ShaunaBinks

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I have been traveling for work alot. i had about 5 weeks of work travel in a row and that really threw off my eating. i still ate low carb but i just didnt feel as in control as i do when i am at home. The scale wasnt moving and i was getting frustrated.  So i gave up weighing.  I reminded myself that this is a journey , its not over and i am still working it and will be for however many years i have left on this earth.

i did see my psychiatrist this week. They always weigh me. I havent seen her since she signed off on my surgery. Her nurse came in and out and in and out , looking at the computer and then she finally says " did  you lose 30lbs since we last saw you?"  I could happily reply YES. you see- i didnt know it was 30. I stopped weighing at 24lbs lost!  guess what ? I STILL didnt go home and weigh. As am putting on clothes, i am having to move them to a diff part of my  closet- the give away pile or i have been saying hmmmm another couple wears of this and then i am going to have to give these up and replace with a smaller size.

My biggest NSV was this weekend. My daughter and i were playing a game, then took our new puppy out, and stayed outside playing outside together for a long time.  THIS IS HUGE for me for a couple of reasons- i hate the heat and it was 3000 % humitidty , but was able to acclimate fairly quickly and didnt sweat the whole time AND i had those little nylon running shorts on. I dont wear shorts. I dont like my body in them, but i was comfortable in my skin, i was enjoying playing with my daughter and puppy, i was comfortable outside.  These are the reasons i had the surgery. I wanted to be able to do all these things.    Yes, i think my loss is slower than most. I think my biggest issue may be the transit time of food through my instestines- its days.. I still suffer terrible constipation, do i dont actally think ( and no, i am not a doctor, ) but my theory is that i dont get the malabsorptive benefit. If its sitting there, yes, its prob. my large intestine vs. small but if its just sitting there, it is probably being absorbed. Dont know, dont care (well i kinda do)  Just have to be vigilant about my intake, my water, poop schedule and ramp up my exercise. 

Just happy to be comfortable in my body, to be in a great headspace, and grateful to have had this surgery, b/c it has set me on the right path to lasting wellness.

I cant believe that it is only  7 weeks post op.  I must be counting wrong.  But every time i go back to the calendar i come up with 7. 7 weeks. Not sure i have ever lost 21 lbs in 7 weeks before. Maybe on ww i was losing 3 lbs a week, but i never usually went past 4 or 6 weeks. 

I feel like the weight loss is slow.  My doctor and nurse say its just fine.  3lbs a week will be around 78lbs in 6 months.  I think i can handle that. More imporantly, i think my BODY can handle that.  Coming off at an okay pace should help  sustain the long term weight loss.

I may not be overly thrilled about the weight loss but my Non Scale Victories are off the Charts.

Lets take a look

1. I FEEL fantastic. Emotionally and physically. That wretched fatigue is gone- the 3pm i needanaprightthissecond has moved to Saturday afternoon- I better take a nap (some times 2 hours!)
2. I feel like i take up less space in the world.  I sit on an airplane seat and my booty doesnt touch both arm rests, the tray table is away from my belly, my belt has some room on it. 
3. Clothes. I am wearing smaller sizes. down from 18 to 16 and some regular Large tops not jsut XL. Put on a bra today that i havent worn in 3 years. 
4. Photos- i am allowing people to take photos of me again.  pls note- i am not that much smaller but i no longer loathe myself.  I have been working on loving kindness towards myself for the past 8 months and i really feel like i like myself more
5. I am saying YES again! Yes to vacations, to girls nights, to field day at my daughter's school, to evenings out. I am going out again, without angst, without looking in the mirror and having that battle of " i look awful" 
6.  I am aware of everything i put in my mouth. I am more mindful.  I know that if i go off plan, its not over and i do not have to do a death spiral into convincing myself i am sabotaging everything, i just move on. I allow myself a forkful of a cake on a special occasion. some how, a fork full does it for me, bc i know there will be fork fulls at different times in my life. 
7. My brain is clearer.  I am more focused at work. The protein and healthy fats are helping my brain cells. The lower carb lifestyle is helping me with level energy throughout the day.
8. my nurse case manager things i am not eating enough. HA HA HA . first time in my life anyone has told me that.

This surgery is bigger than just the weight loss. Coupled with therapy, recovery work, reading, meditating, praying, my whole being has turned around. I am filled with joy and hope and excitment again.