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I am going to whine now and just wanted to prepare you in advance!

I started out at 257 lbs with my doctor. I lost 28 lbs pre-surgery.  I had surgery 5/3/10 (229 lbs) and I have lost another 28 lbs for a total of 56 lbs lost. I understand this is a very good thing and I feel so much better physically.  I no longer snore, I am more active and I fit easily into airport seats etc.  However, I really thought I would be farther along than I am now!

I just spent 7 days moving non-stop and I only have 4 lbs of weight loss to show for it. Now, I know by my old WW standards 4 pounds in a week is great but this early out in my RNY I thought I would be dropping a little more quickly.  Every person is different but I feel like I am being active and following the plan without the big results that others experience in the early months.  I have to admit this last week I was not meeting my minimum protein or calorie goals.

I recognize that the important thing is that I will continue to lose even if the pace is slower than I hoped for during this time. For now, I will celebrate my good health and work on feeling happy and encouraged by the goals I meet in that arena. Now, I am going to drink a protein shake and fix some SF cocktail sauce for my shrimp at lunch today!

Back from my 7 day trip to New York and DC.  While it was a lot of fun, traveling is exhausting and a bit of a challenge with our current limitations though I am sure it will be easier when we are further out!  In terms of the surgery both good and bad came from the trip.  I have now had such a physically demanding 7 days that I no longer have concerns about spending 10 hours at the office.  Each day we were up between 4:30 - 6:00 am and walked all day until usually 10 - 11 pm.  We walked or used the subway everywhere.  We are sure that we completed enough miles to cover two marathons!  Everything was just a "little more than a mile away" and walking seemed the easiest option.  I have blisters on the bottom of my toes and I wore my good New Balance tennis shoes the whole time with good socks!  I climbed so many stairs ( statue of liberty, empire state building, top of the rock, subway stations galore (even the ones with escalators were often out of service, etc.)!  I also had to heft around a backpack and suitcase frequently but I survived.

I brought protein powder with me intending to buy milk and mix in my blender bottle.  I found I did not like the Unjury unflavored protein and could not finish even one. It was also difficult to find milk especially fat free in the restaurants. Our hotel did not have a refrigerator so even when I bought milk in a market I could not keep it.  A lot of food waste.  Food was doable but difficult. It did not help that I was with a picky 14-year old boy that prefers pizza and anything that is a carb! When we went to McDonalds I would get a milk and a small cheeseburger.  I would eat it without the bun but never finished a patty. I had string cheese, hard boiled egg, milk, cottage cheese with canteloupe and a lot of sliced grilled chicken.  I paid way too much for very little food.  It was challenging to eat slowly because we were always in a rush to our next place and some had appt times. It was also difficult to keep food and drink separate this week because I always felt dehydrated and thirsty.  Security is tight in DC and New York public buildings and we were constantly required to throw out our water bottles and frequently had to check our backpacks which of course contained my pills.

I was doing well with my pills until about day 5 and then we had some days where it was challenging to even stop and eat and my pills got behind.  I started to feel a little queasy everytime I ate and really only wanted water all of the time. So, I tried to eat a little protein each day but I did not meet my protein requirements or minimum calorie levels. I arrived back home today and drank a protein shake which agreed with my now disturbed stomach.  I am looking forward to normal menu options this week.

I think a more relaxed touring schedule with another adult that could accomodate my need for a special diet and lengthy eating times would make things a little easier.  Also, I amstill new to the eating process so a lot of things were just too hard on my stomach still.  I am interested to see what happened in my 7 days when I weigh in tomorrow morning. 

Well, all pain gone now from stuck episode below and pouch is back to normal. Trying to introduce new soft foods each day so I have more options when I leave on a trip. I had an over easy egg using pam spray and a soy sausage patty from Morning Star Farms last night for dinner. That worked out well and it was the most food I have ever had in one sitting. A bit over full probably should have skipped the last two baby bites but not terribly uncomfortable. Today I will try oysters - Love my shell fish!

