softdreams
I'm 30 years old from buffalo new york a mother to a handsome 9year old son.well,i'd say atleast 13years of my life i've been big.I went from a cute chubby kid,to a plump teenager,to an obese adult.I have been on every diet under the sun and i've abused my body in every form possible to lose weight from food restriction,excessive exercising,sticking my finger down my throat&just plain starving,not that i ever ate much anyway.Im one of those people that eat next to nothing and gain weight,you know the kind that looks at a burger and gains 5pounds??
thats me except i'll gain ten.i went from 280pounds to 339 pounds in a matter of 4 or 5 years.after the birth of my son in 1999 i weighed 312pounds,and now i'm well over 400pounds.i almost passed out when i stepped on the scale at the doctor's office and was told they had to get the weights to add them on the scale.i have never weighed this much in my life,and quite frankly im scared for my life.My weight has luckily never been much of an issue to anyone but me,weight loss surgery for me would have nothing to do with vanity,but for me to feel better about me¬ have to second guess everything i want to do with the fear of i may not fit into this,or i may break that,or whatever.Im active,i walk everywhere work,appts,friends houses,shopping,and just for leisure.i've always loved to walk,but lately my back hurts and i get pains in my legs after awhile&im saddened that my weight is starting to intefer with one of the joys in my life.I dont have diabetes,high cholesterol or sleep apnea thank the lord,i had high blood pressure for a while back due to my constant intake of diet pills.At one point not too many months ago i was taking slim fast,leptoprin&laxatives all at the same time plus over exerting my body.I want surgery,not for vanity purposes but for living,im afraid of the prospect that i could die earlier than i should due to my weight.I am going to see my son grow up,that is not negoitable.However,i dont know how or where to start,and im simply honestly afraid,afraid to pursue surgery and defitnitely afraid not too.I know several people who had gastric bypass most are doing well,some simply are'nt.i know it's a toss up with any surgery and everybody's body reacts differently to things,but i just fear the unknown,all the wha if's keep clouding my thoughts.I came here for support and encouragement,i'd like to meet some people who perhaps were or are going through the same things,and worries i am.