I guess life moves ever on

Mar 10, 2010

Its been 5 days since my dad died. Five long days since we lifted him up to see if he was ok and I saw my dad in a way I never wanted to see him. My dad had heart disease and diabetes from a lifetime of smoking, drinking, and being overweight. Well after he got out of the military he put on the weight. He was one of my biggest supporters of this surgery, he wanted me to be healthy so I didn't have to go through the pain he was going through.
We thought we'd have him forever, he had already lived 6 years longer than he was supposed to. Every week he would ask me how much I had lost, how I was doing. Why didn't I sit and talk longer? Why didn't I hug him more, tell him i loved him more, pay more attention to him?
I miss him so much, my heart is breaking, it has given me new resolve to take this weight off and at the same time I am wanting to eat more and more, food was always my comfort and  I am fighting it hand and foot, but the feelings are there all the same.
This is my first death experience when it comes to a close family member. When my boyfriend's mom was murdered it was hard, but not like this, I was more hurt for him than myself.
I want to leave with these words, I can't write anything else right now, don't take anyone forgranted. Tell them EVERYDAY!!! that you love them. Never believe that they will be there tomorrow to say everything you need to say.
I titled this the way I did because when I fell apart at the funeral was when I saw my dad's watch was still ticking, he was gone but his watch still showed the time passing.

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