Ms Shell
April 2008
Apr 22, 2008
Onto weight loss. Well looking over my numbers I discovered in a 4 week period, I would remain the same wk 1, gain wk 2 and lose lose week 3-4. Although this month I expected wk 3 to be the great loss that it normally was but alas 1.2lbs. Which is 1.2lbs...nothing to sneeze at.
4 month update
Some days I see the difference others I don't. It's not that I don't see my size changing it's just ALL I have ever seen was my beauty beyond my fat so now I don't see size but that same bubbly beauty that I have ALWAYS seen and been in love with.
Today I will reset my ticker for 250lbs. I have no doubt that I WILL be there by the end of this month. So here's to April 28th and 250lbs.
When I reach 250lbs I have lost 17% of my starting weight of 302.6
When I reach 250lbs I have lost 41% of MY excess weight (goal 175)
When I reach 250lbs I have lost 36% of my DRs excess weight (goal 155)
God speed to everyone who reads my profile and is touched by MY journey. No matter where you are in the journey, pre/post/unsure. Just remember to LOVE yourself like GOD loves you. You are perfectly made in HIS image. Be good to yourselves and LOVE yourselves, flaws and ALL.
3 month update
It's been a learning curve and I really need to get on the ball and exercise. I know I know but no matter what it's easier said then done. I can tolerate EVERYTHING just in very small quantities. I weigh and measure EVERYTHING, but I was doing that before surgery so it's totally no big deal. The only time I dont' weigh and measure is when I eat out (which isn't often).
The best thing about this surgery is how the hunger and things I suffered from pre-op. Before all I had to do was think or talk about something and I HAD to have it. Now I can be sitting in a room full of food and not give in the way I used to. My VSG has been a true blessing.
What would I change? Definitely exercising more. Hopefully today will be the turning point in that aspect. Here's to my continued success.
March 2008
Today I weighed 265.6 that's a loss of 37lbs since surgery. It still amazes me as I haven't been ANYTHING under 300 since like 1989. Hello considering it's 2008 that's a LONG time ago. I take each day as it comes to me. As I am blessed to be here and will REJOICE that the Lord doesn't need me and allows me to continue on this earth and to REJOICE in my weight loss. Which is weird cause this journey that I'm on really isn't about weight...it's about happiness and I dont' know how to handle the weight loose because I've ALWAYS been Happy. I don't know if I'm waiting for a "certain" weight or what. It's weird, so like I said I'll just REJOICE in each and every day. And celebrate the NSV and scale victories of MY friends.
This weekend I celebrated the LAST of my birthday and boy did I get drunk. I learned that well alcohol in LARGE quantities is NOT my friend, but my friends had a good time and I hope to hang again with them and have fun and frolic!!
I can't wait to see what the end of this month brings. My goal you ask? Well my goal is to be 259 by 3/24. So no more alcohol and carbs, lol. Everyone continue to be blessed on your journeys to better health and happiness. No matter where you are LOVE yourselves and God loves you!
Pic of me and the girls partying!! A BLAST had by ALL
March 18, 2008 ~ Perplexed and distraught BUT determined
So I gained this week and well I just can't believe it. I "think" I'm doing everything I need to do to be healthy?? My carbs are low, My protein high, I haven't been drinking so what seems to be the problem?? Last time this month when I gained I could look back over the week and SEE what was going on. This week not so much. So what is a girl to do you ask??
Keep plugging at it. This gain has made me EVEN more determined to loose weight. I am the same weight I ended the month last month. I have TWO weeks before my 4 month surgiversary and by God at the very least I will be down to 262.2 which gives me 40lbs loss. I like loosing an average of 10lbs a month and I'll be damned if it won't happen this month.
Wish me luck and say a prayer. Everyone be blessed on your journey to better health!
February 2008
February 4, 2008 ~ Revelations/Recommitments etc
Here I am entering the month of my birth at 275lbs. I can't remember the last time I weighed this. In looking over my old journals and just being conscious of my own weight I did weigh near or over 300lbs since 1990 give or take a year. How can I even conseptualize that I am 25lbs UNDER that weight? It truly is a blessing and as always my honor is to God for making it possible.
Since my mother passed December 2006 it is hard for me to celebrate my birthday month with the same vigor. My mother joined me in my insanity that this month was all about ME and she made great strides to be the FIRST to wish me a Happy Birthday, so when Shelluary (aka February) rolls around I'm sad. I miss her terribly and wish she could be here for all the joy that I have. I only know that she brought me so much joy and support. It is because of her that I am the woman that I am. I can't wait to see you again Jessie and discuss all my antics like always. I love you mom...
