It's Hitting Me Fast & Hard

Nov 23, 2011

 I found out the news right as I pulled out of my driveway on my way to see my nutritionist over in Campbell, CA. The doctor’s office in Mountain View, CA called to let me know that the insurance approved my bariatric surgery…on the first try. I had scheduled the surgery for December 19^th because I had the shadow of a doubt that I’d be denied after the first letter and have it pushed back a couple months more. Not the case here.

I’ve taken the necessary steps needed to qualify for the procedure while also taking care of myself by losing weight in preparation (I started at 345lbs and am now down to 313lbs). Although I’m still trying to get under 300lbs before December 19^th, I am once again, having “thoughts.”

Thoughts of: “You’ve lost 32 lbs. in two-and-a-half months…You CAN do it on your own.”

And then there are other thoughts of: “WHAT-IF you slip up again and gain it all back?”  

Back and forth:

“It’s only a tool, it’ll hold you responsible for your own well-being.”

“WHAT-IF you get too skinny, have too much loose skin, stretch marks… etc. How will you remedy that?”

“You’ll feel and look so much better.”  

“WHAT-IF you lose too much lean muscle mass?”

Along with all of that there's the never-ending struggle to attain the proper fluid ounces along with protein grams on a daily basis how will I meet them?

Just random thoughts flying through my head everyone.  It’s happening so fast.

 I’d just thought I’d share in hoping that someone would care.

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