missmomof4
Philippians 3:12-14 I have not yet reached my goal, and I am not perfect. But Christ has taken hold of me. So I keep on running and struggling to take hold of the prize. My friends, I don’t feel that I have already arrived. But I forget what is behind, and I struggle for what is ahead. I run toward the goal, so that I can win the prize of being called to heaven. This is the prize that God offers because of what Christ Jesus has done. (GNT)
I have been overweight my entire life. There is not one day that I can remember not being the fat kid. Although in junior high and high school I was popular, outgoing, dated, etc., inside I knew I wasnt as attractive as other girls because of the extra weight I carried. I always got the " you have such a pretty face " or " you would be so pretty if you lost weight ". My parents divorced when I was very young and I was only allowed to see my father on Sunday's from 12 pm - 8 pm and some holidays. I loved my father and missed him very much, but he had issues of his own that he fought for most of his life (drugs). My mother eventually remarried and although my step-dad was nice enough, I always knew I was the outsider, in fact I felt like it had gone from my mother and I as a team, to her and him - and I was left out. I had an older half-sister (my father's daughter) who I used to live with pre-divorce, but now never got to see and I didnt understand that either. My mother and step-father eventually had a baby and I was so happy to be a big sister!
When I was in high school, I so wanted to have the quarterback bf, etc...I ended up dating a guy who was six years older then me. When I was 16, I had my daugher and when I was 17, I had my son. Shortly thereafter, me and the guy moved in together but it didnt last very long. He didnt want to be tied down and he was abusive, mostly emotional, but there were a few times that it became physical. He moved out after only a few weeks of living together and I was left on my own. I feel into a very deep depression and spent most of my days at home with two small children - and food.
It wasnt long before I gained weight and that just made me more depressed.
When I was 19, I landed a great job that I really loved, although I didnt make much money. We were evicted from our apartment and my kids and I bounced from shelter to shelter or hotel to hotel. I worked everyday, but I had zero support from my family. My mother was starting an addiction to painkillers, and since I had not lived at home in about 4 years at that point, I didnt know and I didnt understand why she would not help me. Eventually I packed my kids up and moved down south to where my older half sister lived and I began a new life there, I was able to get an apartment and my sister provided tons of support for me.
A year later, I met my future husband and we were married the following year. He had children of his own (two step daughters and one son) his ex moved away and my step-son came to live with us. Having a blended family was never easy, we were first time parents and of course new to blending! We have been married for 11 years now and have two more children together. I am a stay at home mom now. I still struggled with depression for a long time and of course, packed on more pounds. My weight has especially had me depressed but last year I lost my father to heart disease and it really shook me to my core.
So here I am.....excited to start a new life, new eating habits and begin to enjoy life again so I can grow old with my husband, someday meet my grandchildren and more immediate, be able to play with my children now!
