kahlana

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I have been thinking a lot about what I want to get out of having weight loss surgery and I have come up with a list of goals to shoot for.
1.) Being fit enough to run around a mountain side elk hunting with my dad and brothers AND carry my own gear!
2.) Being fit enough to carry my own gear while deer hunting with my sweet babboo
3.) Being able to keep up with my kiddo who is in Navy boot camp
4.) Getting rid of my inhalers and other asthma meds
5.) Being able to do an entire Tae Bo work out with out having to stop 5 minutes in
6.) Learning to belly dance and having a belly to show off doing it!
7.) Sleeping all night long with out waking up from cramps or not being able to breathe while on my stomach
8.) No more naps when I get home from work because I am too tired to even think about dinner until I get some sleep
9.) No more always feeling hungry even when I just ate
10) Learning and living healthy habits

I suppose a person who isn't dealing with weight issues might think I am a little creepy staring at other people's before and after pictures and reading their blogs. But I want to know what I am in for. I am hoping and praying that by posting my journey here that someday someone else will be "creepin'" on my before and after pictures and reading this message. Right now I want to let anyone reading this know something, don't feel like you are being creepy. Learn everything you can from those of us that have and are going before you. Stare at the after pics and imagine yourself standing in one leg of the pants you are wearing today. Read our blogs and feel free to comment (on mine anyway I dont know about everyone else's). Use whatever tips and tricks we post to help you every step of the way. I know that i havent had my surgeryyet. Heck i am just in the ":my doc mentioned it once what is it all about" phase at this point but I have made up my mind... i am getting this done. Somehow someway I am taking back my life.
Some of the things i am doing to prep for the day I actually get to have the surgery:
1.) Reading about and researching all of the surgeries even though I am set on having the DS.
2.) Reading as many blogs as I can find not just about those who had the DS (although those are favorites at the moment) but any about weight loss surgery.
3.) Printing off as much info as i can to take with me to my next appointment with my doc so I can show her i am not being passive about this.
4.) Cutting down my coffee addiction until I am down to 1 cup a day
5.) Quitting smoking.
6.) Journalling my food and activities (going to need to do this at some point for the nut I suppose so  might as well start now)
7.) Learning about vitamins and mineral supplements and the labs and how to read them.
8.) Making a list of all the things i want to do but can't because I'm overweight. it's my new bucket list :D
9.) Starting my own blog here that will hopefully help someone else (maybe you) in their journey to the new them
10.) Making a list of things I can do RIGHT NOW on my own to get ready for surgery so that if when I do get approved I wont be rushing to catch up.
I love to have a step by step plan. I function better with a step by step plan. I am a worrier but i figure this is a good thing to be worrying about and besides it may make things easier when it comes to getting approval from everyone who needs to sign off on this if I am showing some initiative and doing what i can on my own.

to get ink for the printer. So much I need to print off so I can take it to the doctor's with me on the 29th. It just seems like it would be easier to print this stuff out than to write it out by hand lol. I am glad though that I can say i have done some research on the lap band idea and nix that in the bud before she starts looking to get me hooked up with that. I am definitely going to fight for the DS since that one seems to have the least complications post-op.  And I also have an appointment in May now with the GI. Need to reember to write stuff down for him as well.

So yesterday I was talking with my boss and a couple of the other ladies at work. These ladies also are considered "obese" by medical standards. I mentioned that my doc had recommended weight loss surgery since none of the diets have worked for me long term. All of them said all at the same time "But you arent that big!!"  I am thinking "But I wear a size 18/20, weigh in at 227, can't walk the mile to work anymore, cant haul my own gear while hunting or fishing without coming close to collapsing." I have been spending a serious amount of time teaching myself how to dress my plus-sized self.  (Yes I am blogging about that as well and it's here: danismakeover.blogspot.com)  All this time I fell like an alien in this body. This is NOT me, not my body, not who I am. Why do I have to be bigger to have the surgery? Shouldn't my quality of life be considerd as well? Shouldn't my medical problems be considered? Even the lady i know that has had a weight loss surgery said the same thing, "you aren't that big" I am big for me. I am miserable in this body. I'm carrying around 100 pounds of extra me. That's nearly a whole other person. The point is that I have been on this amazing spiritual journey and learning so much about myself and who I am that being in this over-sized body is seriously like wearing a spacesuit on a subway. Maybe when they compare me to their own bodies I am not that big. And that stupid phrase "wearing my weight well" comes to mind too. But for me, having weight loss surgery isnt so much about how I am going to look to other people but how I am going to feel living in my body. I want to feel like my body is a good home for me. Being a "hottie with a smokin' body" is definitely on my list of reasons why I want this, but it is not my number 1 reason. I just want to be able to go and do the things I love doing again. Anyway, there's my lil rant for the day.

And apparently it's one of those days. I started all up... researching and reading, having a terrific comvo with my partner about my surgery options and what I had found out. Then he and she began their issues again. Over something stupid. Something she shouldn't even be considering. But she was and we HAD to have a discussion with her. And while she technically didn't lie she also didn't tell the whole truth and now he's mad. VERY mad. To the point of talking about kicking her out. She's only a kid still yes technically an adult but still a kid. I feel like if he gives up on her now though something very very bad will happen to her. She will turn to her father and that would be the end of my relationship with her. So I suppose it will complete the circle then. My oldest is in the Navy and I rarely get to talk with her now. My son is off in Nebraska and I also rarely talk to him. And now her with what she is doing. I simply do not know what to do to help these two heal. I have tried to intervene. I have tried to help them both see each other's side of things but I am feeling overwhelmed by them both now. I love them both. They both love me but they don't love each other and I don't know if they ever will.

So I haven't been on the forums for very long and I only began thinking about weight loss surgery as an option for myself in the last 3 weeks but i am learning so much so fast. Already I have found what my insurance (Badger Care) requires for approval. And happily I SHOULD be able to meet those requirements. My family doc is on board with idea since she was the one who suggested wls  in the first place. There is a surgeon that does the procedure I am leaning towards (DS) just across the street from my home. I have also learned that I will have a combination of 6 months to do of supervised activity and nutrition before the insurance will approve the surgery. I have a list of documentation needed for the insurance company and I am fairly certain I can get all of my medical records from my previous doctors in the meantime. I know what forms to ask for and what codes to check on. I know what questions to ask. And yes I plan to print everything out and take it all with me when I go see my doc again at the end of the month. I'd like to show her I am ready for this mentally as well as medically. At least I hope I am.