karmaskorner
Damn you Sonic!
Jan 26, 2011
Okay, I know the title is a little harsh but Sonic just recently added the Red Velvet Shake to their menu. After swimming 2 hours with my college son, we decided to split a shake since we felt like we had burned so many calories swimming that long. Sadly, they taste like heaven in a cup. Later that night and even the next morning, I found myself wanting other "bad carbs" that only add empty calories to my daily diet. I guess I can refer to the Sonic shake as a slippery slope food. Once I have bad choice food I want yet another and another. That refined sugar makes my joints swell, gives me headaches and makes me have cravings that just can't be curbed. You might say "just have willpower" but it hasn't been a strong feature in my life regarding eating and this is something I will always have to work on.
I'm still in a holding pattern waiting to hear from insurance. Some people in support group say to stay on your insurance provider to get things to happen more quickly. I guess I will just try to relax and learn as much as I can before that next step happens. It might sound strange but being diabetic, I'm really worried about the whole liquid part of this diet. I have my protein shakes in the mornings but if I exercise I have some times that my blood sugars have been crashing and I have been light headed and feeling rather sick. I usually have to eat some solid proteins to get myself back to feeling normal. I'm not sure how liquids for 2 weeks and then after surgery will work for me. I also don't really have my head wrapped around being diabetic now and what it means for how I have to eat pre-surgery and what it will mean after surgery. There are times I have to eat some candy to get my blood sugar up now. Yesterday after swimming for 2 hours and shopping which delayed my normal eating times, I came home and started cooking and almost blacked out. I sat down and had a few pieces of candy but I know after surgery that won't be an option. I guess I have a lot of questions like that to figure out before this surgery happens.
Another thing weighing on my mind is the surgeon that is doing my surgery has minimal bedside manner. At my first consultation he met many of my questions with, "there are no guarantees." I wasn't asking for absolute answers but what can I expect after surgery. I guess I was hoping for someone with a little more personality but after going through my psychological assessment and discussing it with the psychologist, he reminded me that my doctor is a technician and does that part of his job well. Years ago I had a leg surgery and my doctor had a similar personality so I need to look past that and move on. But I am still wanting to know he has my best interest at heart and will give me information. His physician's assistant is a kind person that listens and answers questions but it still has been weighing on my mind. I hope my 2nd appointment with him goes better???
In the meanwhile, while waiting for insurance approval I have been exercising 6 days a week. I don't always love it-love it but I'm learning to like the way I feel after I get finished. I can walk now without my back hurting, my legs are stronger, my asthma is improving, my joint pain isn't as bad as in the past, I'm starting to get some muscles in my arms(underneath the fat). I have lost 25 pounds and lost one pant size. Okay it is size 24 but I haven't been that size for a few years. I have been able to wear things that I haven't worn in a while. I just have an overall feeling of feeling better.
0 comments
I'm still in a holding pattern waiting to hear from insurance. Some people in support group say to stay on your insurance provider to get things to happen more quickly. I guess I will just try to relax and learn as much as I can before that next step happens. It might sound strange but being diabetic, I'm really worried about the whole liquid part of this diet. I have my protein shakes in the mornings but if I exercise I have some times that my blood sugars have been crashing and I have been light headed and feeling rather sick. I usually have to eat some solid proteins to get myself back to feeling normal. I'm not sure how liquids for 2 weeks and then after surgery will work for me. I also don't really have my head wrapped around being diabetic now and what it means for how I have to eat pre-surgery and what it will mean after surgery. There are times I have to eat some candy to get my blood sugar up now. Yesterday after swimming for 2 hours and shopping which delayed my normal eating times, I came home and started cooking and almost blacked out. I sat down and had a few pieces of candy but I know after surgery that won't be an option. I guess I have a lot of questions like that to figure out before this surgery happens.