This month will be different from the last 2 months because I will be hitting the gym. Similar to how I hit it before I got derailed in June...just 25 oops 28lbs lighter!! Exercise is not the ugly word that many of us call it, but a necessary part of this journey that we have CHOSEN to embark on. My plan is to work out 4 times a week minimum 30 minutes per day (going for 45...shoot for the moon right!!).
I'm starting the month at 274.2...can't wait to see where I end!!
February 11, 2008 ~ 10% lost!! 271.8
WOW I can't remember the last time I LOST 10%. It was always a goal that illuded me no matter how many times I did Weight Watchers. In fact I'm willing to admit that I often QUIT long before the 10% was reached after MONTHS of doing WW. I have achieved in less then 3 months what I couldn't or didn't on WW for several months. It's such a feeling of accomplishment! Again not trying to offend anyone, BUT this surgery, this tool, has made it so EASY to do what I need to do.
Here I am again less then 3 months and feeling wonderful. I'm making my lunches and breakfasts and measuring and everything and living a life that I was meant to live. A life that isn't controlled by food. A friend was over this weekend and commented on how "MUCH" effort I seemed to put into my preparation. When on the outside looking in, yes I MEASURE and WEIGH almost EVERYTHING...down to an onion, lol. But it helps me to be in control and accountable to me for everything I eat.
This week I'm dragging my girlfriend along for my cooking ride. It's cool because now I can still cook the food and not have to worry that it's going to take me a month or two to eat it. I cook for both of us and she eats with me...you can't beat that right?? It's much cheaper too.
So anyway I just wanted to share my 10% victory with you all. God bless you on your journey to live healthier lives!
February 22, 2008 ~ My Weight Gain confession
History: About a month back on the VSG forum we had discussions about eating whatever you wanted and that being a benefit of the VSG because we can tolerate "most" foods. We had pros and cons (as with everything else in life). Fast forward...
My Birthday week: 
Well I don't know where to start. So I'll start last Monday 2/11. I hopped on that scale and it read 271.8 I was so elated cause I wanted to be 260something by the following Monday 2/18. I mean I was working out and eating right so why not right? Well here comes the history. Starting that next day 2/12 I honestly "forgot" I wanted to be 260, cause from that day and for an ENTIRE week. I ate whatever I mean whatever I wanted (very very small portions) but still whatever OH and I drank 
whatever I wanted. I mean afterall (I rationalized) no matter what I ate or drank it wouldn't be near as MUCH as it was presurgery.
Cons: Yes for every action there is a REACTION. My occured on 2/18 when I jumped my sexy ass on the scale and it had the "nerve" to read 275.2 (that's right a gain of 3.4). I was shocked for about 10 minutes...until I sat down and looked at the past week and the carbs and alcohol that passed my lips. It was frightening once I looked at it ALL 
Pros: OMG can you believe I can find a pro. Well the pro is I had WLS and the one I had was the VSG which helps control the hunger and for the FIRST time in my LIFE of "dieting" and falling off the wagon. I was able to jump right back on program with LITTLE to no effort 
AND I don't feel deprieved or like I'm on a diet. After my 10 minute eye-opening pity party I decided that I needed to reign in the carbs back to 40-50 and just do it. It took me 3 days but I'm happy to report today that I am down to 271.4 (I loss the gain plus .4)
Conclusion: Well I can only say that sometimes we have to realize that bad habits are HARD to break. My birthday to ME is like the holidays for everyone else. I do it and do it BIG and in the future I will watch that and be more mindful in 2009. This journey I'm on (to me) is not about perfection, it's about learning and understanding my life, my mind, my body and my spirit. For the first time in my life I am able to do that WITHOUT the nawing hunger of yesteryear.
I don't know if it's just me, but after I had this surgery and wasn't hungry anymore I could see how I WAS hungry all the time and food was my focus on food had a catalyst that I don't have anymore. I'm so thankful for my VSG and this post week has shown me, that I am even with my slip more in control then I have ever been!
Be blessed on your journeys and thanks for letting me share and being here for me to share.
