Michelle_2975

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Height:	feet   inches
Weight:	pounds

You have a BMI of 29.7.
This shows that you are moderately overweight.
Your BMI is not high enough to qualify you for bariatric surgery.
Holy! I can't believe it!

 

I think my stall has finally broken!!!!! I was staying at 171-172 for weeks, almost months but yesterday and the day before the scale read 169lbs and today it read 168lbs!! I hope that this is true and that the weight is going to start coming off again. I have 2 weeks of working midnights and when that is done I am going to start using my bike again and I am going to make a point of going to the gym.  I have been this weight for so long I am starting to feel like a fat ass again.  My next short term gaol weight is to be under 150lbs. That is only 20lbs away.

I did it, I quit smoking. It is day 3 and man I am so bitchy this time around. I had to stop taking the Champix. It was making my belly burn. But I am not going to smoke again. I do not want bleeding ulcers. On Thursday I smoked my last smoke in the afternoon and was thinking about going to buy another pack and I started googling pics and info on ulcers. Anytime now, if I get the urge to light one up I will just remember the images I saw. I am also still trying to take back control of my eating. I am getting better and better every day. I am not drinking while eating unless I feel like I am going to choke if something is too dry and I am following the 30 min rule. I have bought some rtd shakes and when I feel like grazing I grab a shake. I bought some pure protein shakes from walmart. They are only 100 cals, 1g of sugar and 2g of fiber. It is a nice change of pace. i also still use my powder but only 1 scoop per day. Between the both I am getting 50-55g of protein from my drinks. I have mostly been staying away from the sweets. I am not perfect but I am doing so much better. It is harder yet at the same time easier than I thought it would be. I am glad that the Halloween treats were all gone today at work. I made sure to go grocery shopping this week and buy meat , cheese, jerky etc. I am trying when I get the urge to have something sweet to have some bread and butter pickles. it is kinda doing the trick. I have been very lazy in my house work lately too. Everything keeps getting in the way. Lately I have been very upset that my husband doesn't help me. I have been getting very angry with him lately. I wish I didn't get so mad. I have been asking him to help me and he doesn't at all! this week I am going to clean up so well that when he comes home and drops his shit on the floor I am going to have it out with him big time!  I don't know if it is hormones or what but I have been so emotional lately. I don't want to leave the house but when I do I don't want to come home because so many things piss me off here. I can't even put it into words how I have been feeling. I got a major hair cut. It hasn't been this short since I was 8 years old. I think it is cute when it is done but it is high maintenance and I don't feel as pretty as I did when it was long. I know that it looks thicker and you cant tell that i have lost hair with it this way but I sure wish that every time I catch my reflection that I didn't have to look twice to see if it is really me.

I have now lost 99lbs from my heaviest recorded weight. I am happy that I am happy that I am slowly but surely getting there. It can be frustrating when I hear how people who have gotten their surgery after my have lost more weight than me. I know that I have sabotaged myself many times. I wish that I had more restrictions. I do not like that i am starting to be able to puke up stomach contents when I have eaten too much. I know that I just have to stop. I don't puke up everything but just enough to settle my stomach. I have only done it under a half dozen times. I am trying o relearn what is too much for me. For a while I could really eat lots but I know that I was eating the wrong stuff. Now I am trying to eat all proteins and not much else unless it is veggies but I cant eat as much protein as I could shit foods and have been over doing it some meals. I have to remember not to take that extra bite. It seems like people get into this program and they don't have struggles with the diet. I cant after eating like shit for 36 years to be able to over night change my ways. It is a daily challenge. Some days I fail miserably and some days I do really good. I do not have to go back to work until Thursday night (joy, midnights) do i am going to be very careful with what I eat and how much I eat. I work many midnights in the next 2 weeks :(. The only good thing about work is that I am not by my fridge and I do eat much better. Then after these dreaded midnights I almost have 2 weeks off work. I really want to start exercising again. I haven't really done it consistently since before my wedding. I have to start caring again. I am going to the states in May. It is far away but I would love to be at my second goal weight by then. It is only 30 more pounds. I would love to be 139 when I go. I am wanting to shop until I drop :)

i have been having some issues with one of my friends. Her attitude is changing towards me. I feel like I am so far away from being skinny yet I feel like sometimes she mocks me about it.  She even told me that I can't talk like a fat chick anymore. Please. I am always going to like food and just like her. I am going to have to deal with food addictions.  Just like her.

