prncesdancer
Happy One Year
Dec 27, 2010
One year ago.... I've always had an issue with weight. Jenny Craig, Weight Watchers, Scarsdale, Phen Fen, you name it... I was on it even as far back as starting my first diet in 4th grade. I was one of those people who would put 10 pounds on a year, so the weight came on slow enough to not realize what was happening. Although truthfully, the pain in my feet or feeling like I was being tazored in my back should have been enough of a sign for me to realize what was happening. One day I had to go into the DMV to get a new picture and update some information. I did my hair and make-up, put on a cute top and went in. I honestly felt like I looked good. To my surprise, my new DMV picture was horrid. My face was HUGE. It wasn't what I felt I saw in the mirror. It was that day that I decided to look into lap band. August 2009, I went to Dr. Lamar's symposium. I learned all about both procedures and convinced myself that I was the perfect candidate for lap band. Within a week I was sitting in his office for my first Dr. visit and was quickly made aware that I was not a good candidate for lap band. I was told my BMI was too high for any insurance company to cover me and that if I really wanted to see results, I'd need to to gastric. To sum up how I felt, imagine being pro life and then told you need an abortion. The bomb of news that was dropped on me was beyond devastating. I was told I needed to make my decision within the week if I wanted to have surgery that year. For a week, I didn't talk to anyone, I just read article after article about the process, what to expect, more importantly, what was the mortality rate and so on. By the following weeks end, I had made my decision, I was going to go through with it. I'll be honest, there was a part of me that was hurt that more people we're supportive of the surgery but seemed to either ignore or excuse the fact that I could die by having this procedure. I went back to the Dr's and boy did the ball start rolling. My first official Dr's visit with my new decision was in the beginning of September. I sat down with the Dr and expressed my concerns. He helped me put to rest the feeling of hurt from my supporters of the surgery by reminding me that with the path that I was on, I had more of a risk of dying without the surgery than with the surgery. Boy did my eyes open. I forgot that just because I didn't have any health issues then, didn't mean that the next I wouldn't wake up with some or worse yet, not wake up. I got on the scale and was told that all 5 foot 2 of me weighed a whopping 296. HOLY BEEEEEEP. All I kept asking myself was, how did I not notice? The nurse took my picture and said, see this.... wave goodbye. It's the last time you'll look like this again! The next couple of weeks I pushed through all my tests along with pushing the Dr's to get their reports in. As luck would have it, my insurance was changing at the beginning of the year. If I expected to not lose any progress, I needed my surgery to happen in December. Much to everyone's surprise, I accomplished what most felt to be the impossible, I got all my reports back and poof, the surgery date was set. December 29th. The next couple weeks came and went as did the day of surgery. That day was mostly a blur but I recall the nurses cheering me on as they told me I had to walk around the floor to get the blood flowing. So, 3 laps I did. The next day, I was released and home for recover. The first day home was a nightmare. I was so uncomfortable because of all the gas inside of me. No position helped me feel better. Eating, or rather drinking was a joke. I had a medicine cup that I would pour my shake into. One of those little cups took about 45 minutes to drink. How was I ever going to get through this was all I kept telling myself. But.... as time went on, the process got easier and oh how exciting yet scary it was to start introducing new foods back into my diet. I am 3 days shy of hitting my one year and I have to say, this was the best decision I ever made. It was tough but it was the best gift I could have ever given myself. To date, I am down and holding steady at minus 125 pounds. My diet consists of sticking with the concept of "never eat more than 5 ounces" in a sitting. I eat foods high in protein and tons of beans and cheese. I am proud to report that I have only been gnarly sick 2 times and never once have I gone through the dumping syndrome. I came close a few times but never officially went through it. I am able to achieve this by simply steering clear of sugar. I still struggle with self esteem issues. It's strange, I look in the mirror and what I see now is sometimes what I thought I was seeing at my heaviest. Amazing how that works. I have issues with excess skin; enough so that I think if surgically removed, I'd be 20 pounds lighter. This makes it extremely difficult to be proud of what I've accomplished at times. But, like all things in life, we have to give ourselves the much needs pep talk and even swift kick in the ass to realize that I basically lost enough weight to replicate my little sister. Lets see me strap on a 125 pound backpack and try to walk. Maybe then I'll realize just how far I've come. For now, I'll keep one pair of "fat jeans" and when I need a pick me up, I'll step into one leg with my whole body and then say to myself.... you've done it. You made it this far. Daily, I have the fear of putting it back on. I think back to the little cups that I was drinking after surgery as I'm eating 1/2 of my 6 inch sub and I think to myself, what are you doing. But, the reality is, we can't live on just the shakes. Lord knows not the size of those little cups either. If before I was eating a foot long plus 2 bags of chips, then eating 1/2 of a 6 inch really, isn't that bad. Still I can't help by worry so, I step on the scale daily to make sure that my numbers are not going up. I've got 36 more pounds to put me in the Dr. recommended weight class. Yes, I'm a size 14 right now but my BMI still puts me as being obese. Shocking I know! But instead of focusing on the obese factor, I just need to break down that 36 more pounds and figure out how to lose it. Hell, if I could lose 125 in a year, what's another 36 pounds? My best advise to those starting this journey is, don't give into the excuses you allowed yourself to accept before, read other peoples journeys both good and bad and figure out where you fit and how to not agree with the bad advice, but most of all.... keep moving. Someone once said, just because you can, doesn't mean you should. Live by that!!!!
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About Me
Garden Grove, CA
Location
31.5
BMI
Surgery
12/29/2009
Surgery Date
Dec 05, 2009
Member Since
