Excited? Scared? both

Feb 13, 2011

I've made it through a big hoop. I've been approved by my dr, surgeon, dietician, and psychiatrist for the surgery and everything was submitted on Friday to my insurance company for final approval. I'm trying not to worry too much about it and trust that everything will work out just the way it's supposed to but sometimes it's hard. Yesterday DH came up to me and asked me if I'm sure about this and I stalled. I mean, most of the time I'm sure, I think I'm sure but then again I don't know that I've ever been sure about anything in my entire life so why would I be about this as well? I think more then anything I'm just afraid of the possible complications and the idea of this being permanent scares me a heck of a lot as well. I plan on being around for a very long time after this surgery. :)  I try to focus on my goals, daily and long term. So far I'm still eating very well. I'm at the gym every weekday for at least an hour trying to lose the 25 lbs my surgeon requested I lose. Long term I think about sitting on dh's lap and shopping in the normal clothes sections with my closest friends. I think about Halloween and crossing my legs. I think about swimming without being embarrassed or riding on carnival rides again. I think about living and that's when the fears dissipate.  Everyone I talk to says it's normal to be so afraid so here's hoping their right. 

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