I will be gone for 7 days to New York and Washington DC with my 14 year old son. We live in California so this is cross country for me. I have only ever traveled in the west - Oregon, Washington, Idaho, Nevada, Arizona and Hawaii so my first time on the East Coast! Will be walking a lot of course. My daughter graduates from High School on Thursday so a lot of friends and relatives coming to town and staying. We will have a brunch after the graduation. I will eat a deviled egg and maybe a slice of deli meat or a bit of quiche with no crust. I will skip the cinamon rolls and cake ;-).

Looking forward to salads again some day and incorporating more veggies and fruits. The amounts are so minimal now when I eat protein first and portions are this small. Feeling ready to exercise more can't wait for full release for swimming and exercise only released for mild cardio right now. Saw an amazing speaker last night at my WLS support group meeting. She is a personal trainer and she is all about simple at home exercises with a focus on yoga and strenth resistance training. She has seveal modifications for every exercise. If you think you can't do a push up or sit up she will find a modified version for you to do. If you have a shoulder injury she will modify to show you how to slowly increase your range of motion without pain. She did a powerpoint with pictures of each exercise and gave it to us to take home. I even did one of her modified push-ups!  I would love to hire her but she is $55 an hour so it is expensive. She will come to your home, meet you or you can come to her home. She will meet with you as little as one time a month and give you homework for the month. I think I would at least like to try that I think. She recommends starting with yoga first so I am going to take that suggestion. She said just pick up the stuff at TJ Maxx they have beginning yoga tapes, mats, straps and blocks for $5 - $20. Summer is the time to find deals on exercise equipment. I guess I needed to record all of this so I don't forget to do it when I get back from NY!

I have had 4 episodes now of getting stuck and it sucks!  No dumping yet. I took a pill last night with my protein shake like always but it decided to get stuck. First it felt stuck in my esophogus then in my sternum for about 1/2 hour accompanied by dry heaves and finally up came the 2 oz of protein shake. I could feel it stuck until it seemed to be pain under my left ribs low down. PAIN! My pouch punished me all day today and the one time I tried solids at lunch today it stuck too though not as bad. Liquids were fine but the pouch felt tender and I was exhausted and slightly nauseated all day.  I took a 2 hour nap but still tired. The other 2 episodes were triggered by eating too fast but I don't know that I could say that this time.

At least no dumping yet!

Today is my one month surgiversary (sp?).  I had my lap RNY surgery on May 3, 2010.  I reached a goal today when I hit 207 lbs and that was the 50 lbs lost mark!    Next goal to enter Onderland!

That said I lost 28 lbs prior to surgery by first following the plan of my PCP and then my surgeon as required.  So, in the one month since surgery I have lost another 22 lbs to reach my total 50 lbs.  On the one hand, the 50 lbs excites me and I definitely notice a difference see previous Lane Bryant story.  However, I really hoped to lose more than 22 lbs in my first month closer to 30.  I know we are not supposed to compare ourselves with others but reading all of the stories certainly sets up expectations.  I feel like I put in the effort, followed the surgery guidelines and I am walking 2 miles a day in about 40 minutes now.  I journal, measure and weigh everything.  I also ended up on clear liquids for a whole week following surgery due to hospital readmission for nausea instead of the 2 - 3 days. 

I think when I read so many stories about people having wonderful success and not necessarily following all of their post-surgery guidelines and not getting in any exercise then I have an expectation of even better success when I do follow all of the rules and exercise.  I tell myself that each journey is different and everybody responds differently but I would not be honest to my blog if I did not admit a small amount of disappointment at the 22 lbs that puts a shadow on the 50 lb accomplishment.  Of course it is ridiculous to be sad about a 22lb loss in one month as I know that is wonderful but there it is just in my nature I guess. ;-)  I will focus on the fact that I am losing whether that is slow or fast the end result will be the same.  Also, my goals are really toward fitness so when I am able to run a 5K and start a yoga class I know I will be very happy!