January 2008
I decided that I'd start my January 2008 post with how I got my VSG through Kaiser. I know many of US have Kaiser and when we start their Options program it seems like the ONLY option is the RNY well I'm here to tell you it's NOT! The doctors at Kaiser perform the RnY, DS, VSG & LapBand so if you are reading this just go through the class BUT educate yourself about your WLS Options!!
In October 2006 I decided I wanted WLS but the band. I was going to change insurance but after reading Kaisers site I didn't change. On November 1st I heard that Kaiser did NOT do the LapBand which sucked because my open enrollment was from Oct 1 to Oct 31 so I would be stuck with Kaiser for another year. So I began my journey...all the while hearing from the OPTIONS folks that Kaiser ONLY did RnY but occassionally hearing that some people got the LapBand...well I knew that I WOULD be one of those people.
June 2007 after being on the LapBand and reading ALL the posts to Dr Curry a young lady wrote about the LapBand and the VSG asking his opinion and mentioned that she had a 6 month program. Well I went to her profile and based on what it said sent her a message if she had Kaiser...well YES she did and her Dr Kane at Kaiser Harbor City was offering her either the LapBand or VSG. Well up until that point I hadn't heard of the VSG so I visited the forum. After about 2 weeks I made this post http://www.obesityhelp.com/forums/VSG/board_id,5463/cat_id,5063/topic_id,3324346/a,messageboard/action,replies/#25750853 it was like I found what I had been looking for...BUT...since Kaiser kept saying they only did RnY. Well I'm like a dog with a bone, once I get a hold of it there is no letting go and as I've said. I KNEW of a Kaiser Dr who did the VSG so there was no way in hell I wasn't going to get one!!
October 1, 2007 LAST Options class!! I had one make up class the next week so everything was on hold until I finished that class. During that week I made it a point to talk to my teacher and start getting the blood work done etc. I had to repeat a few tests, but everything with bloodwork was done by the end of October and I told Options that I wanted my surgery done with Kaiser Harbor City. I was told I would get a call within a week.
November 8, 2007 I got the call to come in for the consult but it wasn't with Dr. Kane it was with Dr. Belzberg. I immediately start thinking damn he might not do the VSG...what am I going to do?
November 13, 2007 my consult with Dr. Belzberg...I went in all set to "demand" my VSG. We talked about ALL the surgeries RnY, DS, VSG, LapBand and he gave me his opinion on all of them. I told him I wanted the VSG, he asked why, I told him and then he dropped the bombshell...they had a cancellation on November 26th and did I want it. Nervously I said yes and the rest they say is history.
Please read my post on the link I provided. I decided against the LapBand because as I was doing my research I had about 2 pages of questions and concerns my own and from people posting. And still I told myself these things, like slips, erosions, PB flipped port, infected port, problem fills, refills, unfills, etc would never happen to ME! I would be the perfect Band patient. In the same breath I saw "perfect" band patients start having complications etc. Mind you I spent 8 months on the band board reading and researching and was hell bent on getting one. THEN I heard about the VSG. I spent less then 1 month and there you have it!!
I wanted the LapBand over the RnY because I didn't want ANYONE touching my intestines. I wanted the LapBand over the RnY because I fell that I just need something that reduces the amount of food I can eat. I didn't want the LapBand because it was reverseable or any of that. I wanted a surgery that reduced the amount of food I can eat and well I have that in the VSG and without all the possible complications and maintenance of the LapBand.
January 26, 2008 - 2 months!! Down 25lbs
Well it's been a long road, but a GLORIOUS one and I owe ALL honor and Glory to God. For it is HIM that sacraficed his son that I am may be here. And here I am...2 months out and down 25lbs! Hard to believe especially since I'm fitting in a 22/24 these day. Can't remember the last time that happend. And I'm going through old clothes thinking wow I was a nice THICK sexy chica!! Size means nothing to me, but I "FEEL" wonderful! I still haven't started to work out but I will. These freaky rain storms aren't helping any.
So what advice would I give those coming behind me? START exercising as I am about to. Should have done it 2 months ago but it's never to late to start. Remember those words "IT'S NEVER TO LATE TO START!" No matter what's going on and if you eating isn't perfect, you can always take control and live a new!! Start living your best life ever!!
Be blessed in your journey to a better you...you and your family deserve you at your best!
December 2007
Saturday Dec 8, 2007 ~ Thank you...new beginning
Today I weighed 288.8. The last time I weighed this was several months ago and in 2 weeks I have gotten down then when I couldn't in several months. I have made my weigh date Saturday but I believe I'll change it to Monday to coincide with surgery and well maybe to jump start my week right?
