Teena A.

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Per the Cardiac Surgeon I saw today for a second opinion, I do not need to have heart surgery at this time.

My regurgitation is only moderate and I have no symptoms so at this time all we need to do is monitor my heart.

In 4 mos they want to do another heart sono to check status.

If the regurgitation stays moderate and I get no symptoms no surgery will be needed. 

He said they only operate when there are symptoms and severe regurgitation.

YAY!!!

Thank you all for your support and prayers.


Sincerely,

Teena Adler

If you want to know more about what is up with me go here:  http://skyedancer4u.wordpress.com/

This is my new blog that I started where the updated info about me will be.

You can also locate me on FB http://www.facebook/Skyedancer4u 

I have moments in my life where I do not want to be bothered with anyone except Nico my Chihuahua.

I know a lot of it has to do with my past struggle to fit in as a fat kid, adolescent, and adult.

A large majority of that is also my mental illnesses (Bipolar I and Borderline Personality Disorder w/co-occurring disorders PTSD, OCD, and Anxiety).

Even though I am normal size (5'6 158 lbs) now, I still feel all of 305 lbs.

A lot of people do not understand that sometimes I just need to be left alone.

Luckily I live alone and am in the position of not having to deal with anyone when I get in that mind frame if I don't want to.

However, I have lost associates in the past because they just could not truly understand how I could spend so much time alone and did not want to always be in the streets (clubbing, drinking, movies, concerts, etc) with them.

The truth of the matter is that I love doing all of those things.

I also am aware that they were not friends if they could not understand what I was going through.

The problem is that my anxiety is so bad that it is a big ordeal for me to be around a lot of people.

I have to shop at odd hours because I fear large crowds.

I can do it, but it is a huge deal.

I have to take my xanax and use self talk and coping skills to realize if I'm being rational or irrational in my thoughts of what is going on.

Do any of you have this problem with anxiety and if so how do you cope and work through it?

I know what works for me thanks to my bi-weekly therapy sessions, but I am just curious as to what works for you guys.

Thanks for listening.

Teena

I am writing you today to tell you about an upcoming event that I am participating in that is both very important and very exciting to me. NAMIWalks, the signature walkathon event of the National Alliance on Mental Illness, is being held in Dallas, TX at Fair Park on May 7, 2011.


I am volunteering at the registration table and walking because mental illness has personally affected my life.


I would like to ask you to come and walk with me or to donate to support my participation in this great event. Visit my personal walker page to sign up: http://www.nami.org/n.... It features a link to my team's page there where you can see who else is walking with me. There is also a link so you can donate directly to me online. Donating online is fast and secure, and I'll get immediate notification via e-mail of your donation.


NAMI, the National Alliance on Mental Illness, is the largest education, support and advocacy organization that serves the needs of all whose lives are touched by these illnesses. This includes persons with mental illness, their families, friends, employers, the law enforcement community and policy makers. The NAMI organization is composed of approximately 1100 local affiliates, 50 state offices and a national office.


The goals of the NAMIWalks program are: to fight the stigma that surrounds mental illness, to build awareness of the fact that the mental health system in this country needs to be improved and to raise funds for NAMI so that they can continue their mission.


NAMI is a 501(c)3 charity and any donation you make to support my participation in this event is tax deductible. NAMI has been rated by Worth magazine as among the top 100 charities "most likely to save the world" and has been given an "A+" rating by The American Institute of Philanthropy for efficient and effective use of charitable dollars. NAMI has also been given 4 out of 4 stars by The Charity Navigator for short-term spending practices and long-term sustainability.


Thank you in advance for your support.


Sincerely,
Teena Adler

I have not been here in a minute due to medical issues I have been having.

I was hospitalized repeatedly since December 2010 not WLS related

12/10 - I was in the hospital for two weeks due to Malnutrition I stopped eating out of fear of gaining back my weight. I ended up with two feeding tubes in my nose (at seperate times) and they kept falling out so they gave me a dual picc line and I was fed on TPN at home for two months.

