I remember....

Apr 01, 2011

This morning I was on the shuttle van from the employee parking lot to the airport when it hit me about my weight.  I was this weight about 5 years ago when I was being tested for allergies.. I have horrible allergies and I found through testing that I'm damn near allergic to every tree, weed, grass, known to man.. Living in the NW means that my seasonal allergies are horrible.  Anyways, I was going to get shots and I had went to this Dr. , I can't think of his name....  Anyways, I remember sitting in his office and he came in to talk to me about my allergies and what  he could do for me.  He sat down at the computer across from me and as we was talking to me he was typing all my information in the computer free form.. The very first sentence said " Melissa a 29 year old female morbidly Obese">>>> That was the first time in my life I had ever seen myself associated with the word morbidly obese. I knew I was big, I knew I needed to loose weight, but morbidly obese?  I couldn't stop thinking about it.  At that point I didn't hear anything else he was saying I just kept starring at that first line.  After I he was done talking I got up and walked out, in fact I never went back.  I was mad that he had put that on there. I was embarrassed that he put it on my chart.  I went home and cried my eyes out. I joined weight watchers, then I really started obsessing about my weight. When I had only lost .16 of a lb after 3 months I gave up on weight watchers..Its funny how something like that stays with you.  I keep getting told how small, and tiny I look. But I know how much I weigh and I know that I'm only half way to goal so I still have a long road ahead.  But, I'm doing it. I'm getting there. One day at a time.

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