lovinme4ever

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I am really happy with my decision. I was afraid that I would have this buyers remorse that I see so many post about. I do not have that at all. I am completely happy with almost everything. The only thing that I HATE is my open wound. It wouldn't be so bad but that it has to be changed twice a day and it is painful. My doctor purposely leaves open a "dirty wound" that has to close from the inside out. This is to prevent infection somehow. I don't really understand and don't feel that I really need to - it is what it is and I am coping well and so are my mother-in-law and mother who are changing my packings everyday. God bless these two woman!!! I love them both dearly.

I have been eating okay. I should be drinking more but today I am drinking crystal light and am finding that I am able to get in more fluids this way so I will use it.  For the first stage I was told to try to get in 40 grams of protein and now that I am stage 2 that I need to get in 60 grams of protein. Today I may make it to this goal. I am trying to avoid protein drinks as much as possible as I am sick of them but I will drink on if I need to get my numbers up. I like the carnation instant breakfast and find them rather tolerable.

I am losing weight at a steady pace and could not be happier. Right now I am 32 pounds down from my heighest weight!!!!! YA - FREAKIN' - HOO!!!!! I do know that I will have stalls along my way and I will deal with them as they come. For now I will take my .4 or .9 lbs down a day. Any loss is sweet to me. I can't wait to see what I look like next summer as we go to Disney. There should be a major change.

Looking forward to waking up from surgery tomorrow. I know that I will probably be in a considerable amount of pain and I am okay with that. I am just looking forward to the fresh start that I am about to have with my new smaller stomach. I have my bag pretty much packet and am ready to go. 

Only 8 more days to go until I will start my journey on the losers bench - a place I will gladly "sit" on although I really don't plan on doing much sitting. I am so ready to really start being active and enjoying my life and my family. I do already enjoy my life and family - please don't get me wrong - I just look forward to enjoying them more and think that I will when I am more possitive about myself.

This past week I have been on the liguid diet/liver shrinking diet. At times it gets quite hard to do and have turned to OH for support. Thank goodness for everyone here. The biggest and hardest thing about this liquid diet is that everything has this sweet taste to it except for soup and cottage cheese. All of the shake are sweet (although they would probably be gross otherwise) and pudding and yogurt and I am about at wit's end. Today I do not feel as hungry as I have been feeling. I have seen other people say that the beginning of the diet was the worst. Maybe the second half will be easier than the first half. It does help a lot that I am stepping on the Wii Fit every day and seeing that I am steadily losing weight. On this liquid diet so far (I started 6 days ago) and have lost 7 lbs. 

I bought a journal to document my journey and writing what I am eating daily and any weight changes. I have also taken some measurements but need to do a couple more but will do them today so that I can track this as well. 

I have now (since yesterday) been approved by my insurance to have gastric bypass. My surgery date it set for June 13th barring no new issues to arise. I am very excited about what is going to be the new outside appearance of me. I am perfectly content with the inside me and look forward to what is to come.

Right now I am arranging who will watch the kids, who is taking me to the hospital and who is picking me up and all that jazz. Good stuff. It wouldn't be so complicated but my husband is a full time student and his first set of summer classes start the day of surgery.  He will come to see me later.

I am considering buying some clothes but am not sure what I should do about this since I know I will be losing weight very soon. I want to buy a couple summer dresses one or two sizes smaller and hope that I fit in them. Haven't decided yet. I am a size 20 right now.

On May 30th I start my liver diet for two weeks. This should be fun :) Hopefully I won't eat one of my children during that time when I am only supposed to eat 1200 calories each day and only "liquidy" stuff. I am sure it will be fine...I just have to remember that my surgery is only a short time away. The goal is much too great to cheat - I will only be cheating myself - lol. 

At this time I have not had any type of procedure done. I am looking into finding out as much information as I can about my insurance and the different types of procedures. I think things are looking very good for me to have a procedure done. My insurance says that the obesity has to be a chronic condition that has been documented for 5 years - no problem. The insurance also states that the BMI must be 40 or higher - no problem. I still have to be tested for sleep apnea and thyroid conditions. I did have gestational diabetes with my third child and do check my sugar levels. Every once in a while they may run 109 but not very often but I know that I am at risk of developing type 2 diabetes.

As of today's appointment with my family doctor, I am 259 pounds with a BMI of 43.1. He is sending me for a thyroid ultrasound to make sure that the swelling in my neck is not a thyroid condition but my blood work says I do not have a thyroid condition. I do have high cholesterol but my doctor would like to see me try exercising before he puts me on meds since he believe and I do too that if I exercise more I will be able to avoid medications. I have a three month follow up with him for blood work to see how it goes.  My doctor is very supportive right now about me going to a seminar to find out information about gastric bypass. I told him that I am weighing my options and that I want to see which procedure is right for me. He said "good for you." It is nice to know that I really like my family doctor and that he is so supportive. I will be going to a seminar on January 11th with my husband. From this point we will see where we will go. I am hoping that if I do actually go through with any procedure that I will be able to schedule the surgery for the very beginning of summer break since I am a teacher and I think it would be most beneficial to me and my recovery. 

We will see how it goes.
 
I am 5' 5" tall 259 lbs 43.1 BMI