The road so far..

Jan 20, 2014

Its been one year since my rny and I am feeling great. I have had a few slip ups along the way, as well as a few stalls that have left me wondering at the time if I was ever going to start losing weight again. I have had a lot of ups and downs emotionally,but I have made it through. I have gone from wearing a size 28 jeans and a size 3x top to a size 14-16 jeans and a size XL top. I have also gotten to the point where even though I see that I have lost weight, when I stall I sometimes feel as if I am the same size I used to be or that I am not doing enough to lose more weight. That is what made me make the video I am going to share. I wanted to do something different to celebrate my one year post op so I took a bunch of pictures of myself from before surgery and then some from after.

I added the song "If I ever leave this world alive" By Flogging Molly because to me its like the part of me that was afraid to be myself and afraid of what people would think of me, that part of me has died. Even though I am glad I am not that person anymore, I  am somewhat sad to see that part of me go, that mask I used to wear to keep myself safe and keep others at a distance s gone now but it was part of me for most of my life. I wrote a poem to go with the video which I believe explains my feelings towards myself now pretty well.

I was afraid of who I used to be and who I would become

I hid myself behind a mask and shied away from the sun

But now I'm not afraid of who I am today

I am the person Id been striving for the only person I could be

I am wonderful and beautiful but most of all I am ME.  

If anyone watches the video please feel free to comment or share it, 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xj-NNYyLyVg

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