mandymojica
blog
Oct 17, 2006
October 11, 2006 *** Trying to get used to all the feelings
Well I've been home from the hospital exactly 24 hours and I had my surgery on the 9th around 10am. The surgery went very smoothly according to my doctor. He didn't give me much detail other than that. He checked my insisions and checked in on my at least 3 times during my hospital stay. Before the surgery I spoke to the anistisologist (sorry if it's mispelled). I told him I was concerned about comming out of the anistisia, because the last time I was put under I panicked big time. He said that if he saw that I was having problems that he would make it so I wouldn't remember. I have no Idea how he did it but he did! I have no memory of waking up. at all. All I know is that I was awake and talking to the nurse. No memory about anything at all. But Boy I was in pain and not from the surgery but from my back I have back problems and I'm sure the operating table made me very sore oh and my chest hurt like crazy from the intubation. I was standing by 5 pm but walking from about the next morning. As soon as I was able to I started doing laps around the hospital floor.
Right now tho I'm confused as to when I'm full. I constantly feel pressure by my stomach so I'm not sure when I'm full so I limit my self to two teaspoons of food. Food being (broth, sugarless apple juice, sugarless applesauce. I'm grinding my blood pressure medication and multivitamin and putting it into the applesauce.
I only have pain when I move and for some reason I'm having pain in my lower abdomen no where near where the doctor operated. anyway I wonder when I'll be able to move with out pain.
I want to thank all of you OHers for your support it has been the majority of the support that I have gotten. I'm finally a loser!
Ps. Have no Idea how much I lost no scale. If I get a scale I will obsess. But Ill take pictures every month and post.
October 4, 2006 *** Mourning my body and food
Geeze it seems as if maybe I'm more attatched to food than I thought. So is my partner. my partner has been aiding and abedding with pizza and ice cream (sugarless of course) pasta, and all sorts of food that seems that I may never be able to eat again. Today I gobbled down 3 slices of sciclean bacon pizza. I was so stuffed and sick I had to throw up. I know I'm hurting my self by eating like this but how do I say good bye to the food I may never be able to eat again. I've been also mourning my body. Knowing it will change for ever. I'm not against being a big woman. I love my curves and my warmth, But being this big is not healthy for me and that is the bottom line. I look in the mirror alot now. Who will I be in 6 months. Will I like what I see in the mirror. Will my partner recognize that which is me inside once the outside changes? Or will I change inside as well? These next 5 days seem endless, God let them pass quickly.
October 3, 2006 *** Pre-admission Testing
Nerves and more nerves I couldnt sleep last night finally noded off around 140am and woke up several times during the night . Made my way to the hospital half asleep. My wait at Robert Wood Johnson PAT was minimal maybe 5 to 8 minutes at most. I was taken into an office for a consultation with a surgical nurse. Who took some history and vital information. The whole time I was worried that any answer I gave would cancel the surgery, but all went well. We spoke about my needing a special bed due to my back problems and what could be expected in surgery and time in recovery and the process for being transferd to my room. We also went over they typical nothing to eat or drink after midnight. Then I was taken in to another room for blood test. There of all places the phlebotomist starts giving me her "advice" Yes I know she meant well but grrrrr well this is what she says, Please think about what your doing I know people who have had the surgery and have continuous problems. I'ts a dangerous surgery Blah Blah Blah. I have had to hear that from everyone around me. I've been researching this proceedure and the life after for 6 months I'm fairly educated. I have made my choice to go thru with this. It just drives me nuts to have to hear the same thing over and over. I know they mean well....I'm not ungreatful it just gets frustrating. Anyway the Blood tests they took if this helps anyone are ..... CBC, pregnancy test, blood clotting tests.
and your typical vitals. After the testing I went to see my surgeon for a my final pre-surgical consultation. I was given a true or false test as to my knowledge and expectations on the surgery and process. I got everyone right! I asked a few more questions to the doctor and he gave me my pre-surgical diet instructions and the list of Vitamins I will have to take for life. Being a liquid multi-vitamin, Iron pills, Calcium pills, and Sublingual B-12. Here is the list:
*Multi-Vitamin
Flinstones chewable (2per day)
Theragram (liquid or Tablet) (tablet if chewable)
Centrum (liquid or tablet)
Any equivalent multiple vitamin
*Calcium
Tums 500
Calcium carbonate
Calcium citrate
*Vitamine B12 (Sublingual; 500 micrograms per day)
*Iron
Fergon (ferrous gluconate, 1 per day)
feosol(ferros sulfate, 325 mg tab or 10 ml elixer per day)
Niferex (10cc elixer per day)
Well thats it for now I will try and put the whole thing out of my mind. for now.
October 1, 2006*** My first official blog entry
I have 9 more days to go before surgery and so many things are going thru my mind. I'm excited but formost I'm afraid. I'm afraid that something will go wrong to prevent the surgery, ie. losing my job..doctors finding something wrong in my pre-op tests. I'm also afraid that I won't make it out of surgery that I will have complications. I think about this surgery all the time. What will it fee like what will I look like when the weight comes off. People on this site say it's like a rebirth But right now it seems as if tho I'm dying. I'm morning my face knowing it will change. The curves of my body the swell of my breast. I look more in the mirror now then when I was hitting puberty. What will my partner see and feel as I morph into this new being? How will others see me? What if the people around me are right and something does go wrong? What will happen to me if I don't have this surgery. I love my son and I want to be a real mother not a burden anymore. God knows sooo many things rushing thru my head right now. I guess there is nothing I can do right now but just wait and pray and try to live normally for the next 9 days.
