Sarah W.

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soo I've been thinking... I was considering not getting wls in order to avoid having limitations on the things that I eat in fear of being sick or not being able to enjoy the food I do love... but I mean really... am I enjoying all the food I love right now... NO I'm not, I'm eating all the stuff I would be eating if I had the surgury.... and then I think so why not... why not just go for it.

I want to be skinny for my wedding day, but I want to be able to eat my wedding cake... why couldn't have have just been born with metabolism like all the skinny b*tches that can eat everything they want and never worry about it.... grrrr!!

To you I may still be fat but I'm on the road to being smaller...
and although u may not notice the change I can see it all around me...

So I decided to take the girls on a little vacation this weekend. We went to Los Angeles. Pretty amazing weekend we went to all of the "typical" tourist spots, that I had never been to... the La Brea Tar Pits, The Los Angeles County Art Museum, The Getty (another beautiful art museum),  alos went to a couple of my favorite LA spots, the Griffith Obervertory and Santa Monica pier. if all the beautiful sight seeing wasnt enough I also got to spend time with a great guy.... so happy to have him in my life... :) he's such a great supporter of me... he's even going no carb with me LoL I don't know how long he'll manage but we shall see. I'm excited to report that I have continued to drop more weight... it's going slow but I'm more excited that my clothes are getting bigger on me... something really exciting is I was wearing a shirt the other day that I took my senior pictured in in high school. Yes, I still have a couple shirts from high school it's almost sad to know that I wore the same size clothes in high school... but my body shape sure has changed... Thanks KIDS!!! LoL but happiness is in my life right now. Something I'm glad to have back.

So all by my little ol'... well technically big ol' self...

I have managed to accomplish something I haven't done in almost 3 years...
 
I do NOT weigh 300 lbs.

YEAH WHOO HOO YAY ME!!!! under 300 :)

well here I go again... along the only road I've ever known... wow that sounds like a bad country/rock song...

back to work I've been back to work for the last month... guess what that means... I get new insurance.... which means I get to do everything... ALL OVER AGAIN....

good grief, i've had ummm no time for anything lately... waking up at 4 am is kickin my butt back in bed before 10, traffic to and from work... well seems like all i've managed to have time to do is screw up the diet I was supposed to be on... yay me dang it... back to the basics. hope i can get back on track... at least i've had a couple good things happen...

BTW... I FINALLY WENT SHOPPING FOR JEANS... yeah I had not yet seen myself in a size 18 jeans...
back in June I bought jeans that were 24/26 depending on the style... but last week I grabbed a size 22 and a size 18 off the rack just to see... well... pulled on the 18, a little snug... but yeah got them over the butt, hips and belly... and they zipped and buttoned yeah no jumping or bed required :D yay me... oh and as if that wasnt wonderful enough turns out they were on the clearance rack and they only cost me $4.50 HOLY SCHMOLY!!! gotta love it!!! :D

waiting and waiting and waiting.... I know this has all come much faster than most peoples but it seems like everytime I get a step ahead I fall behind. Did my Upper GI 2 weeks ago.... was supposed to have my pre op clearance last week but we had sooooo much rain many of the freeways were closed or so packed my Dr closed the clinic. Clearance rescheduled to next week.

         Happy Holidays though, hope everyone has had a great Thanksgiving and Christmas, I know I've had a few bumps in my road since my last post. Thanksgiving is not the same with out food, so my PreOp diet kinda got thrown out the window. I passed all of my classes, 2 A's and 2 B's.... My brother got married and we just found out yesterday their pregnant. Oh... and I won my case so I'll be getting my old job back!!!! Lots of Good things going on, but they've been stressful!!!! and Celebrations in our house come with lots of food. Go Figure... LoL well New Years is apon us and I cannot wait for what 2011 will have instore for me... I just hope things continue to go well...

Well well well... Had my surgery consult on Thursday... wow oh wow this is going to go fast... I can feel it... I have to get my EKG and Upper GI tests done... but I just know my surgery date will be here faster than I can even imagine... no date scheduled until I do the test but I know.... 1st of the year... if my PCP doesn't slow things down... then I'll be ready for surgery...

So I had planned to keep blogging more often however I've gotten a little busy. Well I finally took my packet to the surgen and I have my first consult appointment a week from today on the 11th. I don't know why I had such a hard time just dropping off the paperwork, took me over a month to finally take it in. now that I have I don't feel as scared. But I guess I'll have a better idea of my fear in the next week.... and then see how it continues. I guess I'm done writing for now...

Wow... I can't believe it's been over a month since my last blog... life has been crazy!!! seriously CRAZY!!! Right now I'm just happy I haven't gained the 20 lbs I've lost back... good grief!!! I guess because I'm still set on my goals I can keep my mind right to only eat what I should be eating.

