RRach

Send Message

Block

Add Friend

I have not had the energy to pull my laptop out to type my immediate post op experience until today. :)

I have been post-op now for 2 weeks and 1 day. Some did not have a hard time. And honestly, neither did I, but it was still not a walk in the park. My BIGGEST and most important piece of advice to you is this:

Do not receive discharge instructions without someone present.

My best friend and I had been waiting hours for me to discharge. We kept being told the nurse was coming. I was told to get dressed and everything. This all started around 10a. Well, at 2:00 p.m., my best friend asked if I minded if she ran to the cafeteria to get something to eat. She said I will be right back but I need to eat (she had not eaten breakfast and was famished). I kid you know... she walked out and 5 minutes later the nurse came in. The nurses have doped me up on synthetic morphine. I cannot even see straight and she says, "sign this." I told her I did not feel comfortable signing anything. She said it was just stating that she was there to review the discharge instructions. Against my better judgment (again remember I am out of it), I signed it. She mumbled something and handed me papers. I begged her to wait and explained I needed my friend there and her reply was, "I have a lot of patients. I can't wait." 

I understood. But she should have skipped me and come back because I asked her from the moment she walked in to wait on my friend. 

Guess what important information I missed?? The day the drain could be removed. Apparently, the dr wanted me there on Tuesday, July 29th. I did not go until my 2 week appt which was August 4th. 

Speaking of drains, mine was killing me. Some people it is just a nuisance but for me I developed an infection. I kept the dressings clean and did everything the paper said to do. on August 4th, the doctor said it was in too long. I was running a fever because of an infection.

Some ask if I regret the surgery. Heck no. Were the first two weeks easy? Not for me. But I will tell you what.... I am thankful each and every day that I did not have any complications. *knock on wood* At least thus far. :)

I plan on writing more about the in-home experience later of the 2 weeks post op later. :)

Yesterday, the Nurse Practitioner from my surgeon's office called. She said that my pre-op testing showed that I have a bladder infection. She called me in an antibiotic. No big deal. I just found it really weird that I am not experiencing any of the symptoms of having one. Usually, I am in tune with my body and know these things. I am glad she caught it in time. I was reading online that they will postpone a surgery for a bladder infection if you cannot get 7 days worth of antibiotics in beforehand. 

Boyyyy am I LUCKY they caught it fast enough!! :D

I keep pinching my arm. Is this really happening?? 9 MORE DAYS and I WILL BE FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!! 

A bit of good news. At the beginning of summer, I bought a swimsuit. A very large large swimsuit. It did not fit. *sigh* (Yep, I really sighed as I typed the word. Lol)

Saturday morning I got the urge to just try it on again. IT FIT!!!!!! IT FIT, IT FIT, IT FIT!! Small victories.. I tell you.. sometimes they are even better than the larger victories. Don't you think???

For once, I am not here to write about my panics or woes. I am concerned because I was told yesterday that my surgeon broke her wrist. I'm more concerned for my doctor than myself; which is very odd seeing as I am the one who will be under the knife. 

I am praying for her recovery and that she feels better soon!

This post is inspired from sharing a few of my thoughts to a friend on here in a PM. 

I am worried sick. I am panicky, honestly. I did the liver shrink diet for months. Then my doctor told me I could stop until... yesterday. Now, I am back on it. WHAT IF MY LIVER DIDN'T/DOESN'T shrink enough? What if she starts and stops because my liver is too big and fatty? Will I lose all of the money I paid for surgery since I am self-pay? Does it mean I am not a good candidate for surgery? I am so close to receiving the help I need and am terrified it will slip through my fingers. 

Before anyone starts posting negative replies.. I am not cheating on this liver shrink diet. So, this post is not about me cheating and afraid of the consequences. I am genuinely scared my liver is a wreck and won't cooperate. :( 

That would be the most embarrassing thing.. to wake up and have to tell family and friends why the surgery was not done. :(

I went to hang out with friends last night. I proudly toted along my protein shake mix and someone I had never met knew instantly what I was up to. How? Because she had had the surgery before. She had the DS done. We talked and talked all about the pre-op diet, the procedure, and what to expect post-op. I learned I will have a disgusting amount of flatulence that will clear out a village. LOL!

She was very helpful but suggested I get the DS done. She said DS has better longterm results and said with RNY that I will gain the weight back. I told her my surgery is scheduled for 07/23 and that it was more than likely too late to switch.

She was incredibly kind and helpful!!

But now I am worried sick. Should I change?! Am I going to fail and gain all of this weight back?? I weight 400+. I don't want to be 400+ ever again!!!!! I am freaking out.... HELP!!!!! :( 

I want to succeed. I am SO afraid of failure. One minute I am completely confident that I will beat the curse of super-duper-over-the-top-crazy-embarrasing morbidly morbid obesity. (Yep, that's is now a new category. Lol) And then other times, I find myself, without thinking, reaching into a bag of chips my roommate is holding. I have to stop, drop the chips, and mentally redirect myself. Sometimes I do this without a second thought and others I think, "is this a sign I am going to fail?"

I refuse to fail. Refuse. No way. I WILL SUCCEED.

I just wish cognitively my unconscious was on the same page.

My Dad said to me a month or so ago, "If this doesn't work for you, then nothing will." That is the moment self-doubt crept into my mind. He was not saying it maliciously; he is just concerned.

My surgery date was set for July 24 but today the office called and reported that it has been changed to July 23. YES!! I WILL TAKE THAT 1 EXTRA DAY SOONER! hehe ;)

I was the "solid" child. I remember one summer day, while driving around with mom, looking down and thinking "wow my upper legs are big." I was 8. I didn't know what thighs were yet. I remember being bigger than all of my friends. I remember my parents putting me on weightloss pills and them making me feel hungrier than I was. I remember watching my parents fight and running to the kitchen for food. It was comforting. I remember my senior year of high school looking at my senior pictures and asking, "who is that?!" I had gotten so big and did not have a clue. I honestly did not know the pics were of me. I was in denial. 

In 2004, I decided to make a change I went from almost 600 lbs to 250 by 2009. It was a lot of hard work but I did it. In 2010, I was in a car accident that turned my life upside down. The teen had been texting while I was parked at a red light. He hit me so hard that it impacted my car and the 5 in front of me. Unfortunately, mine was totaled completely. I lost my job. I lost a lot because he needed to reply to a text. A month after everything happened I met a sick individual. He was convinced that I was prettier at a larger weight. I was so vulnerable. I just wanted something good. I ran to food for comfort. I was in so much pain that I stopped exercising. EVERYTHING I was doing right... I started to do wrong. 

I have tried so many times since 2011 to lose weight and regain my life. But I continued to gain weight. 

A few months ago my Dad got his inheritance and was buying me a car. I said to him with tearful eyes that I would rather have the gastric bypass and have a tool to help me regain my life than to have a new vehicle. He bought me the vehicle and 3 days later gave me 3 checks to cover my surgery. I have done everything my surgeon has told me to do. I have been on the liver shrinking diet for a good while now. I am seeing the lbs fall off. 

I look forward to having the surgery. Not because it is the easy way out, because it's not. It is still mandatory to make lifestyle changes and stick to them. I look forward to it because I will finally have the help I need. 

And before you ask, yes.. I do see a therapist about my addiction of using food for comfort. I do not really run to food anymore like I used to. I go to the gym and do other helpful activities. 

There you have it. This is my Pre-Op story.