Biggest challenge - Head hunger and learning that it is still ok to enjoy food.  I made a healthier egg salad to celebrate moving to my soft-chopped food stage.  I made it with a mixture of 1/2 light mayo and 1/2 FF Fage Yogurt for added protein.  Then just mustard, salt, pepper and garlic powder.  It tastes just like deviled eggs.  It was time for my dinner so I used a baby spoon to taste it for seasoning and continued to taste.  This is the only time I did not measure out my portion on to a little plate.  I ate 10 baby spoonfuls which was still under my total portion size of 1/4 cup since it takes 12 teaspoons and these are the super small baby spoons so they hold a little less than a teaspoon.  So, there was nothing to feel guilty about except I felt guilty for eating out of the prep bowl and knew I wanted to continue.  I guess I felt guilty for enjoying it and not doing it in a careful and controlled way.  Yes, I stopped and stayed within my limits but felt the potential future pitfall.  Also, everyone says how nothing seems appetizing immediately after surgery and I must say that was only my experience for the first two weeks.

Enough angst and self reflection for one day!

My little girl turned 18 today!!!!!!! Yes I am both crying and smiling...

I have two kids, Sara and Josh.  Sara is finishing her senior year in high school and graduates on June 10th! Josh is finishing 8th grade and will be ready for high school on June 11th.  I cannot describe how long the process is and yet how quickly time flies.  It is one of life's contradictions!

I will take my baby across country for college in mid August and hope for the best. I think I will need to send care packages more than she will need to receive them.

I took 4 weeks off from work after surgery only checking my email and responding to phone calls for about an hour a day after the first week. My doctor released me for work part time as of June 1 and then full-time as of June 18. I actually have to be at an all day training on June 1 my first out of the house all day! I am lucky and will be working at home primarily all of June with a few exceptions for meetings and a webcast. So, I did not want to buy any new clothes until the last possible minute since I know how fast sizes change in the first few months.

However, I have been wearing a 44DD bra and it is way too big and gives me no support now. My clothes are huge but I just wear these drawstring khakis and there is a lot of excess material. I have the training tomorrow so I went bra shopping at Lane Bryant. I always buy the full coverage cotton underwire bra. 44DD is my highest size but presurgery I was falling out of it and it was on the largest hook and still too tight.  Now I wear a 38DDD in all styles including my old and I hooked it on the tightest setting!!! Very happy with that change. 

My jeans from Lane bryant were a size 24 (Venezia) and once again too tight when I started. I knew I needed to go up in size but refused to admit it and just got "stretch" jeans but still had to suck it in and wear a shirt over stomach.  Now I wear a size 18 at Lane Bryant and did not even suck it in.  I did not try on a 16 I think I was afraid it might not fit.  The 18's were just right not tight. I tried on 1x shirts and they were good too I previously bought 3x.  I bought 2 bras and one pair of 18 bermuda shorts on Memorial Day sale then stopped.  I tried on a very cute outfit with capri slacks, silky sleeveless top and little sweater shrug all in 18 and then I got a little choked up. I lost about 30lbs prior to surgery but kept wearing my old clothes even though they were baggy since I knew surgery was coming. You don't realize how much you have changed until you are in clothes that fit! Now I am just shy of 50lbs down total.

Then the manager came over while I was being rung up and said she wanted to let me know they would be starting a new line in the store that goes down to a size 12 and is a hipper, younger more teen oriented look. I don't know if she told me because I look "young" at age 39 or because I look like I would be a smaller size but she did not tell the customer before or after me. Maybe I just dress like a juvenile? ;-) Still gave me a moment of pondering pleasant reasons she thought I might be interested.

