nsw112380
I look at photos of myself from elementary school and I have no idea who the person is. I started gaining weight toward the end of 5th grade. I have been a big girl since. I have been told my reasons are depression, family history of obesity, lack of exercise, etc and I know all are true. Right now I have the endless cycle of being depressed because I am heavy, heavy cause I eat, and eat cause I'm depressed. Getting the surgery is my last hope. I am scared and excited all at the same time. I have two beautiful little girls that I miss playing with. It hurt to even sit on the floor for 5 minutes to do anything with them. My five yrs old tell me she wishes I wasn't fat because then I could play with her. Rips my heart out every time. My youngest just turned a year old so all she knows is mommy is fluffy and comfortable to sleep on. My husband is great and supporting me with my decision. He says he just wants me to be happy again. I figure if he loves me heavy...he'll love me thinner too, right. I have hit my highest weight right now and it has caused high blood pressure, pain in the back, knees, and ankles. I know there is going to be a lot of pain after the surgery but I figure it is worth it to see my girls grow up. They are worth anything.....
