sonyamarie75

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I'm a little less than 5 months out now and finally have lost 80 pounds. I would like to lose another 60 but per my surgeon that my not be a realistic goal. We'll see how it goes. At a minimum I would like to lose at least another 30. 

Now that I'm farther out, it's a little easier. I don't get "the foamies" or get sick nearly as often. I know what makes me dump and what I can safely eat and am more generally comfortable in my own skin. I say generally because I recently bought a swimsuit. The one I had was a size 28 and too big for me to try to swim in. My new suit is a size 16. I was never fond of swimsuit shopping before surgery. I can honestly say, I still hate it. :) While my body is smaller, I have loose skin all over my abdomen and thighs. It will be a long time before I could ever afford plastics as I am still paying on my surgery and will be for a long time. The swimsuit covers all of the abdominal skin and my "skin apron" so you can't really see that, but the skin on my thighs really bothered me. I guess it's been a long time since I've seen myself below the waist in a full length mirror. I am very pleased that my health has improved with the weight loss. I still have some obstacles to overcome in regards to my body image. 

I was doing great with going to the gym. I even started Couch to 5k. I did a few classes at the Y- spinning and Yoga. Can we just be honest? Spinning? Holy hell!!! That hurts!!! The yoga was more my speed and something I'm more likely to stick with. I need to get back there and get back on the treadmill. I didn't really see my weight loss speed up when I was exercising but I did feel better and my energy level was through the roof. Who knew I could actually run a little? I fell off the wagon when I was down with the flu, but I need to start going again. I will probably have go back to week one but I committed to running a 5 k (actually running it all!) in May so I need to get moving. I'd like to try swimming too. I have a ton of excuses that I need to give up. 

My newest WLS treasure is a protein shake "cookbook" I purchased from the Bariatric Foodie Blog/website. I've never been really excited about protein shakes and since I didn't HAVE to drink them anymore, I didn't. This book tells you how to doctor them up to make them more palatable. I had a peanut butter cup one (HOT) that was to die for!! You couldn't taste the protein at all. It's nice to be back to the occasional shake again. I've always been careful about trying to get all of my protein in but there were days I would still be a little short. Especially now that they taste like treats. 

On November 20th, I will have officially hit the 3 month mark. To date I have lost almost 64 pounds. 

I've really struggled with a lot of emotions on this journey. Some of it is anxiety. Can I really make this work and keep it up for the rest of my life? Surgery has definitely made weight loss "easier" but it is my no means easy. I still have to make good choices- especially now that I can eat more. I still need to choose to get some exercise in. Even when I don't feel like it, which quite frankly is every day. Most days I do pretty well. Some days I don't. There were a couple of days I had a couple of smaller pieces of Halloween candy. I felt really disgusted with myself afterwards and guilty. I am learning that each day is a new day and a new opportunity to make better choices. For the most part, I don't crave sweets- so usually this is a nonissue. What I do love is popcorn. I found that I could eat a WHOLE bag of microwave popcorn without ever getting my "full" signal. I was horrified. Did I REALLY just eat the WHOLE bag? I checked the calories-- 420!!!!! What??? I put it my MFP log any ways. Its my way of staying accountable. I try very hard now to stay away from popcorn and the starchy, salty slider foods. My husband makes it often however, which is torture because the whole house smells like popcorn!

I also am still trying to find an exercise that I like. I probably exercise 4-5 days most weeks, usually walking on my lunch hour. I did do pilates one day this week. I'd like to find a strength training class at the YMCA as I have a membership there. I don't usually go because of time, but I need to figure something out for the winter. I can't see myself out walking in the snow. I thought maybe I could do a cardio video a couple of days at home, then maybe take one cardio class at the YMCA and a strength training class? I hate being gone in the evenings though. I feel so guilty! My little guy is in daycare until 6 pm as it is. I hate the idea of leaving to go work out right after I pick him up. We have a very small living room so is hard to do cardio videos when the rest of the family is home.  When I was doing pilates the other day, my little guy was down on the floor with me trying to do it too and we kept kicking each other. We also only have one TV. Up to this point, this has been by choice-- we want to spend time together so we all share one tv. I am thinking about picking up a cheapie and making an exercise area down in the basement. I don't have a treadmill or any equipment and its definitely not in the budget right now. I really need to work on the toning. My loose skin is starting to become apparent. 

I made a crustless sugar free pumpkin pie which was amazing. It's low carb. 

Its one 15 oz can of pumpkin

1 can evaporated skim milk (12 oz?)

3 egg whites

1 tsp vanilla

2/3 cup of splenda (the regular- not the splenda for baking)

1 Tablespoon pumpkin pie spice

1/4 tsp salt. 

