Star27
I have been reading a lot about people who have had WLS and experienced depression and other emotional issues. Honestly, I don't understand that. Everything in my life revolves around my weight. You see, I have been overweight my entire life except birth. At birth, I was a healthy 7lb baby. By the time I was in secong grade, I weighed 120lbs. I remember the day my second grade teacher taught us how to weigh ourselves. When it was my turn to weigh myself in front of the classroom, she loudly said, "You weigh, 120lbs". As soon as she said that, I heard a roar coming from my classmates. My classmates were making all kinds of comments. In those days, there weren't as many obese children as there are now. I really can't remember how or why I ballooned up so much as a child but I do remember that my poor parents did not know how to deal with the problem. Armed with little knowledge, my mom believed that in order to keep me from eating “bad” food, she would send me to school with only an apple to eat for lunch. I developed a strong dislike for apples and it lasted for many years. I hated apples because it represented diet, starvation, seclusion and a reminder that I was different from all the other children. By the time I was in third grade, I knew about diet, calories, and exercise! My father tried to get me, the third grader, to follow the famous
My adolescent years all the way up to adulthood were plagued with insecurity issues. While my friends had no trouble getting dates, invitations to parties, and moving on with their lives, I was stuck in a time warp. I grew up into adulthood, mid twenties and early thirties with the mentality that weight was the reason for all of my woes: being single, not having the job of my dreams, not making enough money, health problems, etc… Although I am grateful to have managed to achieve many goals, my weight was a constant reminder of my failure. I think the biggest insecurity that I have is dealing with the opposite sex. I am very aware of my surroundings and anytime a man strikes a conversation, my mind and body goes into defense mode. I have fallen in love three times and all times, it resulted with feelings of humiliation, hurt, and worthlessness. What I remember most about the failed relationships is that they started out as friendship and escalated into me having an attraction but the attraction was not reciprocated. You know that the hardest part about this is seeking logic because your emotions can fog your logic. However, thankfully, I was smart enough to painfully admit that they just weren’t into me. Admitting and letting go was the first step towards moving on.
Last year, I was diagnosed with Diabetes. I was devastated. At that time, my insurance did not cover WLS. However, I was prescribed Byetta and it actually works very well for me. Byetta helped me lose 15lbs and pretty much maintain my weight. Byetta helps me to not eat so much but it does NOT curb my appetite. Since my insurance did not cover my surgery and I could not afford to pay for my surgery, I devastatingly gave up on WLS until January of 2008. When January came around, a little voice urged me to call my insurance and ask if there were any changes to WLS. To my astonishment, the precious hand of God was upon me, my insurance now covers WLS. Immediately, I called Dr. Robert Davis’ office and they explained the procedure. Here I am today, anxiously waiting for
I am very aware that WLS is a only a tool and not a end all and cure all procedure. The rest is on me. WLS is like a hammer tool. If I need to put a nail on the wall, I use a hammer to help me. However, It is up to me to position the nail in the right spot. WLS does not guarantee happiness, more love possibilities, more money, etc… but I am expecting it to put the fire out. I am forming new habits for example instead of celebrating at restaurants, I will celebrate by buying lip gloss or other things. I LOVE lip gloss, shoes, purses, perfumes and make-up. Instead of going to the movies and gorging on all the popcorn, I am going to art museums around
I prolonged WLS because I thought that I could lose weight on my own without surgery. By the time I was 35 years old, my stubborn self finally realized that I needed help. I came to the realization that since I have not been able to successfully take my weight off by now, then the chances of losing weight without surgery seemed severely slim. I am glad I chose to have the surgery because after the surgery, I went through the withdrawal process. That's when it hit me and I discovered that I was addicted to food. All I could think about was fatty nachos from Cafe Adobe. I could actually smell the nachos and taste the cheese. I thank God everyday for making it possible for me to have the surgery. The Lord knew my weakness.
