mhoffman

Send Message

Block

Add Friend

I can't describe how happy and yet how frustrated I am. I know...sounds confusing. I'm thrilled because I have never felt better physically. I joke that I don't even recognize the guy in my profile anymore. All the pictures at my house are of "that fat guy" and I don't remember being like that. Fact is, I was like that for far more years than I am thin.  Here's my issue.....I have really been slacking on my exercise regimen.  IT SUCKS!!!  I enjoy it when I'm doing it but finding the motivation to do it is so difficult. I'm constantly making excuses for why I don't go....I'm too tired, it's summer time, I have too much to do at home. All bullshit if you ask me!!! The bottom line is that I need to get off my ass and get to the gym.  My brain really says it would like to start running. I always want to start but am unsure how. Sounds stupid given how easy it is. I want to be one of those people you see on the street running and think....wow, I could never do that. I'm going to try and go over to the track after work today and see what I can do. Also, the gym is getting expensive. Why pay when I can run outside for FREE!! We'll see how that goes. I definitely feel better and this surgery has been such a God-send for me....I can't even put it into words. I feel so much better about myself and my self-esteem has skyrocketed. I'm also hoping that with continued, increased exercise, my weight will drop a bit. I'm holding steady at about 228-238. I'd like to drop another 30-40 lbs and see where I'm at. WISH ME LUCK!!!

New weight is down to 256. Looks great since February but I still feel like I'm stalling a little lately.  I've been trying to go to the gym rather consistently but it doesn't always work out that way. I've started a new job recently (which I love, BTW) and it has a great schedule of 7-3:30pm. You would think this would be ideal. I end up running errands after work and don't always make time for the gym. Somehow I've also been thinking that if I beef up on the outside house work that will somehow eliminate my need to go to the gym. I need to remind myself that this is NOT SO!!!  Eating has been pretty good. Still trying to get my protein in as much as possible. I've been able to eat a little more lately but still not at the "regular" meal size. Some things work better than others. Relatively speaking, I'm feeling 150% better and enjoy my new lifestyle.

Weight is now down "unofficially" to 282. I say unofficial because that's my home scale which I don't always believe is the most accurate. I think my weight loss has been steady at about 5-6 pounds per week on average. This isn't as much as I would like but it's more consistent....and probably healthier that way. I'd had to lose a big chunk and then sit at that weight for a while. I had my first appt with my PCP and he was very pleased with my results. He said that mine is some of the fastest weight loss he's seen among patients that have had this surgery. That was encouraging!!!  I'm just plugging along at this point. I tried alcohol for the first time post-op on SuperBowl Sunday. It didn't effect me negatively at all. I had about 2 12 oz. Kahlua and Milk mixed drinks with no problem. That's good! I'm trying to get more exercise in. Especially now that it has been so cold here in PA, exercise is tough to get in unless I go the gym. We'll see.....

First of all, a comment about that first "gym workout"....it did HURT!!! My arms were crazy stiff for a few days. Those puppies hadn't been worked in a long time.  Lately, I've been sticking to straight cardio work. It still feels great afterwards. I never thought I would say that before. Exercise was punishment before!! I posted on the Men's board about my weigh loss "stall". The guys were supportive in telling me to just stay the current course and things will pick up again. If I remember, the same thing happened to my mother-in-law a few years ago when she had RNY. She would freak out. I can see where she's coming from now. I wlll continue to exercise and eat properly and pray that things get jump-started. I can see a difference when I look at pre-op photos of myself so that's what counts. I've been busy with a lot of activities lately so my schedule has been keeping my mind off food. My wife and I are headed to Alaska on a cruise in May so I'm hoping to drop another 50-60 pounds by then. She is a Homestyle Specialist with At Home America....a direct selling company. They are a great company and treat her and I very well. This is our 2nd incentive trip with them. That business really helped us out when I was out of work with my surgery. Hopefully my next post talks about some additional weight loss!!!

Well, I think I have moved beyond the "What the hell did I do to myself period!!". Had surgery in Oct. and as of this morning I am down to 295. I feel the weight loss has stalled a little lately but I think I just lost a lot really early and now my body is catching up. I joined the YMCA in town and had my first workout this morning. I hoping that "jump starts" my weight loss!! My first workout was great!! I may say differently tomorrow morning while I laying there in pain!! haha! I did 20 min. on the treadmill walking at about 3.0 mph, then did 20 min on the recumbant bike and then did a circuit of 3 different upper body weights. All total it took about an hour. It certainly didn't feel like an hour. A year ago 15 minutes at the gym would have been tough. I have to be careful I don't get ahead of myself and work to hard to early. I have to realize I have NEVER exercised regularly so I have to ease into it. My fear is I'll work too hard too early and then get burned out. It feels great. I've gone from a 50 in. waist to now a tight 42!! My shirts are from a 5X to a 3X. Some 2X work but it depends on the cut. I'll post again soon!

Well,what a wild ride this has been so far. I have been having some trouble lately with vomiting. Like a lot of people on OH have said, it's not as bad as you think....nothing like pre-op puking!!! The bad part is, you just can't go back to eating after you get sick. You're pretty much done for that meal. This concerns me because my nutritional intake for the day is then thrown completely out of whack. Still learning I guess what works and what doesn't. As far as my weight, I jumped on the scale this morning and the needle hovered at 300lbs!! I was flippin' out and had to call my wife in to verify!!! That's exciting. I was recently having the "what the h*ll did I do to myself" attitude lately so seeing the scale really helped. It was just a 310 last week so I'm happy with the results so far. I really need to begin some hardcore exercise. I take the dog for a walk and I don't feel the joint pain that I used to so that's good. I just don't get enough of a workout doing that. Plus, being winter makes it tough to really work up a sweat. Losing the layer of fat insulation, I end up freezing on the entire walk.  This ride is nice. I can't wait to drop more weight!!! This is AWESOME!!!

