VSGbyACEVES
What is Self Esteem & Why is it important to build it NOW?
Jun 01, 2011
As I move into my second month of post-op, my self-esteem needs to be addressed, so while I am doing this homework, I felt it was important to create a blog-post about how the stress of a changing body can affect your-my Self Esteem.STRESS most certainly affects your Self Esteem.
Nathaniel Brandon says that your self esteem is the single most powerful force in your existence. He says: how we feel about ourselves crucially affects every aspect of our existence, from the way we function at work, in love, in sex, to the way we operate as parents, to how high in life we are likely to rise. Our responses to the happenings in our everyday life are shaped by who and what we think we are.
Self-esteem has another value ... it holds the key to understanding ourselves and other people. Positive Self-Esteem is a cardinal requirement of a fulfilling life. Your level of self-esteem determines who you are and what you are willing to do in life.
Interestingly, you cannot ACT contrary to the self-image that you have of yourself. You are always vibrating your self-image and self-esteem out and then the Law of Reflection allows you to see what you are mirroring back.
If self-esteem was like a 3-legged stool and you needed all 3-legs to be equal in length to find a true relationship with yourself, it might look like this.
Appreciation~~Responsibility~~Accountability
The first LEG is to notice how much Appreciation you have for your own self-worth and sense of importance in this world, knowing You don't have to DO anything to have a strong sense of Self and personal value. High self esteem lets you own your place on earth without having to DO anything to prove your worth.
I used to work for Dr Stephen R Covey and taught his 7-Habits of Highly Effective People nationally. One lesson I taught was to draw a 3 ring bulls-eye.
In the center of the bulls eye, we would write DO.
On the next ring, we would write HAVE.
And on the outer ring, we would write BE.
This is how alot of people with lower self esteem with a lower self image live their lives. The bulls eye for them is all about DOING. They have to DO certain things to HAVE what they think they want so eventually they can BEcome somebody.
I lived my life that way for years. That was goal-setting to me--but what we find is this model creates STRESS by always having to DO DO DO something to get a stroke back in life. We become human-doings and often forget what it means to be a human-being. The Do Do Do so you can Have Have Have creates so much stress and we already know that STRESS damages our self esteem and self-image.
The model that Dr Covey liked to use was the same bulls eye but to put the BE in the middle. What sort of human BEING do you want to BE? And to be this sort of human BEing, what must you DO [next ring] so that you can HAVE a life that you want to create.
I can sure see how this relates to my weight loss journey as I consider who do I want to BE during my journey and after I have arrived at my final destination?
WHAT specifically do I have to DO to keep my commitment to myself throughout my journey? What do I have to Do to be the person that I want to be through this journey?
And finally, what do I want to HAVE in my life that I don't have right now?
Be-->Do-->Have is the best formula for appreciating what you want to create in your life.
The second Leg of the stool is Responsibility. Learning to be Response-Able.
People with low self esteem see themselves as victims as if they are at the mercy of the world.
Maybe you have seen some of this on different forums:
No one told me I would have to do xyz; my sleeve is stretching because I am gaining weight; so far this surgery is not working for me; and so on and so on.
To have HIGH self-esteem, you have to give up the VICTIM role. HOW??
Who do you want to BE? What will you Do to Be that person? And what will you eventually Have if you choose to be that person and to truly Do what you say you are going to Do?
Create it in your mind now what you want to have--and be responsible to yourself.
People with high self esteem see themselves as participants...as players in the game of life...good-bad-indifferent. They are dedicated to learning, trying until they find the solution that is right for them; they empower themselves using the third leg of the stool.
The third leg is to become Accountable to yourself, to your therapist, to your coach. Accountability is about keeping your word to yourself and to others about who you say you are going to BE; what you say you are going to DO; and then keeping those commitments until. Keeping those commitments until you HAVE what you really want to have.
Good Luck to You on your Weight Loss Journey. Please feel free to post your thoughts on how you will maintain your high self-esteem during your Weight Loss Journey.
