* Yeah-everything is going to be just FINE!!

Hang in there-DO NOT FORGET how you got here.  Share when you can-talk to folks about what is going on. LOG your food and do what you need to do.

 

Thanks as always for all your kindness and support. This is NOT a trip I could have EVER taken alone. I would never suggest it!! We need each other.

 

Peace,

T (Beep! beep! LOL!)

Hi all!

Just wanted to pop in to wish you all a wonderful Holiday season-no matter what you do. It's a good thing to take a moment and just stop and look around. WOW! We have all come a long way-haven't we?!

Peace and Happiness to you all!
T