Finally, I the rule follower broke a rule and advanced my dr. eating plan by a day and a half.  I added some soft, chopped food to my diet yesterday evening and I am supposed to not start until tomorrow on June 1st. It was my daughters 18th birthday and we had tacos and burritos so I had some ground turkey meat mixed in with my FF refried beans which does not appear on my approved list until the next stage on June 1. Worked out fine BTW. Tonight I had Fire Roasted Chicken Patty with Fire roasted veggies and swiss cheese from Don Lee Farms.  They are precooked and I got them from Costco. Each patty has 180 cal, 4.5 g fat, 3g Carbs, 25 g protein. A 1/2 patty is about 2.65 oz. I ate 2 oz a little less than 1/2. It was pretty good while the family chowed down on bbq hot dogs. Looking forward to trying eggs this week!

Well, I had my first "stall" early out after only 2 weeks.  Prior to that I was losing about 1-2 lbs a day.  All of week 3 was not just a stall but a few pounds of weight gain.  Posted about it when it first started see some previous blog posts below.  In week 3 I started my pureed/blenderized diet and increased my calories.  This was the appropriate stage to do that and resulted in more strength and stamina for my exercise.  I followed my dr. plan and my calories were around 500 a day so I got a wake up call from the forum posts and they explained that 500 calories did not equal weight gain so I was just retaining fluids or something.  I realized that was a true statement and let it go but it really drove me nuts at first! I measure and weigh everything carefully, I log it in each day at FitDay.com.  I was walking and improving my speed and length every day. 

It was hard to take the advice and keep on with what I was doing.  I wanted to say but look I increased fro 320 calories to about 580 calorie and I stopped losing.  After thinking about it logically I knew that I would need to take these steps and keep increasing my calories so that I could support my increased activity.  I recognized that even on the lowest point total i Weight Watchers I had more than double this number of calories and still lost so I let it be.  I did not change anything and now lost everything I gained and some more.  I guess my body just wanted to resist for a week or so! I weighed in at 210 lb this morning so that go rid of all the regain and a few extra pounds! 

My constipation which may have been part of the problem seems to have resolved itself too!  I have been very sleepy lately so I have been getting a bit more rest also.  Happy to be losing again.  We all have hopes and goals going into this process and I am a great rule follower so perhaps I expected too much at first based on other posts.  Now I am just trying to tell myself it is a journey and based on the steps I am taking I know I will continue to lose for many months to come.  Now, I have learned just not to expect losses every day or week anymore as long as the scale keeps going down eventually!  Maybe someday I can let go of the scale and weigh in monthly but I think I would have to reach a weekly weigh in goal first!  

Normally I sleep like the dead.  I go to bed around 10 pm and don't wake up until the alarm goes off around 5:30 or 6 am.  Lately I have been waking up at 2 am or 4 am and cannot go back to sleep.  This is assuming I got to sleep at all...I have been staying up until about midnight and 1 am.  I actually feel that constipation is part of the problem.  I feel like I need to go and then can't fall asleep or wake up because of it.  My doctor's office does not consider it constipation because I am still going every one to two days and it is not hard, dry or hurt.  However, I am extremely regular and I feel like I need to go even after I do.  They said I could take milk of magnesia.  I really don't like to drink yucky things though so we will see.  I was stressed trying to book hotels for a trip to NYC and DC with my son in June but that is done as of today.  Now I can be stressed about the money I spent ;-)!

First post-op appt this afternoon.  Staples were taken out today!  Such a relief a few stung but most I did not feel at all.  I can drive now so I am looking forward to leaving the house more too.  I do have to say that I wish I did not have to weigh in during the afternoon after consuming all that liquid and protein shakes not to mention clothes.  Normally my scale at home weighs 2 lbs less than the doctor's office every time exactly but of course I weigh naked first thing in the morning after using the restroom so the scale at the doctors office has me a little over a pound heavier than my morning weigh in.  I was tempted to not take anything in before the appointment but that would be negative for the patterns I am trying to establish and give the scale way too much power!  So I forced myself to follow my normal plan and recognized that it was all part of a longer term plan than that one moment.