Well I guess I am done bitching about shit for now, 'Till next time...

Peace.

The only thing that I have being doing is taking the Champix. It is day 8 on them. I think that Ièm on my last pack of smokes. I caèt see me wanting to smoke after tomorrow. One monkey off my back. My eating is getting better. Not as bad as it was though. I knew I would be the one that wouldnèt be able to shake her food addictions. One day at a time right.  I hit something on this keyboard and I canèt figure out what I did.  I have been doing better with the drinking rules. I was getting bad with that. I wasnèt drinking when I ate but drinking too soon after. I have totally stopped that. This is the longest that I have ever been on a diet. I did expect more limitations on what I can and canèt eat to help during this time in my journey. I knew that I would have problems after my wedding sticking to my diet. I would like to loss another 40lbs at least, but I am pretty happy whee I am. From my heaviest I have lost 97lbs and I feel great. I think that is all I am going to write at this time. I have to work in the morning. Working still tires me out.
Peace.

Well, I suck, lol. I have been eating bad for a month now. Ever since my wedding. Tomorrow I kick the bad habits in the ass and get back on track. I have made up a menu plan. I am going to basically eat the same things everyday except for super when I get to mix it up a bit. I am going to stay at 1000 cals/day give or take 50 cals. I have scheduled drink breaks that are small enough that it won't take me an hour to drink. I am going to give up some of the protein that I get from my protein drink and trade them in for less calorie foods. I also have started smoking again. On Thursday I am going to be starting Champix again. I figure the cost of them will be cheaper than the amount I am smoking. Time to smarten up and use the tool that I was given.

Here is a before and after in my wedding dress. For how much they had to alter (they took a little over 12 inches) I was not disappointed with my dress.

Their goal weight was 177lbs for me. At 8 months out I weighed in at 175lbs. I am very happy that I have reached my first goal weight, now on to mine of 135!

...and the scale read 176lbs!  That is 1lb less  than the NUT's goal weight for me. I am so excited. Now on to my goal weight. I am very happy that I got the bike. I ride it for about an hour a day. I credit it for helping me break through my stall.

I got a recumbent bike given to me today. I am very excited! Started today with 15mins. Tomorrow 20 mins. Going to build it up 5 mins per day. I am very happy that I got it. Watch out stall, I'm coming for you!

I told myself not to get frustrated when I stall but come on! How long is this going to last? I have been the same weight now for about 4 weeks now. I just wanted to be under 170 for my wedding. I have been hovering around 180-183 for what seems like forever. I keep trying to convince myself that if this is it to be happy with my weight. I haven't weighed this little in over 10 years. The diabetes is gone. I could be happy, or at least I should be happy but like almost everything else, l want more. In the last few weeks I have stopped smoking pot, upped my  protein intake (in drink form) and have upper my liquids and as a last resort have stopped taking my birth control pills. I found that as soon as I started taking my pill that the weight loss slowed but at least it was still coming off. I am thinking if the stall hasn't broken by Monday that I am going on just liquids for a week to see if that helps.  Ha-ha, going on another diet. At least that is what it is going to feel like, at least I won't be hungry. Frustrated!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 10lbs in 2 months, unacceptable.I am rally starting to hate the question, "So how much have you lost now?" and having to answer, "Still the same" :(  I know it is a waiting game but I am not a patient person!  I really wanted to be in the 160's so bad for my wedding, even 169 I would have liked. I read post were people have started out around my weight give or take 7lbs and they are down 90lbs in a few months. I try so hard not to get upset with it and to be happy for them but what about me! I am getting really down about it. Well enough about that!