Preheat oven to 400. Bake for 15 minutes, then reduce oven to 350 and bake another 30 min or until inserted knife comes out clean. Its about 50 calories of deliciousness per serving and serves 8. 

I love pumpkin recipes in the fall. 

I miss my Starbucks Pumpkin Spice lattes and they don't have them in sugar free. I bought a botttle of the SF Torani syrup in pumpkin pie and have been doing my own lattes. I put a little SF FF whip cream on top and sprinkle on some pumpkin pie spice. Its delicious!!

I just wanted to check in and update!

Things are going well, other than a little issue with nausea and vomiting that ended in dehydration and some IV fluids. I'm not sure if I had a virus or what?? Or maybe my tummy was just irritated? My dose of omeprazole was increased for a couple of weeks and I am feeling MUCH better! I really struggled with nausea and vomiting in the beginning. I'm so glad that part of the journey is behind me. 

To date I have lost 53 pounds. I have a lot more energy to do the things I want to do. I am still off of all diabetes medications. RIght now I am working on trying to bump up the exercise. I have been exercising but not necessarily formal exercise. So maybe I would take my little guy to the park and chase him around... Or leisurely walk through the mall. I need to bump it up a little bit but I'm not sure what form that is going to take. I've been walking on my lunch but I'd like to find something else, especially with cold weather coming. It would either have to be before work. I AM SO NOT A MORNING PERSON! I hit snooze 3 times before I can drag myself out of bed and would negotiate with the devil himself to get a few more minutes! Or, I could go later at night after dinner, about 8 pm. I am a little reluctant to do that because I am worried it will keep my awake. I am going to have to do something though. I've been looking into classes at the YMCA and there are a few later ones. I feel a little self conscious still in regards to my size and taking a class. If I could find something I really enjoy that would make it a lot easier to exercise. 

Eating is going ok. I still struggle to get in 75 G of protein a day. Today I got to 72. Protein shakes are still making me nauseous but I did try a new recipe tonight. I made a smoothie with light vanilla soy milk, a banana, 2 peach halves canned in juice, a light Greek yogurt (vanilla), and packet of the syntrax nectar fuzzy navel protein powder. I also threw in about 4 ice cubes. I blended it until the ice was crushed then I divided it into 3rds. Each serving had 15 G protein and about 160 cal. I guess that is a little high calorie wise, but I always have plenty of calories left at the end of the day and am low in protein. I have to get that protein up before I run into trouble. I don't know how people do it !!!! I can only get in about 2 ounces of protein at a time. 

There are a few things I still can't tolerate. Beef that isn't ground comes back up every time. I hope this passes. I love steak and am not much of a chicken eater! Eggs are iffy. I would say about half the time they go down ok, and half of the time I regret eating them. In terms of dumping, it doesn't happen often but fruit juices are the devil! I've had a bite here and there of sweet foods but I seem to have lost my taste for them so I haven't tested the water. In the beginning sweet tastes triggered nausea so I still have that diversion.  Little bits of pasta, rice, and potatoes go down ok. Bread makes my pouch hurt a little so I avoid it. I don't really miss the bread or the sweets which surprises me. I do miss the steak. 

Since I can only eat small amounts I've been trying to stick to foods that I really want. When I was craving Lebanese food I  went to a Lebanese deli and got a tablespoon full of couscous and some fatoosh. My whole meal was less than $2 and was delicious. Its kind of fun! I've been experimenting with different vegetables too. I cooked a stripetti squash and had it with a couple of turkey meatballs and some marinara. I've also become obsessed with cookbooks and cooking shows. I don't know what that's about but my husband seems to be enjoying it! 

The weight loss is slowing down but I am still averaging a few pounds a week. It's not quite as exciting as it was in the beginning but at least the scale is still moving downward :)

It's been a while since I updated. I was feeling a little (ok- ALOT) under the weather. 

Remember how I said I wasn't having any issues with nausea? I have it now. It comes on hard and strong at times. Up until yesterday I was still on liquids, so I never actually threw anything up, but I did dry heave over and over, which hurt!). I do have to say that it didn't last all day so I was able to get enough fluids in to stay hydrated enough not to have serious problems. I couldn't really tolerate protein shakes or anything other than clear liquids and cream of wheat.  I was also feeling really fatigued. It's a lot like being pregnant. On the worst days, I had secret thoughts of regret for having surgery in the first place. 

