Shelley J.

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Happy Holidays to All! 

My weight is fairly stable as I weighed in today at 146.  I generally hover somewhere around there (give or take 3 lbs).  I am struggling with eating enough and my protein intake isn't what it should be. I don't currently have a very diverse diet and really need to work on that.  I find I stick with the tried and true and that is limiting me a lot. 

I made it to a support group meeting for the first time in months at OCM and it was great to see folks and their successes since I last went.  There were a lot of newbies and I wish I could tell them how much their lives are about to change.  I see them looking unsure, scared, and uncomfortable in their own skin and just want to put my arms around them and let them know it will be okay - it will likely even be great! I sensed some of them looking at me like I used to look at other people - like "what is she doing here?" - but hope they know - I was there - just like them only 10 months ago...hoping I was making the right choice - unsure of what the next year would hold. 

So my focus for this month has to be nutrition.  Diversifying my diet, eating more regularly, and getting in my protein and vitamins EVERYDAY.  Oh - and drinking water...I have had success - but I need to be successful long term and my current habits - aren't going to keep me healthy.  It is still a journey - still a learning experience and I KNOW I am worth investing in... RIGHT OHers? Right! - So to the web to search out some alternative meal options and to plan my menu.... 

Other updates: We are buying a home - which is exciting - but also stressul.  Many ups and downs with that - AND - - - drumroll - - - - I am starting my Masters degree in January!!! I'm very excited.  Since you all were there for the Bachelors - I thought I would share.

I have committed to mysel not to let my life get in the way of OH and even with school on top of working - I am keeping that committment.  "Seeing" you all and "hearing" from you makes all the difference in my day to day.

(((Hugs))) & Happy Holidays!

One year ago, I couldn't have foreseen my life today.  For that, I am thankful. 
My weight is under control, I even reached my goal! and I have met some wonderful, loving, giving people here on this board! I am so very thankful for that! 

This journey is so much more than weigh loss.  It is recognition of who you are, where you are, and why it is your physical appearance affects your ability to be yourself.  It is a realization of societies perception of you as a fat person - and you as an average/skinny person - and how differently you are treated.  It is disheartening really .  I am the same person - and yet now - I am so much better received by strangers.  I will not be that person.  I will not forget I have been there.  My only hope is that I can hold my tongue and not share my story with those who may not care or want to hear it. 

I want to tell the hopeless - there is hope.  I want to stop women who look lost in their own bodies and say - STOP - don't give up - there are options!
But realize - I would likely offend and humiliate them.  It is like knowing a secret to a new level of happiness and wanting to share it - but knowing if someone had approached me with the same 1 year ago - I would have probably gone home and cried and cried and cried.  "you noticed! - you felt I needed you to tell me?" - UGH! 

My life is renewed.  I am happy to be me.  I like to shop, I like to look in the mirror and I like to get pictures taken again.  I'm not afraid of what people think when they see me.  I am not ashamed - I am proud that I took control of my life- my health - and my being - and did something about the burden I carried so long. 

I am happy - 

I couldn't have taken this journey without all of you and know it is only beginning.  For your shoulder to lean on - I thank you, for your understanding - I thank you, for sharing your lives and your stories - I thank you. 

My life has been enriched by this experience and the people I have met here.  Thank you! 

I hope you are all enjoying your families today and are also thankful in your daily lives. 

Love you all my OH family! 
Shelley

Date	Weight	Change
2/5/2007	284.5	0.0
2/20/2007	258	26.5
3/19/2007	235.5	49.0
3/26/2007	232.5	52.0
4/6/2007	224	60.5
4/24/2007	217	67.5
4/27/2007	214	70.5
5/2/2007	212	72.5
5/18/2007	203	81.5
5/26/2007	196	88.5
6/1/2007	193.5	91.0
6/9/2007	188.5	96.0
8/5/2007	169.4	115.1
10/21/2007	150.7	133.8
11/20/2007	146.4	138.1

So my 6 mth follow up - turned out to be an 8 month follow up but I got in there right?  Dr. Ali was great as usual - friendly, warm and kind.  He was pleased with my weightloss and shocked I met goal already.  It was nice to hear him say it.  "You're there! Congratulations!" - I asked him about my pre-op picture and he showed it to me... WOW! I forget sometimes what a difference there is since February of this year! It is shocking really.  Dr. Ali even called in his Office Manager to check out the difference and it was nice to enjoy the attention versus 9 months ago trying to disappear when someone wanted to look at me. 

We discussed plastics and he said since I had reached goal, I could start looking into it anytime now.  The idea of having a flat stomach minus the hanging skin is weird...I haven't had a flat stomach in my LIFETIME! EVER! Not as a child - not even as an infant given my whopping 10.1 lbs at birth! The "Rusing roll" (as my brother and I so often called it) is genetic and comes from my mothers side of the family (hence the name "Rushing") and I didn't see a day in my life with out it)

So Phase 2 of the transformation begins...

Well...I feel like a stranger to the OH group at this point and it is clealry a loss on my part.  I haven't been to a support group of anykind (OH Event or otherwise) in months and it is weird that many of the people I now know never knew me as "big" Shelley - and only know me as I am today.

