Lyndsay1031

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Mar 09, 2010

Jul 23, 2009

My goodness what a rough 4 months it's been!  I remember my "so many" months pre-op all I could think about was this surgery.  It dominated everything in my head.  There was excitement, hopes, dreams, terror, dread, anxiety, and most of all......doubt. I say doubt because I think everyone who goes into something like this are all dreaming of that light at the end of the tunnel.  The day where they could do everything they've never been able to do before. For me it was walk with out having to stop every 4 to 5 minutes so I could rest and catch my breath, shop at the "normal" stores and not out of a catalog, wear high heels, ride any roller coaster I wanted to, sit in a booth at a restraunt, ride on an airplane comfortably, and most of all...........love what I saw looking back at me in the mirror.  But there's a small voice......and it lives in the pit of your stomach and its always saying "What if it doesn't work?, What if you don't like what you look like after?, What if something goes wrong?, Will I fail?"  Everytime one of these questions would come into my mind.....my heart would hit the floor.  I didn't want to think this way.....it could maybe sabatage me in the end.  And it's not long before you find that you're turning into a psychotic mess!  Is this surgery worth all of that? 

To an unexpected and very fortunate turn of events........Everything I thought I knew about the sleeve and was "prepared" for........was completely wrong and obsolete.  This has been NOTHING like I imagined.  I thought I would be so down in the dumps because I couldn't eat..... Nope.  I look at people eating big giant plates full of food and I don't feel jealous.  I feel sorry for them! LOL.  I think it's gross seeing people just shoving piles of nasty grease infused food into their mouths. ~shudders~ Disgusting.   I thought I would be dealing with not having any energy and thought I would be fatigued all the time.  Right now I'm fighting this damn-near-uncontrollable urge to get up and just take off running.  Where the hell all this energy is coming from, I have no idea. 

I was also dealing with some other mental speed bumps.  My brain simply wasn't catching up to all the changing that was happening to my body.  I still saw a whale in the mirror......but everyone around me were continuing to give me compliments and telling me how good I looked and what a good job I've done.  I couldn't allow myself to believe them!  I guess that was that evil cynical side of myself that's always been buried and hidden and stuffed back into the dark corner of my soul.  Because that same voice I talked about before was sitting there saying "They're people who know you've had the surgery.  They love you.  Of course they're going to tell you that you look good!"  I have trouble explaining this logic to myself most of the time......but it's just my gut feelings, you know?  So I guess until I starte getting compliments from complete strangers....I'm not going to believe it.  I still don't believe the number I see on the scale.  Something is wrong with the scale......it's not right.  THIS comes from seeing one number on my scale.....then seeing something a totally different (very mortifying) number on the "professional" scale at the doctor's office.  So I have no idea what to believe when it comes to what I really weigh. 

One thing that IS a little annoying that this surgery has changed is, I thought I would be off all of my medications by now.  Nope.  I'm now taking more meds now that I ever have.  But......I don't really care.  It's 10 seconds out of my day.  I haven't had my happy shopping experience yet.  I'm hoping that will happen this weekend.  I know I've dropped at least 2 to 3 sizes in shirts.  Pants- I'm not so sure.  I had a pair of jeans that I tried on about 3 weeks pre-op.....and lol...omg....there was NO hope for these things.  They wouldn't even came up over my hips.  And now they're zipping right up.  But they're a size 28........ My aunt came over and gave me some clothes she had that didn't fit her anymore and they were all size 24s......and they were just like the jeans used to be...they wouldn't even come up over my hips!  So I don't know......We'll have to see how stuff fits when I go shopping this weekend! 

I got on the scale this morning (for the first time in 2 weeks) and it said "282".   276 will be my "100 lbs lost" mark. I was walking in to work this morning and passed by a window.........and saw the reflection.  I stopped dead in my tracks and yelled out "HOLY SHIT!"  I DO LOOK GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  What the hell happened over night???

I'm glad I'm starting to see what a difference there is.  And I can't wait to show all of you!!!!! I will be getting new pics on here hopefully this weekend. 

 GO SLEEVE!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh and PS:  Skyline now tastes the same as it always did....but the new tummy hates the pasta....lol.  Oh well!

