Problems

Mar 18, 2011

I have not been posting in a loooong tine. I have been dealing with my demons! My food demons. I have been having a reallly hard time emotionally! I think I cried just about everyday for the first 2 weeks and even had horrible panic attacks about food. About all the food I cant have, and that fact that I wanted food. I am now on 3 weeks post op and all my emotions have settled and my hormones have calmed but I still feel like something is wrong,I dont cry everyday anymoer ony once in a while, (which is normal for me)  I have yet to feel that full feeling. I have yet to feel satisfied when I eat. I am hungry ALLLLLL day long. And NO not with head hunger. My stomach growls and hurts like it does when your hungry. I have talked to both the office staff and my NUT and both are dumbfounded as to why I feel like this they just keep telling me maybe I need to go talk to some one and get help with my head. I am convinced IT IS NOT IN MY HEAD. I have stayed within the limits set my doc and his regimin, I know better then to stray. i dont want to hurt myself or end up back in the hospital. But I am ready to eat food. This all really sucks and I am very disapointed in the whole process right now. If I wanted to feel like this and feel like I was starving myself I would have just starved myself and not done this. I have actually thoguht about looking for doctors to reverse it. I do not want to give up on it. I want this tool to help me but if it is not gonna help me and just cause issues then why did I do this.

Also, if anyone is out there reading this please tell me is it normal to stall within the first month even when I am not eating!!! I lost 22lbs from the day of surgery until my 9 day check up, I have not lost a pound since and that was 2 weeks ago today.....is this normal. What the hell am I doing wrong? why did I do this to have it not work for me. Am I stuck like this forever??

this sucks!!

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