I am down to 150 (got as low as 149) but it goes up and down.  I am wearing a size 10 now and am considered "normal" as far as the BMI chart goes.  What a wild ride it has been over the past 8 months.  I am still adjusting to the woman I see in the mirror.  I like her - I even love her on some days - but to see such a dramatic change in such a short time is mind boggeling.  My family is all worried about my health.  I am being told it is time to stop losing now and I stuggle with eating enough everyday.  Without the cues of hunger being as "serious" as they were before, it just isn't as urgent a need.  Then, when I eat, I am done almost as soon as I start given the amount I can intake.  So it is snacks for me.  I am stuggling with my love of chocolate a bit.  I don't get dumping as some do and as my family tells me to maintain I don't feel the guilt of eating it.  I know I need to add more calories, and what better way right?  wrong! Old habits die hard! 

I still haven't had a soda in 8 months and that has been hard at times.  I sometimes miss my ability to enjoy food as I did in the past.  Going out to eat is not what it used to be.  In fact, it seems almost wasteful! But - alas, I cannot really complain - I am just acknowledging the social changes that come along with this surgery as well.  

To those who are losing slower...Let me say that I am not typical in my loss and the pace at which I have done it.  I KNOW others have a more difficult time.  I also know that many say the faster losers and slower losers even out over 12-18 months.  So don't compare - just be happy with your own progression toward a healthier you! It is so important not to get wrapped up in numbers and to make sure you are taking care of YOU!  

That's my 2 cents worth this morning.  I will check back after my Dr.'s appointment on the 30th.

This new job is really harshing my ability to get the support I need here on OH.  Once an active member, I feel like a visitor amoung my OH family and I DON'T LIKE IT! I'm working 12-14 hour days, then the family likes to see me on occassion and then I am OUT! I have a good amount of energy - its just a lot to transition to after being home for 14 mths going to school. 

THE GOOD NEWS - - - I weigh 160 lbs!!! That's down 124.5 since surgery! I have to run! more later! 

MISS YOU ALL! 
SJ

So I see a commercial on TV for Old Navy's new jeans and decided that it would be cool to be able to go and get something I see advertised for the "average" woman right?  That in and of itself is a blessing.  But then, I grab the 14s in every new style and when I get to the dressing room - they are too big!  A 14 is TOO BIG!!! Are you kidding me?  I try on the 12s and they fit perfectly!  I had a pair of 12s I SQUOZE into not that long ago - but lets just say that by mid-day - I was praying for the ability to breath.  NOW - Not only did one pair fit in 12s, but they all did AND so did a pair of dress pants! 
FREAKIN' WOOTIE - HOO!!! SIZE 12! This is the size I said I wanted to be when I got this surgery - and here I am! :) 

Tomorrow is my Angelette's BIG DAY - (GO JEAN!!) - and I am excited and nervous for her.  Only nervous because I know she is - but happy for her beyond words!  Keep her in your thoughts (if you are reading this today) tomorrow. 

Love you guys - more later!

Today is my 6 month surgiversary and I am thrilled to say I have lost 115.5 lbs!!! Yea ME!!! It has been trying at times, but overall, I wouldn't change a thing! I am so excited for everyone who is entering this journey as I know it will give them a second chance to live life "out loud"!! - It is a great experience and I thank the Universe for it!!

Life is definately busy right now - which is why it has taken me so long to post again.  I have a new job, I am angel to two wonderful people on this board - Monic P. & Jean - and summer travel to see family in Mississippi has taken me away from home.  

Things related to WLS are going great! I have lost 110 lbs so far and am only 24 away from my goal weight.  I would have never thought I would be in this position in 6 months - but I am thankful! I am wearing a size 14 right now and if my weight loss stopped now - I wouldn't complain.  However, getting into a 10 would be ideal.  I told myself I wouldn't get crazy hoping for a size 5 or less.  I think I look better as a more "average" sized person than skinny minny - but truthfully - I haven't worn a size 5 since I was around 12. So........ things are good.  I still have issues eating slow enough at times, and getting all the water in is a challenge with the 30 minute rule of eating and drinking (especially now that I am working).  BUT - again, no complaints. I feel healthy and have gained a quality of life I thought wasn't possible for me just 6 months ago. 

This board, and its members, never cease to amaze me in their support and knowledge.  I value the relationships I have built here a great deal and find more and more people coming online which increases my circle of friends all the time.  I am blessed to have found you guys.

Carla & Stacie were fantastic angels to me and I just love them for it. 
I just hope I can be there for my angelettes as you were for me.  I am finding the process of being an angel very rewarding and hope everyone takes the time to get one of their own.  It just helps to have a specific someone on your team, to support you, educate you, and cheer for you along the way! 

Thats it for now - Hopefully it won't be another month before I post. 
Love yall! 
ME

I went to see Dr. Ali for my checkup and everything is going well.  He told me to expect the last 20-30lbs to go much slower.  I weighed and am down to 188.5!! That is 96 freakin' pounds!  Holla!!!!

Everything else is going well.  That's all for now!