Stephanie W.
In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth and populated the Earth with colorful fruits and vegetables of all kinds so that Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives. Then Satan created doughnuts and ice cream. And Man and Woman ate of them. And Satan smiled.
And God created low-fat yogurt that Woman might keep the figure that Man found so fair. And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat and sugar from the cane and combined them. And Woman gained in size.
So God said, "Try my fresh green salad." And Satan presented thick creamy dressing, buttery croutons and garlic toast on the side. And Man and Woman loosened their coverings.
God then said, "Behold, I have sent you heart-healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them." And Satan brought forth deep-fried fish and chicken-fried steak. And Man's cholesterol reached toward the heavens.
God then created a light, fluffy white cake and named it "Angel Food." And Satan created chocolate cake and named it "Devil's Food."
God then brought forth running shoes for his children. And Satan gave them cable TV with a remote control. And Man and Woman became lazy and gained pounds.
Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition. And Satan peeled off the healthful skin, sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fried them. And Man continued to grow in size.
God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and fat. And Satan created the 99-cent double bacon cheeseburger and asked, "You want to super-size those fries?"
And Man went into cardiac arrest.
God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery. And Satan created HMOs.