May 10, 2009

I still don't have any new "body" shots but I will get them up as soon as I get them......But I have included here a picture that I recently saw of myself and almost vomited.  This is me up on stage at a concert for a halloween costume contest last year (I was one of the finalists).  I was a dead "Coroner". This was me at my highest weight....somewhere between 370 and 376.



And here are 2 pictures I took this weekend at Dr. Curry's Red Carpet Event that he threw in honor of his patients and all their success:

This is just me:





And of course...this is me 9 weeks post-op. Hope you like! 

Apr 19, 2009

Welp, I will be 6 weeks post-op on Tuesday! I have to say....it's been a pretty wild ride so far!  I was nervous before the surgery because I thought I had to say goodbye to so many of my favorite foods.  As it turns out.....I said goodbye to them.....but I'm not sad to see them go!  Some things just simply don't taste the same.  I'm a little sad, but kinda not because those things got me to where I was before surgery!!!!  However, there is one thing that is making me a little blue.....Anyone who lives or has even been to the Cincinnati area, you've heard of Skyline and Goldstar.  It's "Cincinnati style" chili.....and it's the BOMB.  They serve it over spaghetti and top it with cheese......or coneys and burritos......there's so many things they do with it.  There's always a rival between the two chilis.....You either love Skyline, or you love Goldstar.  I, personally, have always loved both.  They even sell the chili frozen at the grocery stores......you take it home, cook it....and put it over your own spaghetti.........OMG.  It's been my favorite since I was a little kid!!!!  My mom made some the other day and I thought I would try some....even tho spaghetti is a no no...I was only going to have a couple of bites.  At this point...my nutritionist told me to eat what I can handle....and I'm still not holding but just a few bites at a time.....so what's the problem???  Well I tried it......and I was soooooooo sad.  It didn't taste the same to me!!!  I thought maybe it was just that batch of chili.......Nope.  I tried it again a few days later at the restraunt........... I hate it now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I haven't attempted Gold star yet....but it's sooooo next on my list.   I hope it's not changed!

Anyway...that's really my only prob so far.  That and dealing with nosy/mean people in the food service industry.  Just because I don't wish to eat an obnoxious amount of their stupid food....they have to cop an attitude.  ~shrugs~  I'm starting to just laugh at it.  Who cares!!!!

So I'm fastly on my way to saying goodbye to the world of the "300's".  The scale has been creeping it's way down!!!  But I won't stop until I'm well into "Onederland".  

Mar 14, 2009

Well, I've been getting lots of messages and TONS of questions about how my surgery went on the 10th, so I will go ahead and just write it all here....and if there are more questions....feel free to message me!!  I want to help in anyway I can!

My surgeon is Dr. Trace Curry in Cincinnati, OH.  He's an amazing man!!! Very nice and down to earth....not one of those jerk pretentious doctors!!!  He honestly cares about your health and success with weight loss surgery.  I didn't even meet any other surgeons....when I met him and read all the reviews....I knew he was my guy!!  I attended his seminar in December '08....and from there, began planning my journey!!!

I am a self pay patient, which means my insurance was of absolutely NO help...which wasn't that big of a surprise.  But fortunately for me, I am in a position where I can afford it on my own.  I have awesome parents who are letting me live with them while I am in college.  I work full time and I JUST paid off my car....so.....VSG here I come!!!!!!

When I went in for my initial consultation with Dr. Curry and his very large staff of nurses, dieticians, and more nurses, I was set on having RNY Gastric Bypass.  When Dr. Curry came in to meet with me, he suggested the VSG.  He said that the weight loss was very similar to a bypass, and it was cheaper (since I'm a self pay!)  He actually suggested the cheaper option....that right there told me that he cares about way more than money.  It took me a few days to decide, but I finally did.  I called and scheduled my surgery for March 10th, 2009.



I consider this date to be my "rebirth" date.  I went under anesthesia as one person, and came out of it a completely different person.  It's a pretty cool concept, if you think about it!