Well, I made it and it is now 8 days after my surgery. Let me recap a little of what happened. I arrived for surgery at 5:30AM on Monday, Oct. 30. Things moved fairly quickly. My wife and I were taken to a holding room where I was instructed to strip to just a hospital gown. We waited there for a while and met with a nurse who asked every question I have already answered already and asked if I had had anything to eat (they told me not to!) and if the bowel prep worked (oh, yes...it certainly did!!). I was then wheeled into another room but before I left I could say good bye to my family. My wife was there, as was my mom and step-dad and my mother-in-law and father-in-law. Thinking back on it, my wife held it together pretty well. I thought she would start crying which would have made it harder. The anesthesiologist then took me to the holding room. She started my two IV's (painless...really!) and we talked for a couple of minutes. I really felt calm!! All the prayers were working, I could tell!! They wheeled me into the OR and got me ready for surgery. The next thing I remember, I was waking up in recovery. The best part......I was basically pain free. I had a serious sore throat which actually took about a week to go away from the breathing tube but I felt great!! (As great as you can feel after waking up from surgery!) I was in recovery for a while because they were having trouble clearing a room for me. My wife and my mom stopped in to see me in recovery. That was great! About 3:00pm, I was wheeled to the intermediate care unit where I would stay for the night to be monitored due to my sleep apnea. I didn't sleep too bad the first night except that my TV remote didn't work right. I actually sat in a chair the first night for about an hour. The next day I was moved to my regular room and also got the Foley catheter out (painless but freaky feeling) Thank God that all of Hershey Medical Center is private rooms. That makes a sucky hospital stay that much better. The food tray was not the greatest but I was on liquids for the first week. The nastiest protein jello I have ever tasted!! Just thinking about it makes me puke!! Finally, on Wednesday, I was cleared to go home. They took the drain out (Holy Crap is that a weird feeling!!) Wed. morning, as well as my IV. We were headed home!!!! I got home about 3:30pm Wednesday afternoon and proceeded to fall asleep for 3 hours!!! It was the best sleep ever! Now I'm still home,recovering, but feeling pretty good. No pain but my energy dips by the end of the day. I have a follow-up appt on 11/22 with Dr. Haluck so we will see how things are going and if I've lost any weight yet. I was at 377 at my pre-op appt and weighed myself in the hospital and it said 364! Hopefully I've dropped more by then. We'll see........

I AM APPROVED!!!!!!!!!!! YAHOO!!!!!!!!!!!!! I just got a call from Dawn Klinefelter at Hershey Medical Center and she advised me that I have been approved. Sooo, it looks like everything is good to go to have surgery on Monday, Oct.30. My last step will be to have pre-op testing on Oct. 18 and then I have to call the surgical scheduling office the Friday before my surgery to find out what time I have to report to the hospital on Monday. I posted on the Men's board that it's interesting how we've all worked so hard to get to this point and then when it gets here and it's so close you can practically touch it......you are scared to go thru with it. Just a strange thought. I'm a little nervous now..er, well, maybe not nervous but anxious. I want to snap my fingers and the surgery is done with and I can begin the road to recovery. By the way, my wife and I got a new puppy on Friday. We got her in NJ while we were there for my dad's service. Her name is Ruby and she's a German Shepherd/Aussie Shepherd mix. She's a cutie but a handful. I keep telling myself that she will be my walking motivation after surgery.

Thought I'd jump in here and post an update. I mentioned that alot has been going on with my dad and his illness. Unfortunately, he passed away from complications of liver transplant on 9/15/06. It was traumatic for our whole family. My dad and I haven't always been the closest over the years but it was still a shock to my system. You truly don't appreciate someone until they aren't around anymore. On a more positive note, I have a surgery date scheduled. I will have Lap RNY bypass on Monday, Oct. 30, 2006. That seems so definite now that I have an actual date. Lord knows everyone has been asking me about it. I met with Dr. Randy Haluck yesterday and the appt went fine. He felt I was an excellent candidate for Laproscopic surgery and didn't see any other complications to be concerned about. Now we need to submit to insurance for approval. He didn't see any cause for concern there either but that's where I tend to get leary. I said to my wife the other day that I'm just waiting for something to go wrong in this process. Everything has gone so smooth up to this point that Mr. Murphy (of Murphy's Law) would surely step in at this point and muck things up. I hope not. I have an appt for Pre-op testing on Oct. 18 so I'll drop a line again after that.
In Loving Memory of my Dad, Frederick J. Hoffman
August 7, 1950 - September 15, 2006

Ok, well I had to post again before my surgery consult to put some frustrations down on "paper". It's Student Move-In here at work so I'm in the middle of an 8-day stretch of working without a day off!! This stress is causing me to eat like CRAP!!! I get so down on myself. These are the times that I wonder how I will ever survive post-op. I'm still under my starting weight but that doesn't help me mentally. I need to get back on the band-wagon and commit to healthier eating. All I can thing about lately is my upcoming surgery. That's a positive.....I'm actually excited about it. I just want to get things rolling. I think my problem is that I'm starting to get a goal weight in mind and I wonder how attainable that really is. Looking at others who have had the surgery on this website and people I've talked with or seen, I'd like to be around 200 lbs. Sounds really strange saying that because I can't imagine myself like that right now. As a matter of fact, my wife got a jacket last night that was an extra large. She asked me to try it on! There was no way the zipper would meet on that thing and that's what makes me think that maybe my "goal" for myself is unrealistic. Ultimately, I will do the best that I possibly can given the circumstances and the tool I have been given.