Another thing weighing on my mind is the surgeon that is doing my surgery has minimal bedside manner. At my first consultation he met many of my questions with, "there are no guarantees." I wasn't asking for absolute answers but what can I expect after surgery. I guess I was hoping for someone with a little more personality but after going through my psychological assessment and discussing it with the psychologist, he reminded me that my doctor is a technician and does that part of his job well. Years ago I had a leg surgery and my doctor had a similar personality so I need to look past that and move on. But I am still wanting to know he has my best interest at heart and will give me information. His physician's assistant is a kind person that listens and answers questions but it still has been weighing on my mind. I hope my 2nd appointment with him goes better???
In the meanwhile, while waiting for insurance approval I have been exercising 6 days a week. I don't always love it-love it but I'm learning to like the way I feel after I get finished. I can walk now without my back hurting, my legs are stronger, my asthma is improving, my joint pain isn't as bad as in the past, I'm starting to get some muscles in my arms(underneath the fat). I have lost 25 pounds and lost one pant size. Okay it is size 24 but I haven't been that size for a few years. I have been able to wear things that I haven't worn in a while. I just have an overall feeling of feeling better.
Jumping through hoops
Jan 16, 2011
I have all the "jumping through hoops" over with and now I wait for approval from my insurance. I turned all my doctor's paperwork into the Weight Loss Management Program and she will mail it out Tuesday since Monday is MLK Day. I had blood work several times, an EKG, Gallbladder Sono, 3 Psych visits, 3 sleep studies, a CT scan of my liver, PAP update, and it seems like more doctor's visits than that but that is all I can think of now. Looking back I really don't know how people that work a full time job can keep up with all the doctor's visits and keep their job. Some weeks I had 2 appointments or more a week. If I was still a full time teacher, I would have never been able to get off work this much to go through this process. So my heart goes out to the people that are juggling a job, kids, and busy lives while going through this process. I have treated it like a full time job, learning what I can about nutrition, exercise, and the life I will be living after the surgery. I have kept a detailed notebook of everything from each doctor and the office personnel at the Weight Loss Program were glad to see how organized I was. I have found that doctors don't always remember to prescribe prescriptions, so I take detailed notes and follow up so it doesn't fall through the cracks. Lab work showed I have low Vitamin D, very high Feritin (thus the CT liver scan), and Gouty arthritis. So if nothing else good comes of all of this it is helping to get my body more balanced prior to surgery. No wonder my joints have hurt so much! I have lost 23 pounds by getting rid of as much sugary carbs as I can and exercising. I walk, swim, do Wii Fit and hubby just purchased a treadmill so I guess that is the new thing to get us motivated to get healthy. I exercise 6 days a week and allow myself one day off and that seems to work for me. I'm very fortunate to have a husband that is supportive by changing what he eats also since he knows I'm cutting down on things too. Starting this process he already weighs less than me. Hopefully this will help us both to become healthier.
My favorite form of exercise is swimming. It was tough going to the pool the first few time and putting a swimsuit on in front of others but everyone is nice and they know I'm trying to get healthy. I take a class called Buttz and Guttz and they allow me to stay and swim with the Senior Citizens. I know I don't belong in the "Senior crowd" but they are so sweet and they warm up the showers for me.
It sure makes it easier to go back when you feel better and have some success. So if others are reading this, buy a gym bag, have it always ready to go, and it makes the decision to get active easier. I started by walking our country roads. I'm not quite ready to progress to weight lifting at the gym yet. I think that will be a good thing eventually but that will include buying a gym membership and as we all know if you are committed to going, you won't get your money's worth and this process can be expensive in co-pays alone.
I have gone to the support group and people there are at all stages, pre and post ops. I have gone 3 times and get quite a bit of information but there are some really "chatty Cathy's"
that really rub the pre-ops the wrong way and I fear they will scare most of my group away. But I have met some really awesome people there too. I just feel sorry for the group leader because these gals run over her each week. I hope to have more self awareness than this.
I have been posting my food religiously on Sparks people. At times I think their nutrition facts are off so I google it and cross reference with other sites too. But posting on my ipad works for me. I usually eat in a range from 1800 to 2300 calories a day. If I go over 2000 I look back and evaluate what went wrong that day. Before this journey I know I ate much more than this and didn't even bat an eye. That is disgusting, I know. I was very disconnected to myself and got to where I ate to push away stressful feelings. I know I need to work on myself so I don't fall back into those terrible habits.
