Linds_littleblackdress

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wow... life goes by so fast.. I can't believe it's been almost 4 years since I had VSG! so much has changed since then, got back together with my husband, we officially moved to Calgary, built a house, tried to have a baby for 2 years and have been unsuccessful due to infertility on my husband's end. I've gotten into running and have done 4 half marathons and I love working out but I find I am struggling with food and my intake. I've gained 20-22lbs from my lowest point. Its funny, when I was almost 300lbs 20 lbs never made a difference gained or lost.. but now... I feel like I'm back up to 300 even though I'm not. Perception is a funny thing!

I am really hoping to come back to OH frequently to read posts and get more support. There was a point where I didn't want to hear about anyone's success of losing weight when I started gaining some back, but now I feel like I can be inspired by everyone again, slowly trying to pull myself out of the hole I got myself into. Trying to do positive affirmations and trying to find the determined person from 4 years ago that was ready to go to hell and back to get the weight off.

lets do this!

Hey,

I know I haven't posted in a while but things have been hectic. I have finally been able to sit down and breath and have had made a few changes!
First I gained 7 lbs! yikes!! I realized I need to deal with my stress in a proper manor instead of turning to my fav bag of greasy chips.
Second, my family decided we were going to do a family vacation to Las Vegas for Canadian Thanksgiving, we planned from there I would go to Panama where I was slated to have surgery on October 15th. I was in contact with the girl from there to arrange everything, my dad was going to come with me to be my support while I was there.
Last week my mom (who really wants to be there to support me in this surgery but hates flying just can't muster up the nerves to fly to Panama) she decided to call a few clinics in LV to see what their prices were. She found Dr Umbach who's prices matched the surgery in Panama, this Dr has more experience in the VSG and has more reviews as well. This really excited my mom because now she can be there for me and it can be encorporated into the family vacation. Now I won't have to fly over 10 hours with several plane switches after surgery. It will be a 2.5 hour flight from LV to Calgary. My surgery is still slated for the same date, October 15 at 8am.

I feel more excited now that it's going to be in LV, I felt comfortable with going to Panama but really didn't know what to expect. I don't know what to expect with this Dr as well but my mind feels more at ease. Knowing my mom will be there along with my dad also makes me feel better.

I am so ready to get on with my life and feel great about myself, I know this isn't a quick fix and not expecting it but I know that once I do start dropping the pounds I will feel more confident, and I do plan on seeing a counselor out in Calgary once I am out there. In my heart I know this is the best decision for me.

16 days and counting!!

Hi all,

I know most people's first posts are all upbeat and excited because of this journey they are embarking on, but I have to admit with everything that is going on I feel a bit worn out. We just put the house up for sale, I wish I could keep it but I cannot afford it on my own. I live in Winnipeg and don't have a great job, I don't have a lot of self confidence and feel like this is the best I can do. I have been told otherwise but it's hard to convince yourself otherwise sometimes you know?

My parents live in Calgary and are trying to do everything possible to get me out there, even said they would cover a portion of the WLS if I came out there for 6 months to recover from my separation. Things with my soon to be ex are good, better than most people who are going through this. Neither of us really want to separate and we love each other a lot but I  know he has a lot of issues he needs to deal with and I deserve better than being cheated on numerous times. I have a fairly good support system, but he doesn't. He is a quiet guy who never really had many/any friends, he doesn't have any kind of support. His parents are trying to be neutral and his brother even though tells him he is still a good person won't return his calls and has kicked my ex out of his wedding party. I am basically my ex's support system, which probably sounds odd but nothing regarding this situation is 'normal'.
 
Of course during this stressful time I turn to food, something that is always there for me when I am down, I have realized that I eat my emotions. When I don't want to deal with something or don't agree with something I will binge on anything thinking that it will make me feel better but it really doesn't. My stomach and head don't see eye to eye lol. Sorry this seems so depressing, I am usually more of an upbeat person but this is really kicking my A**.  Once the house sells and I decide what I want/need to do I can start focusing on myself. I really look forward to getting back to the gym and taking my frustration out on the eliptical.  Like i said in my story, change is happening whether I like it or not, I can either embrace it or fight it all the way, but it will happen regardless. I need to learn how to loosen up and go with the flow. Anyway thanks for listening take care  -Linds