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I had a wonderful walk this morning. I started around 450am and got home about 605am so I got to
really clear my mind. Yesterday when I blog a lady asked me did the numbers really matter. I could say
no then I would be clear and off the hook and I wouldn't have to reach the finish line because I would
have already been there BUT I have never finished anything I started when it comes to weight loss so
this is important that I get to the NUMBER if I get there and I don't like it I can do something about it
but I have to finish what I started.

See the way I look at this is someone BELIEVED enough in my to invest. I had no way to pay for this surgery.
TRICARE paid all but $25.00 and the office fee of $500.00 so I am truly BLESSED.

Yes I am better than I have been in almost 17 years I am finally Living in my space. Not the shadow of anyone.
I can stand in the front I dont have to kneel down or stand sideways I am living my best life thanks to my
Band I have no regrets but is it a daily struggle yes!!!!!!  It is my plan not to diet to see what works for me
and do it... if I fall get up and try it again but the Best thing that has work for me is weighing every day
because the minute I stopped I notice a 5 pound gain if I weigh each morning I am saying ok what are
you really going to do today Tara lets get to moving and I do.

Don't let anyone tell you what you should be doing or not doing do what works for you. You are in
control of you not them.

Well I did it I made myself accountable for the pounds I gained. Even though
I work out twice a day on most days I still have to watch what I eat. I have to
be on my team because if not I will not win. So I have got the weight off I
gained but I am back to trying to hit 140 by Dec 2 so I have some work to do.
Yes I wear a size 10 but the size wasn't my goal the pounds were. Some say Tara
how small do you want to get? I want to get healty and stay that way. I came from
a size 24 jeans to a 10 jeans a 18/20 shirt to a medium shirt and I am still not
satisfied because I set out to a 140 my dr office says 130 and I am still coming up
short but I am determined to get the 140 and stay there.

My goal is to never diet to just live see what works for me in my life and go
from there but I dont want to focus on what I can't have and what I can have
because I want to live.

Today I will do my best to Drink Water. I will work out. I will not only be sad when I fall down
but I will be glad witth each step I make. I have to learn how to embrace the change and
accept the fact that during this journey I have to live. I am not on a diet but a life style
change. I try to not limit myself to certain food groups but to downsize my food portions.
This journey is rough but I am willing and able.

I have been fighting this weight thing for so long and at times it;s like I take one step forward and three to five
steps back. It drives me crazy that as far as i have come I am still not there, I want to finally complete this thing
for once. I want to get to my first goal and then see where it leads me. I am working out as much as I did
before but I need to up it so I have decided that as of monday I will do everything in my power to be on my
own time and stop making excuses so i am going to try my best.

What a wonderful journey I have been placed on. I am still at it. I love working out. I walk, I do ZUMBA
which I really love to love. I love the cycling class and I also do water aerobics. I have decided that I am
even going to give the weight lifing classes another try starting in about 60 days. I injuried my back
and I stopped do them but I do plan to go back for toning.

I notice now I am really sore and my right knee is just killing me now. I am a person that dont like taking
medication but if my knee don't feel any better by the end of this week I am going to go get it checked. It hurt
so bad last night I was not able to go to sleep until agter 1am. So it's time to do something NOW.

I purchase a sweather shirt at BELKS yesterday in a MED size and it was perfect. I was like why aren't
you crying shouting I came from a 18/20 or 2X and now a MED what a blessing. I am wearing a 10 pants. I
have about 18 pounds to lose now and I have decided to stop playing around with these last pounds and
meet my goal already.I notice I have been playing around with the same last 23 to 18 pounds I need to
crank it up so I can start maintaining. I love the Way my life is circling around now.

Well I am just getting back settled in my routine again since my vacation during the Labor Day weekend in Maryland.
Boy, did I have fun. I ate all the wrong stuff and I did not work out. But I didn't gain or lose so I was lucky.
6 days of not working out so I did pretty good. I am back to walking cycling and zumba so we shall see.

It was finally nice not to be the biggest one at the party or the cookouts anymore. I got so many compliments.
I am in a size 10 jeans now so I wore a dress to an event and I had a lady come up and asked me
what size was it and it was an 8 I was like YEAH!!!!!! I am still 20 pounds away from Goal. I am just
loving the new me.