This surgery is such a blessing. When I set out on my WLS journey I wanted one thing to start over. To start my life with a new stomach. While I have enjoyed being 300lbs (actually I've enjoyed loving myself no matter what) I do realize that I was abusing myself. At the same time I didn't know how to stop. It's hard to explain to someone that you can be hungry ALL day and that just the mere mention of food MOVES you. But I can say that since surgery that isn't the point anymore.
Now I have removed for good 85% of my stomach and with that the hormon (I believe called Grehlin) that drives hunger and I know that this is what has given me my new start.. Dare I say this is the EASY way out. Yup I'll say it. It IS easy for me to eat 500-700 calories when my stomach is about the size of 2 shot glasses. It IS easy for me not to eat because I'm NOT hungry. Did my surgery hurt? Hell yeah it was like doing 1000 sit ups and then having an elephant plop down. But all in all God has truly blessed me with my new beginning.
Monday December 17, 2007 ~ Wow this is almost easy
It's hard for me to say those words because being on both sides of WLS I know many on the outside looking in say "it's the easy way out" and others of us on the inside looking out think "you must be kidding having major surgery is NOT the easy way". So what do I say. Well I am NOT sorry to say that so far my experience with this is by far EASY. I struggled so much trying to loose weight and maintain my portions while always in the back there was this RAGING hunger that was never really satisfied. Now don't get me totally wrong just today I told a friend how tired I was of eating like 1/4-1/2 cup solid food and feeling like Thanksgiving, but I would not trade it for the later.
All in all I have nothing but positive things to say about my new small tummy and I can't wait to be enjoying my new eating habits in years to come!
Saturday December 22, 2007 ~ ONE Month (or 4 weeks whichever)!!
Today I'm happy to report my weight is 281.4, down 21.2lbs from 302.6. An average of 5lbs a week, an average I can live with. It's been an interesting month. I can eat about 1-2oz of chicken or fish and 1/2 cup of yogurt, chili, soup etc. My goal is 60-80 g protein per day. Some days are easier then others. It's just really weird NOT being hungry. Food holds almost NO interest. It's a blessing (to have the freedom from food) and a curse (almost wanting to eat more but not being able to which is also a blessing because it was my over eating that got me in this mess to begin with).
I'm sure everyone say this in the beginning at least but I LOVE my VSG. I love it because it has taken away my overwhelming desire for food I'm just a month out and I feel normal. I often remember my friends saying words like I forget to eat (who the f*c* forgets to eat). BUT now I am finding that I do indeed forget to eat. I have to have more control because NOT eating is just as unhealthy as OVER eating. It'll be much easier once I'm back at work. Before I would be structured AT work and out of control at home, so I have no doubt that if I'm this chill at home (thank you Jesus) that once I'm back at work it'll be smooth sailing.
I can't really think of anything else to report for anyone reading this. Just know that you MUST be ready mentally and spiritually to CHANGE. You MUST be ready to face your demons HEAD ON and TACKLE them. Pre-surgery my biggest demon was BOREDOM eating, when I was home alone FOOD was always on my mind. I give all praises to God and the surgery for that not being the case. Now I talk to my friends, I chat on the computer, I chill, I veg, I do lots of things BUT I DON'T eat!!
I've had no nausea and again for anyone reading this post. Make sure to tell your anesthesiologist that you have nausea after surgeries and to PLEASE give you DRUGS for nausea. I can't say 100% if that why I didn't/don't have any nausea problems, I just know I got the tip from someone else's profile who hasn't had a nausea problem and well I haven't had one either. Take that with a grain of salt if you like.
Be blessed in your journey to a better, healthier YOU!
Monday December 31, 2007 ~ Damn SCALE
In all honesty that 281.4 lasted all of 1 day. I was then back to 285.4 for the rest of the week. It's so bad that today I REFUSE to weigh. Yup no "official" weigh in for me. Instead I measured myself. I was going to on the first of the year but today is as good a day as any. Even more so since I won't be weighing. I'm happy to report that indeed I'm loosing inches. I'll let you in on a secret...I almost want to think negatively LIKE I'll never get lower then 285. After all I was here back in June and went back UP, but I won't give the evil scale satisfaction! Seeing the inches in my clothes was one thing. SEEING them with my measurements HELPED tremendously and motivated me to get my behind in motion.
