pbear415
My story is not unique. Through high school I was thin and thought nothing of eating everything in sight. Then came real life. I got married and moved away from home. The combination of loneliness, a bad marriage had me eating all the wrong things all day long. The combination of constant eating and NO activity started putting the pounds on. At first I didn't even notice them. I guess in my mind going up a size what just part of growing up. How wrong I was.
Over the years I kept getting more and more depressed which lead to more eating and more weight. Of course by this time I don't like my weight so I get on the diet roller coaster. I have been on this roller coaster for 23 years now. Funny thing is I HATE roller coasters. The speed and hills scare me. My weight as with roller coasters there's aways the uphill rise after the downhill fall. The only difference is the rise in weight is always faster and higher than the fall.
I have gone through all the emotions. I have felt embarassed, ashamed, like a loser and even like an outsider with my own family. Being overweight has caused me to become shy and to keep to myself most of the time. I am overall a very happy and optimistic person. But I have felt, and many times still do, the emptiness so great I wanted to kill myself. I did try that once 21 years ago. God saved me then and he's now saving me again. He has lead me to this decision and will see me through this process and change. I thank God for always being there for me and being patient. With his help and the support of my family and friends I will find "me" again. The real me that's been hiding behind all the fat.