Having my college son home over the break I didn't want him to feel like coming home meant big changes so we kept food around that we have been trying to get rid of. It is a small victory but he started reading labels with me and realized pop tarts and a few other things were not the best choice for him. My biggest hopes are that my sons will learn to live better lifestyles through this process too.
Now I wait to hear if I will be approved. If I am approved I guess I'd be looking at surgery in February or early March.
0 comments
My favorite form of exercise is swimming. It was tough going to the pool the first few time and putting a swimsuit on in front of others but everyone is nice and they know I'm trying to get healthy. I take a class called Buttz and Guttz and they allow me to stay and swim with the Senior Citizens. I know I don't belong in the "Senior crowd" but they are so sweet and they warm up the showers for me.
It sure makes it easier to go back when you feel better and have some success. So if others are reading this, buy a gym bag, have it always ready to go, and it makes the decision to get active easier. I started by walking our country roads. I'm not quite ready to progress to weight lifting at the gym yet. I think that will be a good thing eventually but that will include buying a gym membership and as we all know if you are committed to going, you won't get your money's worth and this process can be expensive in co-pays alone. I have gone to the support group and people there are at all stages, pre and post ops. I have gone 3 times and get quite a bit of information but there are some really "chatty Cathy's"
that really rub the pre-ops the wrong way and I fear they will scare most of my group away. But I have met some really awesome people there too. I just feel sorry for the group leader because these gals run over her each week. I hope to have more self awareness than this.I have been posting my food religiously on Sparks people. At times I think their nutrition facts are off so I google it and cross reference with other sites too. But posting on my ipad works for me. I usually eat in a range from 1800 to 2300 calories a day. If I go over 2000 I look back and evaluate what went wrong that day. Before this journey I know I ate much more than this and didn't even bat an eye. That is disgusting, I know. I was very disconnected to myself and got to where I ate to push away stressful feelings. I know I need to work on myself so I don't fall back into those terrible habits.
Having my college son home over the break I didn't want him to feel like coming home meant big changes so we kept food around that we have been trying to get rid of. It is a small victory but he started reading labels with me and realized pop tarts and a few other things were not the best choice for him. My biggest hopes are that my sons will learn to live better lifestyles through this process too.
Now I wait to hear if I will be approved. If I am approved I guess I'd be looking at surgery in February or early March.
Getting started
Dec 11, 2010
I have so many thoughts running around in my head about WLS so I decided to try to blog about them to allow me to have a record of my journey to look back on in months to come.
First, I haven't taken the decision to pursue this surgery lightly. I wrote down reasons to have this surgery in a Word document file and it went past 3 pages. Some of these include; wanting to regain my health, being able to experience things like sitting in chairs without feeling like I'm going to break them or they aren't big enough for me to fit, not having people look at me with pity because of my size, not being the biggest person in the room, being able to do things with my kids that others take for granted. This is a partial list and I keep adding to it daily. But at the top of my list is the hope of having improvement enough that diabetes isn't taking my life away from me slowly, anyway.
Do I have fears about this surgery? You bet I do! Just today as I shared with my kind and understanding sister about my surgery she wanted to tell me 2 horror stories of what terrible things had happened to other people she knew about. I have only told 10 people about this surgery and so far most people are understanding and supportive, but it is the ones you expect to support you, that have been negative about it. With my own doubts, I don't want to spend my time and energy defending my reasons to people that aren't supportive. I'm sure my sister was just looking out for my best interest and doesn't want anything bad to happen to me. I have done a lot of reading about this surgery, and have read many people's stories. One thing I have noticed is even though people don't have smooth sailing with their procedures, most say they'd do it again.
I started this journey as a support to my brother because he was looking into having this surgery. I didn't think it was even a possibility for me because of insurance coverage and the expense of out of pocket payments. (We have a son in college and another one to pay for college in a few years too.) But come to find out, it is covered since we have BCBS of Iowa. (BCBS of Kansas doesn't cover it for my brother.) So he has decided to drop the idea because of his own reasons also.
