How do you manage staying on program after a huge stress?

kaniky
on 1/23/16 8:14 am
RNY on 05/18/15

The reality of my new life is kind of setting in. On Tuesday I was laid off from the law firm I have worked at for 19 1/2 years. I thought I was being called into HR for my annual review. After I sat down she told me the firm was cutting back in several departments and that I was being let go. This HR person has only been with the firm for a year and barely knows me. I started at the firm when daughter was 6 months old and she'll be 20 next week. I burst out crying. I was so stunned I could barely speak let alone think straight. I'm 48 and I honestly thought I would retire from the firm. I asked her when would be my last day and she told me her assistant would walk me back to my desk and I would have five minutes to gather up my belongings and whatever I couldn't get they would box up and mail to me. Her assistant, who is a friend of mine, walked me back and watched me. I had been working on a document and was going to get out of it to pass off to someone else and they had already locked me out of my computer. It was such a humiliating experience. I was treated so cold after being there for almost 20 years. I get that's what "big business" does but I deserved better. The poor assistant was crying while I was packing. I didn't get to say goodby to anyone other than the two ladies who work in my cubbie area. I was walked to the elevator and given a voucher for a cab to get to my car. It is so sad because I absolutely loved my job and the people I worked with.
I sobbed the whole way home. I just kept apologizing to my husband who was gone flying. I found out the next day that 7 of us were let go. Two other ladies had almost 30 years in with the firm. I have filed for unemployment and will start a job hunting on Monday or Tuesday. I'm thinking I no longer want to work in the legal field. I'm trying to find peace with what has happened and to try to get out of the way to listen to what God would like me to do.
I haven't needed a resume since 1992. I need to get started on creating something new. I'm going to call the Texas Workforce Commission on Monday to set up a meeting to get some help because I don't know where to begin a job search.
I have noticed there are lots of court shows on TV during the day. Maybe I can substitute for Judge Judy if she ever gets tired of dispensing justice.

I've done really well with my weight loss journey and I don't want to derail things now. I'm really afraid that since I'm home all day that I'll be more tempted to graze or make poor decisions to comfort myself. Any words of wisdom out there? Thanks! 

 

I never said it would be easy. I said it would be worth it.
M1: -15, M2: -14, M3: -8, M4 -11, M5 -8, M6 -7, M7 -8, M8 -4

 

robinreinhardt
on 1/23/16 10:07 am

Kaniky,

I am so sorry for you. I will totally keep you in my thoughts. I am just now done with my weight loss and I fear the same. What do we do to make it through the stresses of life. Hang in there and stay strong in your journey. You have done so well.

Robin

White Dove
on 1/23/16 11:36 am - Warren, OH

I had a friend who was called at home on a Friday evening.  They informed her that she was being eliminated after close to 30 years.  The person who called her said that she was so glad that she answered that evening, because Monday was a paid holiday and they would have had to pay her for Monday if they did not notify her until Tuesday.

Another lady at the same company had worked midnight shift and was leaving at 8:00 AM.  Her supervisor had just arrived when she left.  He ran all the way out to the parking lot after her to tell her she was terminated.

The people who fire others are brutal and most are given classes in how to do it effectively.  The truth is that it is nothing personal, it is just business.   They watch to make sure you don't steal anything or sabotage them on the way out.  The process includes turning off computer access and locking down entry badges.

When one door closes another opens.  Get all the help you can.  If your computer skills are not up-to-date take some classes.  There is an excellent site called Lynda.com. You might want to take a Word, Excel or Office class.  They have great classes on creating and presenting a resume.  If you are not already a member join LinkedIn.  Join and browse sites like monster.com.

Think about what you want to do.  What are your desires and dreams?  This is the change to see if you want to do something completely different but what you have dreamed about.

When I do a job hunt, I consider that my job.  I set aside hours for resume writing, interviewing and for job searches.  My job-hunt day is as tightly scheduled as any working day.  if staying in the house is depressing, take your laptop and sit at the library, a mall, or the park if the weather permits.

