Friday

Good Morning OFF Family!

And I do not use the word 'family' lightly! I was so touched to see Vickie had done a special post for Yvonne & me, and to read your responses & FB posts.

I hope you all don't mind, but I need to tell you about my brother...

He was the youngest of us five kids/5 years younger than me. He had some kind of developmental delay that caused him to not begin talking until he was 2 or 3 & neighbor kids used to call him 'retard' bc of that & some other behaviors. I remember some professional coming to the house to help my mom w/him for awhile.

I don't know if he ever remembered this about himself as we never spoke of it & by the time he started school he was 'normal.' We had a typical sibling relationship as kids...he was my baby brother doing his thing as I did mine.

We began getting closer when I got my license at 16 & drove him places. We would talk & hang out. He was always around when I met my 1st husband...they were close for awhile as my ex taught him carpentry skills & treated him like a 'man.' He was 16 when Kelly was born & loved & spoiled her to death...just as he did with my other girls when they came along later. He was the fun uncle who played w/them, bought them toys & let them do stuff their parents wouldn't let them do. He was at my house as much as he was at home from the time he turned 16.

When my ex became violent he was the one I called for help & he would be at my house in a heartbeat to 'protect' me...a role he continued to sharpen as we grew older.

He graduated HS & got a job as a clerk at a drugstore & was promoted to manager by the time he was 20. Shortly after that he hired the girl he married a year later...they were both 21. He enlisted in the Army for 4 years after they married & then he returned to managing the drug store he had left.

His marriage was truly amazing...he & Tracey adored each other from day one and were inseparable. They did EVERYTHING together! They never settled into the complacency many married couples do...they always planned big & small surprises for each other, were so affectionate & laughed all the time. The boy w/the bumpy start & the girl who grew up in one of the poorest sections of PA...Trish is probably familiar with Marcus Hook... worked hard to build a life for their kids & themselves. He became a regional manager for a retail chain & needed to travel...she always used her personal & vacation time to go with him. By their mid-30's they had achieved a great deal of financial success...the half million dollar house, the nice cars, the boats, vacations, etc., but they remained the good ppl *****membered to treat others well. 

During the years he was having his family & building his career he always remained close to me & our sister. He always had time to come to my house post divorce to do any repairs that needed to be done bringing Tracey & his kids along.  He helped me out with my girls serving a their role model, he lent me his late model Camaro to give me a break from my old Ford Taurus & we spent every holiday, birthday & most local family vacations together with my parents, sister & her family.

Anytime I was having a hard time financially or emotionally he was there to help...he had a heart of gold!

When our dad became ill a breech occurred in the family in part due to his denial over how seriously ill our father was. We disagreed on how to handle things. Since our sister agreed with me he was 'outvoted' on how to proceed. I realize now why he walked away, but at the time with all the illness & other associated problems we were all angry. We had little contact for almost 6 years until he took our mother in when she became seriously ill. Then we began gradual re-contact in 2009.

We had been moving towards how things had been in our younger years these past several years, but a lot had changed. Last Christmas I felt like we were almost to a spot where we could sit down and talk about the breech so it was no longer between us. I wanted him to know how much I loved him, had missed our relationship those years and valued him as a brother. I put it off. Our next few get-togethers this year were so busy with a lot of ppl I never felt it was the right time, but looked forward to his daughter's Christmas party next month. He had teased me after my surgery asking me if I had gotton down to his weight yet, and I told him I never wanted to be THAT skinny. I wanted to show him next month I was only 50 pounds short of his weight, and I wanted him to say how proud he was of me....thus opening up the opportunity to discuss the breech and putting it to rest.

Now that chance is gone...

Anyhow, I don't know that this really captures who he was, and all of us have special relationships made up of the simple things that create deep bonds...I just needed to talk about him and I knew you all would understand. I think of Eileen's relationship w/her brother and it so reminds me of what we had, and even though we lost it for awhile it didn't change how I felt about him and all he did for me.

I do apologize for blubbering through this. I am grateful you all are here to listen though.

I will post more appropriately later.

My love to all..

 

Good Morning Kathy,

Again, I am so sorry for your loss. Your brother sounds a lot like my baby brother Neil, who we lost at the age of 40. 

My laptop crashed and I'm on my phone.

Will be in touch later  

love 

Trish 

 

 

Oh, Kathy, honey!  Your post is very appropriate.  I'm glad you could share with us.  And, yes, I know exactly how it feels to sit at the keyboard and cry as you type.  It's okay.  I'm glad for the chance to know your brother and the amazing man he was.  I don't know how to comfort you, except to say that God is in control.  He calls us home when the time is right.  Those of us left behind are truly left bewildered and hurting and sometimes angry.  I still experience all of those emotions over and over again, and I had months and months to accept the inevitable.  

You come here and talk all you want.  You can PM me if you need to vent your grief.  NOTHING you can say will shock me.  

Love you, sista!

Good morning sistas!

I am thankful to have awakened headache free today.  Didn't sleep all that well (woke up several times), but I feel okay today.  