Anyway......March arrived.  My doc had me on this diet called "Medi-fast"..........Yuck.  I've never tasted stuff so horrible in my life.  GRRRRROOOOOSS.   But he wanted me on it so that I could lose as much weight as possible before the surgery.  So I faught thru it and made it.  Of course I cheated............a lot.................but I still made healthy choices.  I lost 7 lbs.  

Finally, March 9th arrived.  The day from hell.  I had to be on clear liquids all day.....then nothing after midnight.  Talk about starvation.  I thought I was going to die!!!  I've never been so hungry in all my life!!!  But again.....I faught thru it.....and I made it.

Tuesday, March 10th, 2009.

I woke up that morning at about 5:30.  I had to be at the hospital at 6:20.....so needless to say....it was time to haul ass!!!  My mom and I got into the car and drove off.  I almost puked when we pulled out of the drive way from being so nervous.  I mean holy hell?  Do you know what they were going to do to me today???? They're going to poke a bunch of holes in me and rip my stomach out!!!!!!!!!!!!  (Could I be more morbid? ;)  It's just my nature, sorry!)  I was really freaking out!!!  We pulled into the parking lot and I turned into a zombie.  I just got out of the car, got my bag, and walked slowly and quietly to the door.  I went to the desk to let the receptionist know that I was there to have surgery.  She instructed me to have a seat, and told me a nurse would be with me in a moment.  It was about 10 minutes....but it felt like 3 seconds.  A very skinny blonde woman came out from the hall and called my name.  I walked back with her and she instucted my mom to wait in a small waiting area for about 20 minutes....and then she could come and be with me in Pre-op.  

The nurse walked me back to the pre op room, and it was loaded with beds and curtains.....even a few people hooked up to IVs and had those funny looking blue caps on their heads.  Those always make me laugh.  She took me to my own private little curtained area and instructed me to stip down to nothing and put on a gown.  I complied.  I was relieved to see that they had supplied me with a very cozy pair of grey socks/slippers....my feet are always so damn cold.  I laid down on the bed and got under the covers, and about 20 minutes later.....another nurse finally came back and started my IV and put one of those stupid caps on me.  And to add insult to injury...they put this really big long black sticker on my forehead that they claim "tells my temperature".  Oh jesus.........I must look like a complete dork.  But when the nurse came back with a big syringe full of Versed..............I didn't care anymore.

My mom came back to the room with my Grandmother and my Aunt who had just shown up.....They were all standing around my bed looking at me and holding my hand telling me that it was going to be ok.  This would had been the point where my eyes would have exploded with tears (as they are right now while I'm typing this) but I was so drugged up....I just laid there staring into space.  Then a man came into the room and he stood in the middle of the room and slowly turned and pointed at each patient.  Kinda like duck duck goose.  Guess who his freakin' goose is???  They told my family it was time for me to go, and escorted them out of the room and wheeled me back to the OR.  We stopped just outside of the last OR on the left.  OR 11.  I could see thru the windows the big lights over the table.  Then someone walked out of the room and the doors swung open......I saw the table.  It looked like a total torture chamber in there.  We stood outside the OR waiting for the staff to prep the room for about 5 minutes.  Then the nice gentleman who was with my Anesthesiologist pushed the button on the wall.....and the doors flung open.  Time for me to go.  

They alligned my bed and the OR table and asked me to "scoot" on to the table.  I laid down on the torture table and there was another man down at my feet putting on these cuff things on my legs.  I looked over and my surgeon walked out from a little room and he was putting his mask on.  He said "Why are you still awake? I can't operate on you while you're awake!"......I laughed and said "Please don't!".  So then, my anesthesiologist came over with a huge syringe in his hand, and I saw the needle poke thru the port on my IV.  He told me I was going to feel a slight burn....but at the same time, the assistant anesthesiologist turned my head back so I was staring upward and he put a mask on my face and said very gently "Here's some gas for you to breathe.....just take slow breaths.................................................have a good nap".  I felt the burn in my hand, and suddenly felt my arms and legs going numb.  I was staring up into that big light above the table......and it slowly faded away.