I had my post op appointmentt yesterday and was advanced to phase 3- soft foods. The dietician thought that might help with the nausea, and it has. Other than when I tried to get down my multivitamin I did great. Those first few bites of food were amazing. I had a couple of bites of tuna salad. It was the hickory smoked flavor you can buy in the packets. Who knew tuna could taste so good? Ha! I left the appointment feeling encouraged- that the nausea wouldn't last forever and excited to EAT! I am down about 42 lbs total-give or take a few pounds due to scale differences. Specifically, I've lost 16 pounds since surgery. I am no longer morbidly obese and I may get to come off of my blood pressure meds. Woohoooo! 

Tomorrow I am leaving for the weekend with my friends to go on a scrapbooking retreat at a Bed & Breakfast out of state. I am very excited and need to start working on planning my food. I got the menu in advance and there isn't much I can eat. I need to call the B& B to let them know I am bringing my own food but I am feeling anxious and guilty (??) about that for some reason. I'm not really sure why expect maybe that I just don't want to be a pain. I'm going to have to learn to be more assertive though. The worse case scenario is that the owner says no- that there isn't any fridge space, but then I just bring a cooler, right? My husband is amazing for letting me leave for the weekend and staying at home with the baby. 

I go back to work next week and plan to try to ramp up the exercise as well. I'm not sure how that is going to go. I've definitely gotten used to napping during the day. They tend to frown on that at work. :)

Tuesday, the day of surgery went smoothly. The care I got at Wood County Hospital was amazing and I would highly recommend it to friends and family. There were no issues with the surgery itself, although I did have a minor issue with urination post op. Apparently the nurses were unable to get a catheter in during the surgery so I had try to go on a bedpan right after surgery. I couldn't do it. Dr Lalor gave me permission to get up about 4 hours after surgery and try but I had some trouble. I was able to go but had some difficulty, so I had multiple trips up to the bathroom that first night. I'm convinced that was a really good thing!

In all honesty, it hurt more than I expected it to. I think I was comparing it to my prior c- sections! Not even close! The morphine PCA took the edge off though so it wasn't too bad. I didn't have much post op nausea and when I started with sips of water I did great. 

I am still having some trouble with spasms when I take a sip. Its nothing that hurts a great deal. I feels like a pressure, heart burn type of pain but it goes a way in a few seconds and its more uncomfortable than actual pain. The pain itself is subsiding. I still feel sore but I haven't had any pain meds in 24 hours. I seem to have tolerated everything I've tried to drink except a 4 oz protein shake. My belly really hurt after that. I was mildly lactose intolerant before surgery bout could tolerate small amounts of milk. Today I tried again with the Carb Master (lactose free) skim milk and was fine. I'm still on the liquids and everything is going well. I feel really blessed. I haven't had any nausea since since I've been home. 

Interestingly, my carb cravings and head hunger are back and in full force. I was never really a carb craver to begin with. I craved fatty, salty foods. I'm not sure what this is all about, but I suspect that this is my body's reaction to my blood sugars being lower. I a just ignoring it. I am pretty sure that Dr Lalor would be pissed if he had to go into retrieve a cookie chunk stuck in my new pouch and I am not willing to sabotage myself! Interestingly, I was able to come off off my diabetes meds after surgery and never even required a shot of insulin post op! Wooohooo!!!!! Next goal- blood pressure meds. 

I'm down about 8 lbs since surgery and about 33 lbs since I first started this journey. I only have about 2 pounds to lose until I am no longer morbidly obese! 

I'm still tired but am thinking of trying to take a short walk outside today-- maybe 10 - 15 minutes slowly to see how it goes? 

The one thing I seem to be struggling with is getting liquids in. It seems like I sip nonstop and as fast as I can tolerate it- but yesterday I only got in about 24 oz. I need to up my game here!!! So, thats my goal. Get my fluid intake up to 40 oz today if I can tolerate it. :) Its still too low, but that would be a respectable increase. 

I can officially say I survived the liquid diet! Honestly, I believed it would be terrible, but it went pretty well. After the first 2 days I really didn't get that hungry.. at least not any more than when  was eating solid food. Today was an all clear liquid day, and it was a little tougher. I'm not going to lie. I'm hungry right now. I was able to get through work today and concentrate, and I wasn't any more crabby than usual. I had black coffee, crystal light, 3 cups of broth, and 3 sugar free popsicles. And lots of water!!! I proved to myself that I could do it and not cheat- and I'm feeling pretty happy about that!  I haven't lost as much as I thought I would. Maybe 8 or 9 pounds over the past 2 weeks for a total of about 22? I'll take that and be proud of it, because I fought for every pound!!! 

