Never!!!

Jul 27, 2009

My nerves are getting worse as each day passes. I have 17 days until surgery and only 4 more days until my liquid diet. its all becoming very real to me now. 
I know everyone has those certain people they want to prove their worth to. Someone who thinks they will fail this time too. I didn't really have a list like this until now.
First and only on my list so far is my supervisor. Its really sad but she thinks of me as grotesque. I know it isn't provable but I can tell by the way she looks at me and treats me. I'm not alone, which is good, she dislikes my co worker too. I can tell she thinks I will fail, that this is a waste of work time. Personally I can't wait to be away from here for awhile and I'm going to take off as much time as I can.
We have a complicated system around here. We have collection development which consists of two people who have the same supervisor as us, technical services. Technical services consists of two really cool people, 1 person who is fine, and then one horrid person who gets everything she wants because she whines and tattles like a 3 year old. Well our supervisor took collection development plus one to lunch. The plus one was the whiny brat from back here. It just seems inappropriate to me that she would take someone from tech services but not at least invite everyone. How odd that these three people are the only ones here that have our supervisor's cell phone number. The supervisor for the circ staff is awesome but she was accussed of playing favorites by my supervisor, even though she invites everyone when they plan lunches out or in. Sounds like someone was trying to point fingers so someone else would be the focus of management.  It has gotten really bad here, this just scrapes the surface. It is really hard to come to work when you know your supervisor is disgusted by you. I have nothing to prove to her, but she's on my list.
I guess it all really started for me when we had a meeting saying no cell phones, that people were spending too much time on their cell phones. She also said no visitors unless we were on lunch or break becuase it was distracting. This was after my bf and my daughter came to visit me for a few minutes. If they want it that way, fine, I understand and I will comply. But lo and behold everyone else's kids, including my supervisors, were still coming in and hanging around all day. I took it very personally. What was wrong with my daughter? That she was born out of wedlock? Then recently whiny brats phone has been going off 5-6 times a day. A comment was made and she ran to the supervisor and came back and told us, that she works hard and she's allowed to have phone calls. I guess the rest of us don't work hard? We are still not supposed to get personal phone calls, but the brat can get them all day long. The stories go on and on and on. It is ridiculous.
Otherwise I am just counting the days until I start my liquid diet. I have lost some weight, I sat in my camp chair last night and fit better than ever, I didn't feel like I was bending the frame. I didn't weigh this sunday because water weight from my time of the month.
I go for my pre op testing on Friday.

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