Then pretty suddenly, I woke up in the recovery room.  I had a not so nice nurse in there....but nurses who have to deal with people coming out of anesthesia can't be the nicest people anyway.  I kept waking up and drifting back off again.  I remember waking up a couple of times and ripping that stupid oxygen thing out of my nose.  LOL.  The nurse came back to my bed and realized I had ripped it out and yelled at me.  "Lyndsay, you HAVE to keep this oxygen on!".  Blaah.  I wanted to punch her but I was too messed up to realize it.  Then my mom and my sister came back.  Hmm....when did my sister get here? I didn't know she was coming"......I opened my eyes and looked at them and went right back to sleep.

I woke up a while later when they came to take me to my room.  I love being pushed around in beds....it's so fun.  You just watch the celing above you and enjoy the ride.  The only time I don't like it is when I'm being taken to the torture chamber!!  I got to my room and fell back asleep.  My mom came to me and told me that she was going to leave for a little bit, but that my dad was there, and that she would be back in a few hours.  I remember waking up a few times and seeing my dad sitting next to me writing on a clip board......don't have a clue what the hell he was doing...but I thought it was awesome that he was sitting at my bedside watching me sleep for god knows how long.  

I was admitted to the hospital at 6:30 that morning, and I was out the door at 4:30 in the afternoon, the following day.  My nurses were ok.......They could have done a better job, but they had so many patients.  I only hit my call button to ask for more ice chips and pain meds.  The morning after surgery, my favorite nurse, Danielle, came in and told me she was going to have a tray brought in for me.  Oh crap.  I get to eat?  After about 2 hours....there was a tray brought into my room.  I had a nice bowl of broth, a bowl of Jell-O, a small cup of Crystal Light, a cup of de-caf coffee, a little tray of sweet and low, and a sugar free popsicle.  :)  I was excited about the popsicle because it was blue raspberry. HELL YEAH!  Someone up above sent me that popsicle!  They knew blue raspberry was my total fav!!! It was kinda weird taking my first bites.  I was careful to make sure to take small bites.......When it would hit my stomach, it hurt a little....but I was told this was completely normal.  Then I tried the broth.....it was ok.....but I really liked the Crystal light.  It wasn't ice chips!!!!!  The Jell-O I didn't care for....it was too warm and goopy.  

So FINALLY...it was time for me to go home.  My dad picked me up at the front entrance to the hospital where a very nice man wheeled me down there in a wheel chair.  He took me home and as soon as I walked into the door, I started to feel a little sick.  I think it was just because I had walked a bunch and I hadn't done that in a while....lol.  The journey home from the hospital can be rough!  So I sat on my bed and went for my anti nausea medication, which are just small white pills.  About 3/4 the size of an M&M.  I went to swallow it......of course it didn't go down.  They seriously need to coat those damn things.  So I had to swallow another mouthfull of Propel to get it to go down, and I don't know if the pill got stuck....or if it was just too much liquid at once, but holy hell.  I started to salivate like a rabid dog and felt like I was going to pass out.  Finally after about 5 minutes it passed and I felt a little better.  I laid down and went to sleep.  I woke up about 5 hours later and did the same thing.  My mom woke me up and asked me if I had even moved since I came home....I told her yeah and that I had just taken more nausea meds and fell back asleep.  She told me I needed to get up and start drinking more.  My surgeon has me on this god awful clear liquid diet.  It's ok, though.  I do feel head hungry at times.....but I just keep sipping and eating my popsicles!!!  

So far I only have 2 complaints. The first is the swallowing pills thing.  That is getting easier though.  I took some meds last night and they went down super easy...no problems at all.  YAY!  :)  The second complaint is these damn gas pains.  It was tricking me for a while....I thought I was hungry!!!  It really does feel like your stomach is growling, then I would get this bubbly feeling in my throat.  It's not painful, but just really freaking annoying. I've been taking Mylanta, and it's been helping tremendously with that little problem, so YAY#2!  I will be going to see my surgeon on Tuesday for a post op check up...and then I will be able to go on my puree diet.....Which I am oddly looking forward to!  A whole week of nothing but liquid....you're ready for something different!!!!! 

Hope this answers most of your questions....again, if not...just email me!!!

Oh and by the way.................Since I was weighed on Monday..................I have lost 25 lbs!!!!!  WOOOT!!!!!!!!