I stopped taking my trazadone.  I don't really know if it's a side effect or not, but all of my joints have been aching like a BEE lately.  Everything hurts: ankles, knees, hips, hands, shoulders.  This is not at all the norm for me, except for my right shoulder where I have the bursitis.  I looked it up on-line, and it says that trazadone can cause "muscle/bone pain".  Not sure if that's quite the same thing as joint pain, but just in case.  I decided I would rather put up with not sleeping well rather than the joint pain.  So I dropped the pills.  We will give it a week or two and see if things improve.  

Today I am tackling my walk in closet, which has become a dumping zone.  And my bathroom, which has also acquired an appalling amount of flotsam and jetsam.  It's a big bathroom with double sinks.  I've been using the additional sink as a storage tank!  LOL!  Not really all that funny, but I have to clean it up.  Carrie is coming for the weekend and there's no place for her to set her stuff.  

Also Mom wants to go to the store today.  Guess we'll tackle that this morning.  (Have I mentioned that I hate going to the store with my mother?)

OMG!!!  I just looked up and a BIRD was flying around in my house!!!  I had left the back porch door ajar for the dogs to run in and out and somehow that bird found its way in here!  I went to get a broom to help persuade it to head back to the door and it flew out!  Thank you, Lord!  LOL!  What a morning.  The dogs were going crazy.

Well, I need to close and start my day.  So much going on today and I've got the boys to babysit tonight.  

Love you all!

Dear Vicki,

I think your joints ache because you are like the Energizer Bunny. You keep going and going. God bless.

Best of luck with the chores today. More work for you. Perhaps you can get back to your sewing soon.

I remember being annoyed when having to take my mom shopping when she was alive and we were younger. I lost her when I was 46 and she was one week away from being 84. What i wouldn't give to have one day with her to say hello. I miss her still and always will.

Love, dear Vicki. Try to take it easy.

 

With love,

Arlene

Words cannot convey my regrets on the loss of your brother. He was so young! I am so very sorry. So happy that you had great times together growing up and in most of your adulthood, and were trying to mend your relationship.

All I can do is pray for you and your family and that I will do.

My sister passed this last May. She had estranged herself from most of her family, she would communicate with us by calling, but I had not seen her in years and years. She did have surgery and died of a pulmonary embolism.

In the blink of an eye, life changes.

As dear Vicki stated, God wanted to call him home. I do believe we all have a time and day when HE will call us home.

May your family feel the love and hear the prayers from all of us.

 

God bless,

Arlene.

Sending love to all today. To Kathy, I am so sorry for your loss. To all that come to post today, take each day one day at a time. Live liffe to its fullest. Vicki, take it easy. Connie, hope you feel better. Judy, prayers for your mom. And prayers for your sanity because of what transpires in your apartment complex.

Everyone else, live live to the fullest and make each day count.

No change in my roomie situation. Big belly Ex still lays in bed most of the time waiting to die, I guess. How depressing. But I have my health back thanks to the surgery.

 

Everyone take care, take each day as it comes.

 

Have a great day,

Arlene

Good afternoon Kathy  and everyone....

Kathy...I too am so sorry about the loss of your brother. I think all has been forgiven. If not he wouldn't have come back to the family gatherings. If he felt the need to discuss it more he would have contacted you. We all say and do things at times in our lives that we really regret. We have to forgive ourselves. Almost more then forgiving them. He sounds like a wonderful man!!

Could you please PM me on Facebook with your address. Thank you Sunshine!!! 

I love you more then you know. My heart is breaking for you.

I am keeping you close to my heart. I can feel your tears. 

God Bless you my friend. Still sending prayers every day.

More LOVE and Bunches of HUGS to you....connie d

As for me..... I am doing okay. The pain has subsided some...oh what a good feeling that is. Still grieving but getting some work done on that too. Baby steps.

Thanks for caring about me. I love you all very much!

I am so sorry too for Yvonne and her loss. Yvonne could you PM me on Facebook with your address please. Special love, prayers and hugs to you!  

Vickie....keep one foot in front of the other. Slowly things will get better for you. Not gone but better. Sorry for your body pain.

Judy...still keeping you and your family in my prayers.  

Eileen....thanks for the encouragement. I am so sorry you are in such pain. I pray it gets better soon.

Trish...Arlene...Mary...Cindi....Cindy and others...my mind is going blank again. You know how much I care about and love each of you!! 

Prayers for our amazing OFF Family and their families. 

Loads more love and hugs to all......connie d

 

 

 

Hi Ladies,

Im very tired today.  Didnt sleep good last night plus I was up at 7am yesterday and never went to sleep till 2:30 am.  My Aunt had COPD for a couple years and was on oxygen but it was shocking because they just put her on Hospice the day before she died so I thought I had time to go visit her. I should of went to the hospital Monday to see her but I didnt.  Oh well I cant change what has happen.

Thoughts and prayers for everyone.

Love and hugs,

Yvonne

I either have to laugh or cry.  Took Mom to the store.  It is 72 degrees here this afternoon.  She wore a coat and gloves!!!  Said it is "too cold" today.  

  SMH!