Through part of this process, I have to lose 30 lbs. prior to my surgeon's approval for me to have this surgery. I'm on my way with a loss of 10 lbs. so far. Early on I gave up my love---diet Dr. Pepper. With it went the caffeine that I thought I needed so badly. I did have slight headaches but it was not as bad as I had anticipated. Since then I have changed to decaf coffee and I truly don't miss the headaches I used to have when I didn't get my daily caffeine "fix". A realization I had was when I had Dr. Pepper I didn't just drink it solo. It was followed with some sweet or salty thing. That is one habit I don't mind getting rid of.
With the support of my Healthy Solutions Class that I lovingly refer to as "fat camp", I have learned to be more aware of my fluid intake, carbs, PA (physical activity) and protein. It really sounds easy doesn't it? Get 60-80 grams of protein daily, and then you can have as many fruits and veggies that your little heart desires. If my little heart desired fruits and veggies I wouldn't be this size to begin with. I have strived to work on environmental control of what food is in our house and what stays out. So many of these things have helped. Exercising doesn't thrill me but I feel so good when I finish so I try to get my 30 minutes done early in the day. I have a great husband and 2 kids and they have been so supportive and they will walk, play Wii Fit and swim with me if I ask and it works into their schedule.
What do I know I will struggle with the most? Well carbs and I have a love/hate relationship. I love them--their taste, their appeal, their smell, their comfort, their .. their.......well you get it. I have found they hate me by giving me headaches when I overdo them, they hang around my belly, my hips, my neck, my arms, and even make my feet and hands chubby too. They give me heartburn at night. They call to me as I drive past fast food restaurants, in grocery stores and at social events. They are my biggest nemesis.
I wasn't a fat child. My story is that my weight started piling on when I had kids. Well my oldest "kid" is almost 20 so it is time to lose the baby fat. I also had a job that was the height of stress, I ate food that was high in starch and calories from the cafeteria, and I ate because I was sad, happy, angry, bored, tired, lonely and all the above. It has been an eye opener to me but as I have been exercising and connecting my mind and body, it has brought up emotions that I have had to deal with. I think sometimes we eat and don't even think about how much we put in our mouths. I have eaten things at times and looked down to take another bite and realized, wow, I already ate that and didn't even know it. So part of my process is having to take a hard cold look at myself and get connected with my body again. That has been a "wow moment" for me. Didn't even realize I had been doing this.
Sparks people website has been one I use to document my food journaling. I love how easy it is to post to on my ipad and has helped me see that I take in most of my calories late in the day when I am sitting watching TV. I have also realized that when I eat a breakfast with protein, I don't eat as much at night.
One of my biggest regrets about being "the fat mom" is I have passed on my unhealthy habits to my sons. This makes my heart ACHE. My sons are my life and my poor poor habits have become their habits too. I would do anything to undo these habits to pass on to my kids the knowledge to keep them from this life of misery and unhealthiness. My biggest fear is that I will have this surgery, lose the weight and then put it back on. I have so much to think about, to change and improve.
But I can only look ahead to a better future, forming new and better habits and living each day to become a healthier person. I am thankful I have the family that I have to support me in my journey because it would be hard to do this alone.
0 comments
First, I haven't taken the decision to pursue this surgery lightly. I wrote down reasons to have this surgery in a Word document file and it went past 3 pages. Some of these include; wanting to regain my health, being able to experience things like sitting in chairs without feeling like I'm going to break them or they aren't big enough for me to fit, not having people look at me with pity because of my size, not being the biggest person in the room, being able to do things with my kids that others take for granted. This is a partial list and I keep adding to it daily. But at the top of my list is the hope of having improvement enough that diabetes isn't taking my life away from me slowly, anyway.