I also had someone tell me I cheated by doing the surgery and I could not even get mad. I said well if
this is what you call cheating I am glad I did. Alot or people thinks the surgery does all the work but to
me it makes you honor your work and get fit for real.

Today my DH told me that I had a skinny chest LOL I am not sure if that was a
compliment or insult but I took it as a compliment LOLOLOL!!! My husband and I went
shopping yesterday. I got a dress in a size 10. I was afraid to try it on so I told the
lady that I didn't need to try it on, but when I got home I tried it on and it fitted. I
was so shocked. Never in a million years did I think my life would really change like
this. I am so active, and out going now. I have just as much enegry as I had in
high/college. I am loving my band.

I was able to do Zumba every this week so far. I plan to go tonight too. I walked
everyday this week except this morning it was a bad thunderstorm so I could not get
out and walk but my plan is to walk tomorrow and do Zumba Saturday and Sunday.
I really need to walk in the morning its so healing to me but I had no control over it
this morning. This closer I get to reach my goal the further away it feels I have 23 pounds
to go. I need to update my page completly because my weight has changed I will try to
do that this weekend.

Well I am still walking and doing zumba as many days as I can. Goal is to do Zumba atleast 5 days a week and walk atleast 6 days a week and so far I have been able to do just that. What amd I eating well this is a work in progress because I do have days where I eat what I really should not have but I have come to realize this is no diet that I am on. I am making lifestyle changes so if I want a small cup of ide cream that is just what I will have. i am nothing like I use to be but I hav eto make changes that I know are for me. If you dont eat it fine but if I then thats fine. We are all different and our bodies desire different foods I am more focused on my water intake now so I make sure I get my water in. I am actaully 163 now I just have not changed my signature bar I will try to do that this week. My goal is to be 159 by the end of this month. I try to set goal at the beginning of each month and to do my best to meet them so we shall see.  

Well its a new day and I feel great. I just got in from my morning
walk. I have walked every morning this week and my plan is to
walk again tomorrow but I take Sunday Mornings off now
because its too big of a hassle to come back calm down and
get ready for church. I had a lot to think about this morning
because on this past Monday my high school classmate killed
herself, leaving behind two small children. This is so sad because
she appeared to be happy. I have no idea why. But I was told
that it was well planned. The Funeral services are private so, that
is it. We need to learn how to HUG HARD  LIVE LIFE  and
Love Long  this is the lesson I get from her tragic death.

Zumba was fun this week. I did not go on Monday because my
husband came home after working out of town so I stay in and
enjoyed the evening with him but I have been to Zumba every
other day this week and I plan to go tonight and Sunday. Saturday
I have a work seminar so I can not go on Saturday.  

I have learn that excuses not to work out will only stop me
from meeting my goal so when I am not working out I feel
like I lost something.

My mom asked me today how much more weight was i 
planning on losing because she feels I am getting to
thin. I told her that I was 20 something pounds away
from my goal but 30 pounds away from my doctors goal
she didnt like that but I want not to be listed overweight so
this is why I am working hard on my goal. I am not losing
the weight fast and I am working out at least two hours 5 to 6
days a week so I will be ok.

Wow!! Not me, I try to read the post here and sometimes
I comment and sometimes I dont, but this week has been interesting.
Someone name NANA posted a question about excessive fills (64)
and the first few responds were helpful but then came the one
from a lady name Jean, followed by several others, all after Jean
we just mind blowing, attackful. some questioned her mental ability, 
while one even commented about her spelling, A few wanted to know
why she posted the question at all and not contacted her doctor
As I continue to read the post it took me back to middle
and high school.

I am very cautious of the battles I pick so
I responded in a respectful way. My goal was to
let the attackers know that this was childish if you dont have any
helpful advise or anything nice to say why even bother to respond
to the post? As they begin to explain to me the history of Nana
on the board, to me that was pointless, Nana asked a question
to an open board, so if you know there is bad blood why would
you answer it? Yes I meant what I said Grow up! Dont tell me
someone else history, your past is your past and our future
is here today. We all have something we are not proud of.

We have to be careful jumping on board with someone just
because they seem more successful then us. Live your LIFE
Stand up for whats right and move forward. This is the life I
live. I respect others and I hopefully they can respect me, but
my success is measured by measuring tape not yours.