4 months out

Jul 21, 2011

Well I am just about at the 4 month mark.  Just uploaded some new pics.  It is so funny how your mind does not catch up with reality.  I think I look so much smaller in pictures then I really am!  I have checked with my family and sure enough, they all think that is what I look like.  When I try on cloths, it takes 2 or 3 trips to the change room because I just cant believe I am wearing the size I am.

I started out a size 22 and now I am a 12!  When I hold the item up, I think "no way, that wont fit me".  I am going through clothing at such a pace that I can not keep up.  I am considering going naked at this point because it is so expensive!

The realization of what the rest of my life hit me over the past week.  You do not realize what this really means before surgery.  You think it will be easy but it is soooo hard.  Morning all the food that now causes me to dump.....

I am not saying I would not have the surgery again in a heart beat but it is so difficult to get through a family mean that smells so delicious that you know you just cant eat.  I hate and I mean hate taking vitamins.  I often skip them and I am now reaping the reprocussions as I am bruising very easy due to low iron levels.  My life really does revolve around, eating, drinking, taking vitamins, eating drinking.......

At work yesterday I got really busy and noticed I had not eaten in almost 7 hours.  I was shaking and dizzy, not good not good.  It really is a lifestyle and planning is the key.  Actually had some guys hitting on me this past weekend, I was thinking really ME!.  The other day someone said to me, you are lucky that you are so attractive!  and You are not big, what are you talking about!

It is so weird, when I look in the mirror I still see the old me.  I had to check with my family when I saw my pic's because I do not see myself the same way, I am hoping that soon my brain will catch up with the rest of me. 

Food is getting better, I have more options now but I still am very restricted in what I can eat.  I also find that most foods I no longer like so I am in a rut eating the same thing over and over.  I have to be more adventurous I guess.  I live in dumping fear so often refuse to even try many foods.  Mind you I did drink a beer this past weekend and it went down SMOOTH!

My energy levels are so much better and life just seams to be on an upswing.  I have no pain from the surgery but I must admit, I am still just as lazy.  People as if i excersize, NO, i drive to the corner store,lol.  I guess at some point that will have to change but just not ready to go down that road.

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