3 more classes to go!

May 13, 2010

I have 3 more classes out of 24 to go through Kaiser San Diego.  Since we have a holiday on 31st that means 4 more weeks.  I have 15 more pounds to lose before I reach my 10% weightloss goal that Kaiser wants.  If this is not done then I meet with Dr. Ray but I think that will go OK because I will show him how I got up to 309 and I am down currently to 280. 
Now about my current weirghtloss.  I started out baby steps, I have a long ways to go to get in the habit I need to live but I also have come a long way. I started by just subsituting my morning meal with a protein shake, then I started journally everything I ate on dailyplate.com, after a few weeks my goal was to stay in the 1500 cal range.  Then I saw a old friend that lost 100 pounds through the take shape for life program and I realized something needs to happen here because I still had 30 pounds to lose before surgery in order to meet my 10% goal for Kaiser.  I really do not want to be delayed by that extra visit to Dr Ray before getting cleared to do the blood work and ultrasound on gallbadder. 
I started the program and I realized wow I have a lot of emotional and mental work to do with my love of food.  I have gone through the morning process but to relearn to eat the way I do now is a big eye opener.  I know this is the way it will have to be after surgery and I got to thank GOD for giving me the will to prepare myself presurgery.  I really think it would be so much tougher to go through this process of not being able to eat whatever I want if I was forced my surgery.  I have been reading the 12step program book through OA, reading this site and also reading community board on take shape for life.  I think the biggest help has come from my personal coach, soke, and pastor scot conway.  He has really directed me to start thinking about what I am thinking.  I have heard that for years but now I get it.
why I chose this eating plan over the others is because it keeps me in a box and that is what I need.  I eat small meals that they provide and yes I fight hard about why this was unhealthy but it works.  It keeps me eating every 2-3 hours and that helps me just get through the day.  I know I can go a little longer because the most I have to wait is for 2 hours.  I also have learn what it means to eat very very slow and enjoy it because it is gone in about 2 min if I dont and I have to wait for the next meal.  I also think now that this is not short term.  I HAVE TO CHANGE MY IDEA ON WHAT NORMAL EATING IS.  I always use to get upset because I could not eat normal again but I had a good friend tell me you got to change what normal is now to you.
well now it is just the waiting period for the process of finishing up with Kaiser so I can get to Pacific Bariatric.

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