cindywebb1667
To The Real ME Inside: February 16, 2007
I have been significantly overweight most of my adult life and on and off as a child. I started as a skinny child and then blossomed into an overweight pre-teen. From there my weight yo-yoed up and down with an average weight of 160 but as high as 199 and as low as 130. After three children and a hysterectomy at the age of 34 my weight steadily climbed and for 10 years hovered between 230 and 260. In the last six years my weight has climbed to 312 pounds – my current weight.
As a yo yo dieter my life was changed every time my weight changed significantly. I went through bouts of depression over being fat, starving myself because I couldn’t trust myself to stop eating and then overeating as a result. I ended up hating myself emotionally and suffering panic attacks relating to fears for my health.
Over the last 30 years I’ve tried just about every diet there is, however none of them lasted long enough to affect a lifelong eating habit change. The most I ever lost was 50 pounds and, as you can see above, gained it all and more back.
Among the many fad diets like the grapefruit diet, Atkins, bananas and milk, all liquid, etc, I’ve tried more acceptable weight loss regimens like:
· Weight Watchers (I was the most successful on this one)
· Jenny Craig (twice)
· Slim Fast
· 1200 calories a day
· Regular workouts on a stationary bike and treadmill at a health club
· Physical Therapy
· Low Fat Diets
· Over the counter diet pills and diet foods
· At home exercise program on stationary bike, other exercise equipment and videos
I’ve also tried physician assisted diets with medication to help. Unfortunately….
NOTHING WORKED LONG TERM !
At 312 pounds my life has drastically changed. My life is painful and difficult.
· I cannot walk any distance due to knee pain and lower back pain · I cannot walk up a flight of stairs without being extremely out of breath · I cannot use my exercise equipment · My heart pounds and I can’t catch my breath when doing simple activities · I have become more and more sedentary due to the pain · I need some kind of pain medication every day (ibuprofen-tylenol-advil) · I have a variety of health issues from bladder problems to foot problems · I have health issues like panic attacks, high cholesterol, high blood pressure, thyroid disease and chronic bronchitis aggravated by the number of colds I get due to poor health. · I hate myself for not being able to control my eating and believe me I’ve tried! · I can’t sleep and I get sick often because of lack of sleep I am at the best part of my life and although happy with my life, I am depressed that I can’t live it to the fullest. I am a young grandmother, 50 years old, involved with my grandchildren, working full time, operating a home based business and involved with an organization called Children with Diabetes. These four things are the cornerstones of my life and every day I am able to do less and less of the things that make my life worthwhile due to my extreme obesity.
I am ready to change my life forever. I am ready to take on the challenge of weight loss and a healthier life style. I have everything to live for, but my weight is making it harder and harder to do it. I am committed to this weight loss fight, but as a realist I know I cannot do it without help. I’ve tried weight loss programs, I’ve tried fad diets, I’ve tried drugs and health clubs and not eating at all. I know now I need something drastic to turn off this eating disorder and I believe it to be Lap Band Surgery.
I believe that with a smaller stomach, my commitment to weight loss, as evidence by going through something drastic like surgery, and the cornerstones of my life (my support system), I will finally be successful and be able to live a healthier, happier life.
My plan is to half the Lap Band Surgery, use Weight Watchers online to assist with better eating habits and, as my weight (and pain) goes down, go back to a regular exercise program.
Wish me Luck on my Journey.....
Cindy