I'm a little apprehensive about tomorrow. I suppose its normal to worry about all of the things that could go wrong with surgery. I've also developed a cold- which doesn't surprise me. My immune system probably isn't at its best. I have a two year old in daycare and a 15 year old step son who just went back to school. Exposure to germs are a given (and daycare germs are the worst!! Kids are little germ monkeys!!!) I can be around sick people all day at work and do fine, but if I get within 5 feet of a sneezy toddler with a runny nose- I know I'll have it in a few days. I called the office and the nurse said it should be ok as long as its not too bad. So, as long as it doesn't get my asthma going, I should be good to go tomorrow! I'm not excited about sneezing and coughing with abdominal incisions- but there is no way I am cancelling. If they cancel surgery- so be it. But I will be there and ready! I

My mom is going to take me to the hospital and my husband is going to meet me there. Surgery is scheduled for 1015AM! I still can't believe it's tomorrow! 

Today is day 7 of the 2 week liquid diet. At first, I was pretty bad, but most days have gone ok. There were just a few moments that I was so hungry I thought I was going to lose it. It's getting better, and I'm getting into "my groove." There are a few things I'm really enjoying. 

#1. Strawberry Sorbet Unjury protein powder mixed with Crystal Light Lemonade. Delish!

#2 Creamy Tomato Soup from Campbells

#3. Cream of Wheat- thinned. I haven't had it since I was a kid and boy am I grateful for it now!

#4 Syntrax Nectar- Blue Sky. Its a tart fruit punchy kind of blue raspberry maybe? 

After youtubing gastric bypass, I found someone talking about mixing instant hazelnut coffee in their vanilla protein shake to make a frappuccino. I might have to try that. 

The weekend was a llitle bit harder to navigate. I had a family dinner to go to with a birthday party and then Friday evening and Saturday I had a scrapbooking crop to go to where the food was provided. It went ok. I packed my own stuff. I did feel like I was missing out but I was able to keep my emotions under control and still enjoyed myself. 

Only 6 more days of this, then its surgery day! 

It's hard to believe that I'm already to the point of my pre-op 2 week liquid diet. The "journey" up to this point has definitely had it's share of anxiety, tears, and has been an emotional rollercoaster. I became interested in the idea of having weight loss surgery seriously at the end of March and attended the Weight Loss Seminar at Wood County Hospital. I had a close friend who had Roux- en Y earlier and was having fantastic results. I recall being home from work sick and watching Dr Oz talking about the resolution of Type 2 diabetes in patients who have had RNY and thinking it might we worth looking into. After the seminar, I was sure I wanted to have weight loss surgery and was trying to decide between RNY and the sleeve. I had my first pre-op appt with Dr Lalor who recommended RNY. After I finished my Masters Degree I had more time and started doing some research into the duodenal switch. I then thought that was the route I wanted to go, but Dr Lalor didn't feel I was a good candidate. I looked into pursuing other options but then things started happening and people came forward who knew people who had the surgery and had some serious complications related to malnutrition. I'm not saying that it's a bad surgery at all. But I had to take a step back and look at myself and what I really wanted. Did I really know what I was getting in to? Did I really want to take that risk? I spent a lot of time praying and decided to go forward with the Roux-en Y. This was a tough decision for me. Mostly, because I had sold myself on the fact that the DS was the best surgery for me. I prayed for God's wisdom though, and what I got were people coming forward with words of warning in regards to that surgery. It took me a bit to realize that it was the answer to my prayer. While the DS is an amazing surgery, it's not the right one for me.

My biggest reason for wanting to have weight loss surgery is that I want to be healthier. I have Type 2 Diabetes. I know that there is no guarantee that it will resolve, but I would be very happy if it did. It is currently controlled with oral medications. I am also on medications for high blood pressure, depression, and musculoskeletal pain. I know that RNY won't necessarily fix all of that, but I do believe it will make me healthier. I also have a 2 year old son (soon to be 3.) I am often tired and lack the energy I wish I had to play with him and be active with my family. I often feel like I am missing out on the life I COULD have if I had more energy and were healthier.

My highest weight was about 302 back in 2009. I did lose a little. When I started the weight loss process at Wood County Hospital my weight was 291. Currently it is 275. I started my 2 week liquid pre-op diet yesterday and am scheduled for RNY on 8/20/13.

Right now my goal is to stick to the liquids and keep positive until surgery. I still am a little anxious about what life will be like afterwards, but who can ever know the future? The liquid diet is going to be a challenge. Yesterday thought I would never make it 2 weeks. Today seems easier. I keep thinking about how blessed I am that I have a supportive husband, family and friends and that I have an insurance company who covers the surgery and didn't give me a lot of hassle in regards to being approved for RNY. I recognize that not everyone has been granted this opportunity.