2/2011 - I was in the hospital for two weeks because I had severe anemia (hemoglobin was 5) and I passed out and it turned out that I had a staph infection from the dual picc line and was septic.

3/2011 - I was in the hospital for two weeks because I had Pneumonia and stap/bacterial infection was still present from Feb. I now have Endocarditis of the tricuspid valve because of it.

Those that may remember I had a revision 10-09-09 by Dr. David Provost.

I was revised from proximal to distal and had a gastro gastric fistula repaired.

I almost died three times Dec, Feb, and March.

I am so glad to be alive.

I am fine now, but still am fighting this eating disorder that I have.

I am really terrified of getting big again.

I am now 5'6 158 and would like to lose another 20 lbs.

I am getting counseling for my eating disorder so I am taking care of myself in that aspect.

 I just wanted to come on here and see how you all were and to update you on me.

I hope you all are doing well.

Have an absolutely fabulous Thursday.

It is such a dark and gloomy day outside.

Hopefully the sun will be shining brightly later.

I'm so over these rain storms.

Let's get this summer started.

I am working on myself in a way that I never have before.

I am on a path to self enlightenment and empowerment.

I am so excited to see where this road will take me.

For once in my life I am glad to be alive and able to fully experience life.

The good, bad, and the ugly.

I am also open to dating again.

Although it is scary I am ready to try.

Such positive things are headed my way.

When things are going fab in my life in the past I would self sabbotage.

This time around I am gonna maintain a positive vibe.

There is no room in my life for negativity to channel in.

I have so many other goodies to store in my mind that I had to have a negativity resale to make room for them all.

The goodies I choose to store in my mind and in my life are all positive and worthwhile.

I am finally in control of me and that is an amazing feeling.

I am free to be the me that I've always wanted to be.

I have released my past out of love for myself and have embraced my future and the here and now.

It is such freedom.

I so hope that others will be able to experience this.

 

I have this sense that things are finally starting to look up for me and at this moment in time don't feel lost. 

After being sick for so long (not WLS related) and in and out of the hospital (Dec 2010 (two weeks), Feb 2011 (two weeks), March 2011 (two weeks) I was begining to think it just was not meant to be for me to be breathing on this earth.

My body was fighting itself and kicking my ass in the process. 

This is sick and twisted, but for once when I was sick and on the verge of death I did not have to string up the rope, pull the trigger, walk into oncoming traffic on the highway, pop the pills, or use my knife or razor blade to slit the vein, or set myself on fire. 

 

Yes, those are all things I have done before. 

 

All of the power was out of my control and God was running the show.

There is a reason that God keeps bringing me back to life.

 

Not sure what it is at this point, but I so wish I did.

I know that through my experiences, strength, and hope that I sometimes help others realize that there are other options and life after a mental illness diagnosis.

That can't be the only reason I have beat the statistics and have survived as many times as I have been near death.

My ass don't have any more lives left as I have used up all nine and then even used up the ones I have/had on lay-away.

 LMAO.

The life I have led has been so disgustingly sick, harsh and just cruel that people find it hard to believe all that I have survived.

Hell sometimes I don't or can't believe it and I lived it.

The things I have been through have made me a stronger woman in alot of aspects, but in other ways I AM UTTERLY BROKEN in a way that no one could ever understand.

Not even my family or closest friends.

To live a life where you trust no one and you are constantly on the look out of being mistreated and screwed over because somehow someway you have the sixth sense that it is coming is no way to live.

However, I have always been right.

I equate that to living my life behind a wall of barbed wire and only letting the wounded in so I can protect them too and we can support one another.

I am terrified of getting hurt again so I block people from being in my world often.

That is not any way to live a full life in my eyes.

To me that is very sad and painful because I feel and I know I have alot to offer, but am paralyzed by fear and anxiety to let my walls down enough to let anyone in.

When I use to cut (I was a cutter and I still am when things get off the rails), do drugs, and drink heavily all those thoughts were no where to be found.

I know they were not there because when you are high or drunk you become numb.

I WAS NUMB TO THE WORLD!!!!!

After all isn't that the purpose of doing them to the point of excess?