Life is always going to have stresses.  Since my surgery, I have gone through my husband's cancer and death.  I have lost and started jobs.  I have sold a home and purchased another one.  I went through a breakup of a relationship, and a painful recovery from an accident and back surgery. 

I never let those things sabotage my surgery.  They are part of life.  Taking care of your health is going to be more important than ever. 

Real life begins where your comfort zone ends

MonaLisaSmile
on 1/23/16 11:44 am - Canada

That's horrible and heartless of themq quite frankly.  I'm sure you must be still feeling blindsided.

 You know that letting this affect your journey will just make matters worse....so stay strong and believe in life there will always be those things you CAN'T control  ( like the job) but you ARE and CAN remain in control of your eating and the way you let the outside events affect your life.  Comfort yourself not with food but with thoughts that you are worthy and intelligent and have much to offer another employer.

They say for every for every door that closes, another opens.  Just maybe you were meant for something different.....  something better    

Take Care

  SW- 260    GW- 150    CW -138    Height - 5'5      RNY- St Josephs Hamilton July 17/2015  

peachpie
on 1/23/16 12:10 pm - Philadelphia, PA
RNY on 04/28/15

I'm sorry you were laid off. I'm in HR and thankfully I've never had to do this for a long term employee. I like that you have a plan in place, so while I know it's all shocking, I'm glad it's not consuming you.  Can you use your uunexpected sprare time to add some exercise? It would be a good way to work off some stress.

Being home is hard for me too, work keeps me regimented. Can you take your laptop to a coffee shop and work on looking for work from there? 

5'6.5" High weight:337 Lowest weight:193/31 BMI: Goal: 195-205/31-32 BMI

Maria27
on 1/23/16 12:55 pm - Chicago, IL
RNY on 03/17/15

I am so sorry for what happened. When I feel stressed or overwhelmed, it helps me to read a book. Doing something that gets my mind off of my problems for a little bit helps me deal with them more effectively. Plus I am too obsessive over my books to eat around them, so it also gets my mind off of eating. If reading is not your thing, maybe there is another activity that would do the same for you.

Height: 5'5" HW: 290 Consultation Weight: 276 SW: 257 CW: 132

Queen JB
on 1/23/16 12:59 pm
RNY on 07/20/15

Oh I am so sorry that happened. I was laid off exactly 6 days after returning to work from RNY. What a shock. But I can honestly say it has been the best thing to happen to me. I got four months to get unemployment, take some master's level classes and mostly just learn to focus on myself. I exercised like a fool and was 1000% focused on my health. I am back to work now, and love the new job, but miss the time I had to really take care of myself. I hope you will find the same situation and that your next adventure will be great! 

  • High Weight before LapBand: 200 (2008)
  • High Weight before RNY: 160 (2015)
  • Lowest post-op weight: 110 (2016)
  • Maintenance Weight: 120 (2017-2019)
  • Battling Regain Weight: 135 (current)

karenp8
on 1/23/16 2:33 pm - Brighton, IL

Sorry to hear about your job but I sure that there is an even better job for you in the near future. When I feel stressed,I exercise more to get all my frustrations out. I will be praying for that perfect job to come your way!

   

       

selhard
on 1/23/16 3:45 pm - MN
RNY on 11/26/12

I experienced a similar surprise situation and my "fight or flight" reaction kicked-in at academy-award-winning levels.  When I told my DH about it, he gleamed with pride.  I have not regretted a thing; that day is on the list as one of my fondest life memories.  

cpcampbell
on 1/23/16 6:05 pm, edited 1/23/16 10:04 am

You told my story...with one exception, my dateline was January 2015.  I truly understand just how you feel.  What I can tell you is to get connected with a support group and to talk about how you feel, don't pick it up and you will not eat it...and HOLD ON.  I am 8 years out and recently got back on track.  I picked up 20 pounds as a result of the stress, i.e., job loss, single parenting and just not knowing what to do, where to go and especially who to talk to...So many feelings of inadequacy, shame, guilt and just SHOCK...

Please know that you will be okay...It will be rough but you WILL survive.... My thoughts and prayers are with you. Keep talking about what's going on with you and how you feel.....STAY CONNECTED.

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