 Well a little recap of what's going on... Schools crazy... I have 3 papers I'm working on for 3 different classes, and I have 2 other classes that I still have to study and do homework for. Social life is pretty non existant these days which is ok... I hardly ever drink which is totally awesome, I think was drinking too much before. But now its football season sooo... wings and beer are a given at my on Sundays... ummm oh yeah I got my referral back from my insurance co and... it was DENIED.... :( I was TOTALLY crushed!!! called the Dr, called the insurance, called the Dr again... I had to KNOW why they denied me... well I guess when my Dr sent the referral she neglected to include my previous attempts at weight loss. Well I think my persistence paid off went to Dr Krhan's wls seminar about a week and a half ago... kinda went over everything I already knew from my research on this site, and what I've learned from those who have had wls. But it was really nice to get to know the Dr better, a bio online doesn't really give you a connection to the Dr. Oh and... just the other day I received another letter from my insurance Co. yeah they approved my referral to meet with Dr Krhan...
Mama taught me well kill them with kindness. :)

Oh and as of last week my back has "gone out" again. IDK wth is wrong with my back but geeze if it doesn't flair up and put me through the wringer... wow... starting to feel better, or maybe its the pain meds and muscle relaxers. I'm soo over taking a pill to "fix" something... Pills don't fix the problem they only mask it for the moment... I'm ready for a solution!!! Not only for my pain but the hypertension, hypothyroid... 

Well I guess that's all I think is necessary for me to share right now... I don't plan on waiting so long for my next update. I'll be setting up my appointment with the Dr in the next couple days. Getting kinda nervous about the whole thing lol I know I've been wanting this for like 3 years... and... I need it for my health and for my girls... but still kinda scared of the thought that my dreams maybe coming true. If only everything I wish for would come true... but that's a whole nother blog in itself lol

 School started yesterday... Kinda nervous, the "easy" classes I took to get back in the grind of school aren't going to be so easy. I forgot what it's like to have to write a paper, a true college paper 3 + pages citing everything you write about. UGH!!!!!!!!! Can't wait to take an English class  AYE!! oh well... If I screw up the papers in these classes I guess I'll make less mistakes when I do take an english class. Did I really need to take 15 units though?? geezers... Well so far likeing my schedule at least I have Fri Sat and Sunday "off". And I'm still able to get to the gym before the kids get outta school :D I've become addicted to the gym I think. Burning over 1000 calories at the gym is a nice feeling especially when I'm only consuming about 1200 calories a day.

  Well I tried calling the insurance co today about my referral and of course they claim they don't see anything in their system and to talk to the Dr again... hmmm Dr office was closed early today sooo I'll be checking back in with them tomorrow and see what they have to say. 

    Hello everyone...

  How has the week gone for you?? Well so far so good for me I guess... I started to blog from my phone last night but I guess I fell asleep... I was soooo exhausted. I think life and reality and workouts are finally starting to catch up with me, not to mention the lack of carbs I've been taking in. Those evil carbohydrates... they make me crazy lol. Well I didn't get to go to the gym today because I had an appointment with a psychiatrist... well hmm guess we determined that I'm crazy lol but I think I already knew that jk naw I'm not crazy I'm normal, living in a crazy world, or at least a crazy house. I really like my Dr. I guess you're supposed to... but she's really nice and she totally gets me. My PCP & my Psych they're amazing!!!!:D

   Still no news from the insurance company as of tomorrow it will have been 1 week so I think I'll start calling and bugging them. I'm pretty proud of my lone success... I'm eating almost all protein, a few carbs here and there but nothing like I used to eat. Protein shake when I wake up about 6 - 6:30, protein bar before my work out about 9, either a protein shake or bar at around 12, throw in a banana/apple, some almonds & soy beans and lots of water. then dinner I try to have something sensable, if it's not carb free then I just go easy on my portion size.

    My gym regiment is pretty good I think I ride the bike usually 8 miles in 30 min, then do another 45 min to an hour of weight training, I really surprised myself when I did leg presses (i think that's what they're called) and I did 200 lbs didn't think I could do that... but why the hell wouldn't my legs be able to manage pushing 200 lbs they carry my big ass every where lol. On my arms I'm lifting about 40 lbs, my abs I'm doing 65 lbs and my hips and inner thighs I'm lifting 90 lbs. Going to the gym give me sooo much more energy I think not eating the shit I used to has help a LOT too :) I know I've still got a LONG way to go until I'm where i wanna be but I'd be super happy if I could loose another 25 lbs. 

    Hope the week is good to you. Time for bed for me... :)