Well I've been home from the hospital exactly 24 hours and I had my surgery on the 9th around 10am. The surgery went very smoothly according to my doctor. He didn't give me much detail other than that. He checked my insisions and checked in on my at least 3 times during my hospital stay. Before the surgery I spoke to the anistisologist (sorry if it's mispelled). I told him I was concerned about comming out of the anistisia, because the last time I was put under I panicked big time. He said that if he saw that I was having problems that he would make it so I wouldn't remember. I have no Idea how he did it but he did! I have no memory of waking up. at all. All I know is that I was awake and talking to the nurse. No memory about anything at all. But Boy I was in pain and not from the surgery but from my back I have back problems and I'm sure the operating table made me very sore oh and my chest hurt like crazy from the intubation. I was standing by 5 pm but walking from about the next morning. As soon as I was able to I started doing laps around the hospital floor.
Right now tho I'm confused as to when I'm full. I constantly feel pressure by my stomach so I'm not sure when I'm full so I limit my self to two teaspoons of food. Food being (broth, sugarless apple juice, sugarless applesauce. I'm grinding my blood pressure medication and multivitamin and putting it into the applesauce.
I only have pain when I move and for some reason I'm having pain in my lower abdomen no where near where the doctor operated. anyway I wonder when I'll be able to move with out pain.
I want to thank all of you OHers for your support it has been the majority of the support that I have gotten. I'm finally a loser!
Ps. Have no Idea how much I lost no scale. If I get a scale I will obsess. But Ill take pictures every month and post.
October 4, 2006 *** Mourning my body and food
Geeze it seems as if maybe I'm more attatched to food than I thought. So is my partner. my partner has been aiding and abedding with pizza and ice cream (sugarless of course) pasta, and all sorts of food that seems that I may never be able to eat again. Today I gobbled down 3 slices of sciclean bacon pizza. I was so stuffed and sick I had to throw up. I know I'm hurting my self by eating like this but how do I say good bye to the food I may never be able to eat again. I've been also mourning my body. Knowing it will change for ever. I'm not against being a big woman. I love my curves and my warmth, But being this big is not healthy for me and that is the bottom line. I look in the mirror alot now. Who will I be in 6 months. Will I like what I see in the mirror. Will my partner recognize that which is me inside once the outside changes? Or will I change inside as well? These next 5 days seem endless, God let them pass quickly.
October 3, 2006 *** Pre-admission Testing
Nerves and more nerves I couldnt sleep last night finally noded off around 140am and woke up several times during the night . Made my way to the hospital half asleep. My wait at Robert Wood Johnson PAT was minimal maybe 5 to 8 minutes at most. I was taken into an office for a consultation with a surgical nurse. Who took some history and vital information. The whole time I was worried that any answer I gave would cancel the surgery, but all went well. We spoke about my needing a special bed due to my back problems and what could be expected in surgery and time in recovery and the process for being transferd to my room. We also went over they typical nothing to eat or drink after midnight. Then I was taken in to another room for blood test. There of all places the phlebotomist starts giving me her "advice" Yes I know she meant well but grrrrr well this is what she says, Please think about what your doing I know people who have had the surgery and have continuous problems. I'ts a dangerous surgery Blah Blah Blah. I have had to hear that from everyone around me. I've been researching this proceedure and the life after for 6 months I'm fairly educated. I have made my choice to go thru with this. It just drives me nuts to have to hear the same thing over and over. I know they mean well....I'm not ungreatful it just gets frustrating. Anyway the Blood tests they took if this helps anyone are ..... CBC, pregnancy test, blood clotting tests.
and your typical vitals. After the testing I went to see my surgeon for a my final pre-surgical consultation. I was given a true or false test as to my knowledge and expectations on the surgery and process. I got everyone right! I asked a few more questions to the doctor and he gave me my pre-surgical diet instructions and the list of Vitamins I will have to take for life. Being a liquid multi-vitamin, Iron pills, Calcium pills, and Sublingual B-12. Here is the list:
*Multi-Vitamin
Flinstones chewable (2per day)
Theragram (liquid or Tablet) (tablet if chewable)
Centrum (liquid or tablet)
Any equivalent multiple vitamin
*Calcium
Tums 500
Calcium carbonate
Calcium citrate
*Vitamine B12 (Sublingual; 500 micrograms per day)
*Iron
Fergon (ferrous gluconate, 1 per day)
feosol(ferros sulfate, 325 mg tab or 10 ml elixer per day)
Niferex (10cc elixer per day)
Well thats it for now I will try and put the whole thing out of my mind. for now.
October 1, 2006*** My first official blog entry
I have 9 more days to go before surgery and so many things are going thru my mind. I'm excited but formost I'm afraid. I'm afraid that something will go wrong to prevent the surgery, ie. losing my job..doctors finding something wrong in my pre-op tests. I'm also afraid that I won't make it out of surgery that I will have complications. I think about this surgery all the time. What will it fee like what will I look like when the weight comes off. People on this site say it's like a rebirth But right now it seems as if tho I'm dying. I'm morning my face knowing it will change. The curves of my body the swell of my breast. I look more in the mirror now then when I was hitting puberty. What will my partner see and feel as I morph into this new being? How will others see me? What if the people around me are right and something does go wrong? What will happen to me if I don't have this surgery. I love my son and I want to be a real mother not a burden anymore. God knows sooo many things rushing thru my head right now. I guess there is nothing I can do right now but just wait and pray and try to live normally for the next 9 days.
