Whatever you want ... girl, you got it

Aug 01, 2009

(( This post contains a lot of personal, TMI-information.  For mature audiences only.  ))

I have previously posted that one of my main motivators for weight loss surgery was to connect with my wife.  I am totally hot for her, but we have sex simply because she knows I want it.  She's doing it for me, not because she wants it.

Long story short, wifey is (to date) inorgasmic and has a low libido (for a variety of legitimate reasons) and it's really getting to me.  We've been married five years and I'll be damned if I'm going to let my belly and overall appearance get in the way of intimacy.  I want to remove all the barriers I can, to take charge in the areas that I can actually effect change.  My theory here is that if I get skinny, focus on being the right kind of me, and can get her over the orgasm hump, that the libido issues will be a thing of the past.  I want red hot monogamy. 

Funny how the decision to improve my life via the sleeve has given me the resolve to fix other broken areas in my life.  Who knew how much the weight has been holding me back?  No more!

Anyway, I am in the process of transforming myself, pre-op, into the guy I want to be for her.  This means, besides getting skinny:

- taking the lead instead of being passive
- not being a slob
- talking less
- being assertive sexually
- helping in parenting duties more
- acting confident, even when I don't feel confident
- treating her right, but not being a doormat either

Essentially, I am trying to channel Cary Grant and Barry White. 

Step One of Operation Orgasm (tm):  A full body massage with grapeseed oil, after baby Bear is asleep.  All day I've been mostly the new-and-improved Bear.  I'm TCB baby.  And now, in our room, the scented candle is lit.  She fights me on getting naked under the towel, but I manage to get her down to her panties.  Wifey has surrendered to my lovin' will.

I work the oil into her body slowly, quietly, letting her enjoy my hands on her.  Letting her relax.  I'm working her over thoroughly, from neck to toes.  Her defenses are lowering, and I pounce -- even her glutes get the rubdown.  I spend a lot of time on her inner thighs, working my thumbs down her legs.  I'm keeping it intimate but not overtly sexual. 

About a half hour later, she is totally relaxed, having gone from stubborn and tense to mellow and happy.  "Where have you been all my life?" she asks.

"I've been right here, baby."

"Have you been practicing that?"

"No," I say with a smile and a kiss as I leave her to fall asleep.  "You are a beautiful, lovely woman.  Don't ever forget that, baby."

Stay tuned for Step Two.

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