Why feel shitty when you don't have to feel at all?

Now I feel all the time and I hate it.

At times I feel several different feelings/emotions all at one time and it gets to be to much for me and I just want to run and zone out.

I often wonder if anyone else I know besides my mentally ill acquaintances/friends from my support groups feels this way.

So many people feel the need to hide who they are and what they live with in their everyday life.

I can't do that anymore.

Mentally, emotionally, physically, and financially I can't afford to.

To much is at risk of being lost if I did.

I learned a long time ago that you are only as sick as your secrets and I got sick and tired of being sick and tired and now live my life as an open book.

Some people hate that about me and some love me for it.

People are going to love me or hate me and I really, truly, and sincerely don't give a flying fuck.  

Jimmy crack corn and I DON'T CARE!!!! 

ROTFLMAO. 

What I do care about is when people use me or waste my time with bs, lies, and games. 

I'm working on letting my walls down and letting others into my life piece by piece with one brick at a time in therapy, but it is still hella scary for me. 

I am a work in progress so stay tuned.

 

 P.S. I'm stuck at 162 lbs at 5'6 and want to lose 20 more lbs and have enough excess skin to make a nice sun dress with all Silence of the Lambs like. LMAO.

I am happy to announce that my damn scale has finally moved by two pounds.

I now have 25 pounds left to go til I get to my goal of 150.

This may seem minor to some, but I have been on a plateau from hell for a while.

I now have to change things up with my exercise.

Getting to goal come hell or high water.

I am on another plateau from hell.

I am so close to the finish line I can feel, smell, and taste it.

I have 27 pounds to go until I am 150.

I want it so bad.

On November 9, 2010 it will be a year and one month since my open RNY revision to distal.

I know I will get there, but it is just frustrating as hell.

I have been offline for a while.

I am mostly on Facebook on a daily basis as it is easier to talk to everyone.

www.facebook.com/Skyedancer4u

I hope you all are doing well and losing weight, maintaining weight, getting approved, and etc.

Have an absolutely fabulous Tuesday.

Class begins on Tuesday, 02-01-11 to 04-05-11
                  

                        Register Now!!

 NAMI Peer-to-Peer is a unique, experiential learning program for people with any mental illness who are interested in establishing and maintaining their wellness and recovery.




There is no charge for attending this class.

What does the course include?

 

* Peer-to-Peer consists of ten two-hour units and is taught by a team of two trained “Mentors” and a volunteer support person who are personally experienced at living well with mental illness.

* Mentors are trained in an intensive three day training session and are supplied with teaching manuals.

* Participants come away from the course with a binder of hand-out materials, as well as many other tangible resources: an advance directive; a “relapse prevention plan” to help identify tell-tale feelings, thoughts, behavior, or events that may warn of impending relapse and to organize for intervention; mindfulness exercises to help focus and calm thinking; and survival skills for working with providers and the general public.

 

 

Peer-to-Peer Class Topic List: http://www.nami.org/Template.cfm?Section=Peer-to-Peer&Template=%2FContentManagement%2FContentDisplay.cfm&ContentID=71354

 

Mandatory requirement in order to take this class is to be diagnosed with a mental illness.

Date: February 1, 2011 - April 5, 2011

Class Dates: 02/01/11, 02/08/11, 02/15/11, 02/22/11, 03/01/11, 03/08/11, 03/15/11, 03/22/11, 03/29/11, 04/05/11

Days class is held: Tuesdays

Time: 6:30 pm - 8:30 pm.

Class limit: 15

Location: TBD - Dallas, TX

Mentors: Teena A. and Allison S.

This class does meet every week on Tuesday for two hours for 10 weeks each class so you would need to make a commitment to be there all dates. (You can miss no more than two classes)

 

If you know that your schedule would not allow for that type of commitment please wait to sign up until it can.

 

Thank you for your interest and have an absolutely fabulous day.

 

Treatment Works!

Please email Teena A. at [email protected] to register for this class.

NAMI Dallas Website: http://www.nami.org/MSTEMPLATE.cfm?micrositeid=180