niceeyes72
my first year.....
Mar 22, 2013
Tomorrow will be my "surgaversary".... my new birthday!!!
I have many things to be grateful for.... I have gone from 4-5X to a M in some cuts of clothing. I have energy, stamina and strength. Scale-wise, I have gone from 325 lbs with this surgery to 191.2 lbs in 52 weeks..... WOW!! I put a picture of me on Facebook yesterday and the number of comments I got was overwhelming. From "I always new you were pretty" to "who are you?!" I wanted to take the picture down because the compliments made me feel uncomfortable....I am still fighting with the head games this surgery doesn't fix.... No, I am not in therapy and I probably should be.... A friend of mine strongly feels it should be mandatory and I tend to agree but I get more help from talking with her than I feel I could get from a "stranger" who hasn't been through this.... I can still be an emotional basket case when it comes to what I have put my body through....I still miss certain foods but then I think to myself, "where would I be today if I hadn't have been given this gift?" Probably heavier than the 325 and more miserable than ever....
I have been pretty well house-bound this winter...Stopped running because I felt too cold, tried the running on the treadmill but couldn't do it.... So I started some basic weight training.... I have noticed my arms are less wrinkly and getting toned. That is one of the many things that I am struggling with now...The new body image issues... Before it was too big but i had nice skin...Now, I am smaller but everything sags and looks like a Shar Pei puppy....I knew that was one of the trade offs but I guess I was hoping it wouldn't happen to me.... Silly me!!! Still no regrets!!!
My relationship is still intact which is an accomplishment in itself...I was afraid of the statistics.... We love each other greatly and yet we still struggle.... We both have issues to work through as long as we try, things will be ok!! 4 kids in the house can take a toll on a blended family!!
My weight loss has slowed right down to a halt!!!....it fluctuates by 2-3 lbs and I am worried I am done losing.... I do not want to be done yet. I want to get to 175 lbs and I don't think it is too unrealistic for my 5'7" frame.... so many have been where I started and go as low as 120.... I don't want to get that low for me and but I also don't want to be this close to the 200 mark...I worry about rebound.... The RPN yesterday wanted me to keep in mind that the scale is not the only reference....MY clothes, and how I feel are what I need to pay attention to and that I lift weights needs to be taken into account...Muscle weights more than fat.... I know that but still...It's all in my head and i guess this is where a therapist would probably help.... Vicious cycle!!!
Well, I think that is about it for now....I still have not put up any photos....maybe one day soon....
Take care everyone.... Enjoy the ride....It's a great thrill with many ups and downs....
Tam
