A.P.B. --- Missing KNEES and CHIN

Mar 23, 2012

So I just took a few pictures of myself. Does anyone ever feel like the opposite of anorexic? Meaning, when I look at myself I don't see what everyone else sees. The pictures I took were horrible, I have no chin and concave knees. I want to cry because I look at that, what I know is got to be grotesque, and I see things I like immediatly. What is wrong with me!?!? It's like a disassociation. I want to hate myself, I want to feel disgusted, I want to look at those pictures and hit my breaking point. But I can't. I wonder why that is? Do other fat people see what I see. Is it just a coping mechanism because the truth is more then I can handle?
Can't think anymore. I think I will print out one of those pictures and keep it with me, look at it often and try to see how I feel about it then.

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