Do I have fears about this surgery? You bet I do! Just today as I shared with my kind and understanding sister about my surgery she wanted to tell me 2 horror stories of what terrible things had happened to other people she knew about. I have only told 10 people about this surgery and so far most people are understanding and supportive, but it is the ones you expect to support you, that have been negative about it. With my own doubts, I don't want to spend my time and energy defending my reasons to people that aren't supportive. I'm sure my sister was just looking out for my best interest and doesn't want anything bad to happen to me. I have done a lot of reading about this surgery, and have read many people's stories. One thing I have noticed is even though people don't have smooth sailing with their procedures, most say they'd do it again.
I started this journey as a support to my brother because he was looking into having this surgery. I didn't think it was even a possibility for me because of insurance coverage and the expense of out of pocket payments. (We have a son in college and another one to pay for college in a few years too.) But come to find out, it is covered since we have BCBS of Iowa. (BCBS of Kansas doesn't cover it for my brother.) So he has decided to drop the idea because of his own reasons also.
Through part of this process, I have to lose 30 lbs. prior to my surgeon's approval for me to have this surgery. I'm on my way with a loss of 10 lbs. so far. Early on I gave up my love---diet Dr. Pepper. With it went the caffeine that I thought I needed so badly. I did have slight headaches but it was not as bad as I had anticipated. Since then I have changed to decaf coffee and I truly don't miss the headaches I used to have when I didn't get my daily caffeine "fix". A realization I had was when I had Dr. Pepper I didn't just drink it solo. It was followed with some sweet or salty thing. That is one habit I don't mind getting rid of.
With the support of my Healthy Solutions Class that I lovingly refer to as "fat camp", I have learned to be more aware of my fluid intake, carbs, PA (physical activity) and protein. It really sounds easy doesn't it? Get 60-80 grams of protein daily, and then you can have as many fruits and veggies that your little heart desires. If my little heart desired fruits and veggies I wouldn't be this size to begin with. I have strived to work on environmental control of what food is in our house and what stays out. So many of these things have helped. Exercising doesn't thrill me but I feel so good when I finish so I try to get my 30 minutes done early in the day. I have a great husband and 2 kids and they have been so supportive and they will walk, play Wii Fit and swim with me if I ask and it works into their schedule.
What do I know I will struggle with the most? Well carbs and I have a love/hate relationship. I love them--their taste, their appeal, their smell, their comfort, their .. their.......well you get it. I have found they hate me by giving me headaches when I overdo them, they hang around my belly, my hips, my neck, my arms, and even make my feet and hands chubby too. They give me heartburn at night. They call to me as I drive past fast food restaurants, in grocery stores and at social events. They are my biggest nemesis.
I wasn't a fat child. My story is that my weight started piling on when I had kids. Well my oldest "kid" is almost 20 so it is time to lose the baby fat. I also had a job that was the height of stress, I ate food that was high in starch and calories from the cafeteria, and I ate because I was sad, happy, angry, bored, tired, lonely and all the above. It has been an eye opener to me but as I have been exercising and connecting my mind and body, it has brought up emotions that I have had to deal with. I think sometimes we eat and don't even think about how much we put in our mouths. I have eaten things at times and looked down to take another bite and realized, wow, I already ate that and didn't even know it. So part of my process is having to take a hard cold look at myself and get connected with my body again. That has been a "wow moment" for me. Didn't even realize I had been doing this.
Sparks people website has been one I use to document my food journaling. I love how easy it is to post to on my ipad and has helped me see that I take in most of my calories late in the day when I am sitting watching TV. I have also realized that when I eat a breakfast with protein, I don't eat as much at night.
One of my biggest regrets about being "the fat mom" is I have passed on my unhealthy habits to my sons. This makes my heart ACHE. My sons are my life and my poor poor habits have become their habits too. I would do anything to undo these habits to pass on to my kids the knowledge to keep them from this life of misery and unhealthiness. My biggest fear is that I will have this surgery, lose the weight and then put it back on. I have so much to think about, to change and improve.
But I can only look ahead to a better future, forming new and better habits and living each day to become a healthier person. I am thankful I have the family that I have to support me in my journey because it would be hard to do this alone.
