Holy "Skinny" Cow!!! 2 years baby!!

Sep 14, 2011

 24 months ago today I was nervously sitting in a strange hotel room, in a strange city waiting for my life to begin...

It's been 6 months since I posted anything.  Mostly because after awhile I found this website almost toxic, and well, I had a life to live.  By toxic, I mean I was finding it difficult to read about everyone else's success and not really having any of my own.  I found I was constantly comparing myself to others, and it was really bad for my self-esteem.  (If someone ever tells you that this surgery will solve all your problems, kick them in the ass and give them a reality check!)

So, here's where I'm at regarding the numbers:

Total lbs. lost = 139 lbs
Total inches lost = 67"
Current BMI = 24.69 which is NORMAL!
Weight 2 years ago = 292 lbs
Today's weight = 153 lbs
Starting Size = 24-28 depending on the clothes, most times it was XXXL
Today's size = 8-10, small to med

As to my mental state of mind these days?  I can't say it's worse than before, but I can't say it's better either.  I still have to deal with my self-esteem, but now it's not about my size, but my flabby, loose skin.  I don't look like a deflated balloon when I'm nude, but I do have these large heavy flaps.  They hang over my pelvic bones, and it's highly unattractive, as well as uncomfortable.  My legs aren't horrible, but I won't be wearing anything above my knees anytime soon.  My boobs are teeny, tiny and I really don't like them, but the worst part is my arms.  When I have them hanging at my sides, there is a heavy flap of skin that hangs over my elbows, and it's all wrinkly and looks like testacles.  When I lift up my arms, there is this large, heavy curtain of skin that just hangs there.  They are a constant embarrassment to me.  I hate them!!

Unfortanetly I don't see large amounts of money coming my way, so plastics just isn't an option in my near future.  Yes, I'd love new boobs, a flat belly and arms that won't kill anyone if I wave...I bet I'd lose another 10 lbs at least and possibly be under my personal goal of 150...but it's not gonna happen, and well to be honsest, it makes me downright miserable.
So, even if you lose a ton of weight, there are forever more going to be issues.  Now they're just different.

Food limitations do not bother me anymore.  I eat what I want, I'm just dang careful with portion size, and I keep a sharp eye on sugar levels.  I still read every single label before I put it in my mouth, and I am still making healthy meals at home.  But if I'm craving a pizza, I'll make a thin crust pizza and have a couple of pieces.  

As for exercise, I quit the gym for summer.  Concentrated more on cardio, and being active outside.  Dropped weight training, and also dropped 10 lbs in the process.  10 lbs of hard earned muscle is gone, but hey, I got to a normal BMI...Back to the gym in October however.  

It's not all negative however.  I managed to work at my job full time as usual, but also managed to work at home 24/7 for almost 3 months before I felt the burn out.  From May to August, we didn't have 1 single day that wasn't filled with extra dogs in our home.  Being a dogsitter isn't an all consuming physical job, but it does take it's toll.  Would have never been able to do that before.

I can ride my bike for miles, and feel no pain.  I can walk and walk and not feel fatigued.  I can go downstairs, grab the laundry, run up the stairs and not be out of breath.  Healthwise, I am extremely pleased with my progress.  

I've done things in the past 2 years that I only dreamt of doing as an adult.  Zip-lining, rides at the amusement park, sitting in a booth comfortably, crossing my legs and best of all, SKY DIVING!!!

It's been a bumpy ride, but I don't regret doing it.  I still view it as having done the best thing in my life for myself.  

Hopefully, it won't be 6 months until I post again.  I'm not sure if anyone else ever reads my blogs, but it sure was interesting to see where I was 6 months ago!

Until next time...

2 Comments