If you are reading this check out my favorite site http://www.sparkpeople.com my handle is msladyshell. It's a a place where you can track your calories, protein etc. Plus log your cardio and it gives you some strength training exercises you can do in the privacy of your own home.
Goodbye 2007. It has been my utmost pleasure meeting you and experiencing you. I know that your sister 2008 will be my year, after all she's a girl, lol!! Here's to an even better 2008 and achieving all I want, need and most of all deserve...
God Bless you all in your journey's to better people!!
November 2007
November 9, 2007 ~ My saga ends my journey continues
I think I'm going to be sick. Well on Friday I got the call that I have my consult scheduled for today! I was freaking out the whole weekend. Part of me was excited, the other part was nervous. I mean who would I become after surgery. I'm spent the last 24 years LOVING Michelle and now I'm about alter my reality. I've been 300lbs about 17 years that I can remember and NOW what? Who will I be and will I even like her?
November 13, 2007 ~ OMG I have a date...
That date is Monday November 26, 2007 a mere 13 days from today. Am I READY. I guess so because I said YES when the doctor said I have this date open. So here I go scared and nervous and sad cause my mother won't be here to take care of me. She was always my rock and always there for me...
November 25, 2007 ~ My date is tomorrow...
Wow I can't believe my date is actually here. Today I'm rather calm but you should have seen me a few days ago. It's to be expected so all is good. I'm about to embark on a new life with untold adventures. At 300lbs my entire adult life I have MANY MANY adventures I can't wait to see the skinnier version of me can come up with...I've left her some big shoes to fill. Watch me become like a school mom..NOT.
Here's to the unknown...
October 2007
Well guys it's been a LONG LONG road but last night was my LAST #24 the grand finale class for Kaiser. In looking back over the 24 weeks from this side. I'm glad I was there. Was there a wealth of knowledge? Not really cause I had been on these wonderful boards for 3 months before the class started. Did I learn some things about MYSELF. That I did indeed and I am better for thise experience. Of course I believe I'm better after ANY experience. For anything you start and complete is a blessing even if you don't know it going in!
So what's going to happen now you ask? The Case Manager came into class last night and basically told us. Our file goes from our instructor, to the nurse to look at our labs and then to his office for surgeon referral.
I've "decided" that I want my surgery anytime after November 20th. I've got way to much planned over the next two months. By the end of October I'll know more. OMG I'm almost a "Loser!"
October 17, 2007 ~ Kaiser Saga continues...
So I reported almost 2 weeks ago that it was the end, right?!! Well I was wrong. Let me give you a run down of my last few weeks. I did my exit bloodwork early (yeah me or so I thought). On October 4th I got a hold of the Nurse who reviews the paperwork and was told that she was missing the B1 blood test (or maybe) and to give her a call on Monday. Mon October 8th...yup no results and well my urine has some bacteria, oh and my blood count is low so they want to test my stool. So off I go to Kaiser on October 9th, do more urine and pick up 3 day stool sample kit! I call on Oct 11th, Oct 12, Oct 15 FINALLY a call back. Hmmm you urine still not right and your poop test (for pylori I believe) unable to be processed. Oct 16 off to Kaiser, more urine, return 3 day poop kit and pick up cup for big poop test. Returned poop this morning!
I am patient to a fault, but I promise you if I need to poop or pee ONE more time I'm going to choke somebody! To be continued...
October 29, 2007 ~ Almost there?!...
Left a message for and got a return call from Rob the Case Manager (who appearently left me a message at home)! Anyway I am APPROVED and my file is on it's way to the Surgeon. I selected Dr. Robert Zane @ Kaiser Harbor City. He's the only doctor with Kaiser that does not only the RNY but the LapBand and more importantly the VSG. So here's to me getting what I want!
September 2007
September 11, 2007 ~ Just through (almost)
Cried? Done that...
Screamed? Done that...
Frustrated? Been there done that bought the shirt...
So last night was class 21 in Kaiser. And I weighed 298.0, just 3 lbs less then I started at 301.0. I have no one to blame but myself. I'd almost feel like a failure if I wasn't always so damn determined to do this for the last time.
I have 3 weeks left to these wonderful Kaiser classes and them some plus weeks until I have surgery and I have to give it my all. No more execuses, no more off DAYS. Just no more!!
So just looking for support and prayers to keep me going.
God bless, keep and watch over me and everyone on this journey.
