starla_abbie
Ok. So here I am. 2007 and I'm 250 lbs. I have struggled with my weight my entire life. I am such an emotional eater! I was down to about 150 back in 2001 and part of 2002, but when I got married and pregnant 2 months later, I gain about 70-80 lbs during pregnancy, and lost maybe 15 of it...................eeeeekkk!! That sucked! Anyway, I have since had my second baby in 2005, and am still carrying an extra 120 lbs of weight around. I have tried every diet under the sun, and ultimatly feel like I don't have anywhere else to turn. So, here I am. In my glory :) My weight has really affected me as a person. I don't allow myself to live. I don't feel accepted or truly wanted. My husband will tell me how pretty I am, and I scoff at the idea in reply. I want to feel pretty again! I want to feel like I can shop at my favorite stores and actually wear their clothes! I want to have the energy to take my kids out and about and not poop out ! I want to be able to live my dream and sing again! I love music and I love to sing! When I was skinny, I actually sang a few songs at The House of Blues in Orlando, FL! It was the most exciting night of my life and want so badly to do it again, but I WON'T get up on stage at 250 lbs! I feel like people will be so distracted by my weight that they won't even want to hear me sing! The sad part is that I'm sure that thats not so far from the truth.
I want to live to see my grandchildren, and have a enriching life. I want to make the most of my life, and I have not been. I have had 3 people in my immediate family die over the last 3 years. If I have learned anything in these times, its that life is unpredictable and can be short. Make the best of it!!! I so desparetly want to! I am putting this in the Lord's hands and if it is meant to be that I have this surgery, then I am sure that I will.
