Back to School Night: what did I expect?

Aug 23, 2010

Tonight was my kids' school Back to School Night.  Funny term that is cuz I always think it's supposed to be a class reunion or something (I didn't grow up in the US school system, so I only learned of it with my children starting school).  Anyway, like a class reunion, I had attached a lot of expectations to it; after all, I hadn't seen most of these people since the end of May, before I lost any weight.  Wouldn't they be sure to notice something? I mean, 38 lbs is something, right?

Well, at 247lbs, I guess it's not really enough to make a noticeable change in my appearance.  To be fair, I'm still wearing the same clothes (stretchy fabric is a wonderous thing!) and I guess my face hasn't changed too much (despite what my husband says...but he's a sweety and tries to complement me all the time :).  It is interesting: I read a post that said that normal-sized people who know you will not really notice a weight loss, but larger-sized people will.  It's true that most of the folks there were slender, so maybe that is why.  Conversely, I noticed that one of the heavier mothers there really had lost a considerable amount of weight and looked really good: I made sure to tell her she looked wonderful!  She told me "diet and exercise", mainly walking and swimming.  I agreed and smiled, but said nothing of my own situation.  I think I would rather wait until it is noticeable on me.  Who knows, she might have also done WLS, but this was not the time to discuss it.

Sigh! I guess I still have the old feelings of wanting others to tell me I look like I've lost a lot of weight, mixed with feelings of envy at having been "beaten to the punch" by someone else (even though I am also very happy for and encouraged by her).  As much as I'm mainly doing this to feel better and be healthier, both of which I already do experience, I really do want external feedback.  I have lost some inches as well as the weight, but again, it is hard to visibly appreciate at this point.

So, some days I feel very confident that this is working, and will continue to do so until I am successful, and other days (like today) I feel like nothing has really changed. I know this is just par for the course, and that I have to just keep working at it.  I just hope that the former will start outnumbering the latter soon!

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