darqueangel27
I find talking about yourself difficult, especially when you don't have the self-esteem to feel you are worthy enough as it is, but I will give it my best.
Hi! I'm Becca. I'm 40 years old. I’ve been married for nearly 12 years now. We have two daughters together: ages 10 and 11. I have a third daughter by a previous marriage who is 21 years old. Currently, I weigh 299lbs and I've lost 26 lbs thus far prior to seeking alternative means for assistance with weight loss. It has taken me many years to lose this amount of weight and I’ve fluctuated up and down between 295-310 lbs incessantly. I’m afraid for my health and I’m afraid of dying before my youngest daughter is in any position for me to die. You see, my youngest daughter is severely autistic. She’s just now obtaining some verbalizations of speech, and she has very little daily living skills. My health is not terrible, but it’s not great either. I have high blood pressure that’s controlled with medications. I suffer from bipolar disorder and anxiety disorder that is argued to be exacerbated by my weight. I have severe sleep apnea. All these things are not good for me, and I know it.
I am pre-op; scheduled to have my RNY surgery on Dec 17th, 2015. I've heard everything from my family from "you look great as you are" to "this surgery scares me to death" to my personal favorite: "you're not fat, why are you doing this?" I'm unhealthy and I realize this. I have realized this for years, but I never have known how to change it. I tired every diet fad out there up to and including pills to boost your metabolism. (You guys know what I'm talking about!) I simply cannot lose weight. I would lose 10 or 15 lbs and then regain 20 or 30 lbs in the long run. The yo-yo effect kills my morale and ultimately sends me back to my old ways.
The decision to have the RNY surgery didn't come lightly. Truthfully, I battled the idea for over 6 years. I was scared to do it and my family's reassurance of looking great as I was kept me from doing it. What brought me to do, you may be asking? My father died of a heart attack at the age of 33. When I surpassed his age, I thought I was infallible. That was until my mother had to have an emergency double bypass heart surgery last November. It was at that time I took it as a huge sign that I needed to change the way I was doing things and that I was indeed unhealthy in my current weight. I sought out an information session and even then thought, 'there's no way I can do this!' So I kept the information, but decided to hold off at the time. I wanted to lose the weight the old fashion way and changed my eating habits, got rid of my soda and broke my addiction to that, and begin doing Zumba at the local Y and walking. I was in so much pain after 1 episode of Zumba that I would cry in the locker room and it would take me weeks to get the courage to go back. I went back and went through the same process three different times and decided that I couldn't do this. I was too fat! I couldn't walk cause of the back and hip pain. Then this past June, on my 40th birthday, I had the proverbial lightbulb come on. I was in such pain from the arthritis in my joints as a result of my excessive weight and I needed a nap, I missed out on my own birthday celebration. Enough was enough.
So here we are, 5 months later. The day after my birthday, I called the surgeon's office whose information session I went to and scheduled a visit with a surgeon. I spoke of my journey. He listened to me and we discussed many different options. I am committed to this journey and am happy for my decision. I'm anxiously awaiting my surgery date and looking forward to a new me, so to speak. I know it won't be an easy journey, but I know I am committed and ready!
About Me
Before & After
rollover to see after photo
