Clarissa A.

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So, I am unfortunately in the BAD, no TERRIBLE habit of weighing myself every other day. And sometimes twice in that day. Like today, I was 235 this morning and now I am 237
I know many factors will affect my weight but then my mind starts spinning and I panic.

I had a stricture repaired on Tuesday and I keep panicing that maybe they stretched me out too much and now I am gonna start gaining all the weight back and I am going to stay fat forever, I know I sound NUTS   between you and I - I even said that I wasn't going to have the follow-up Endoscopy next Tuesday because I am afraid that they are going to mess up and stretch it too much!!! 

I do have to say I feel way better now that the Stricture was repaired, I can drink my water with no pain, now I have to work on getting it all in so that this constipation goes away. Not even the Dulcolax Stool Softeners are helping! YIKES.

I cant believe that it has already been 2 weeks. I am doing ok, still struggling with getting all of my fluids but I am trying. I sip, sip, sip all day long. Since leaving the hospital, I have only puked twice  and it was awful. Gonna try to never ever do that again.
*****TMI alert***** I have only moved my bowels twice and holy moly was that awful. I wonder if that is normal?!?!?
My incisions are finally starting to heal and dry up but the itchiness is making me nuts. Neosporin helps a little bit.

Before the surgery I kept telling myself that maybe it was not going to work for me and now I am amazed how I am so full all of the time. I am loving it!!!!

My only regret is that I should have done it years ago when I first met Doctor Pohl.

Pre-op weight 278
On day of surgery 266
1 week after surgery 256 and dropping :)

The night before Surgery I ran around to 4 different stores to find a measuring tape and locked myself in my room - my fiance thinks I am insane lol

Thigh 30
Arms 15
Waist 46
Chest 46
Calf 18
Neck 15.5
Ankle, yes I measured my ankle 10
Knees 19.5 - yes those too
Wrist 8
Hips 53.5!!!!

I had my surgery on Feb 8th and it was rough! I was alone and in pain. Had a terrible reaction to the Anesthesia and Morphine but I made it!!!! I am damn proud of myself!!!!!!!!!!!!

So here I am, almost 2 weeks later and I am feeling good. Still struggling with getting all of my fluids but treaking forward and already 22 lbs down - go me, go me, go me  And I would not change a thing!!!!

I have to Thank everyone for your support thru this especially to Sheila, who has been amazing.

I apologize in advance because I will probably swear a little bit
So I didnt go to work today because I have been feeling run down and I wanted to relax the day before my surgery but did that happen? NOT!!! 
I boyfriend was off today and decided to be an ASShole! He is traveling tomorrow because of a family situation - now I have the answer to my question "If it came down to your family having an issue and me having an issue which would take priority?" The answer = his family. According to our last not so pleasant conversation, this is an elective procedure and this is my problem. Yep! IT IS!!!! I am putting me first for once and guess what asshole - I am going to do it more often especially now that I know that I am really not that important and You dont have to be there to support me when I ELECT to do something.
I wonder how much longer I will allow myself to be his OPTION while making him my PRIORITY?
Anyway, I am VERY EXCITED for tomorrow and everyday to come after that. I WILL be feel better about myself and maybe that will help me make the decisions that I have been to afraid to make.
Tomorrow will be my RE-BIRTHDAY and I could not be more excited!!!!!

Went for my Pre-Admission testing this morning; nothing major - blood work, EKG, Chest X-ray and met with the Anesthesia Nurses.
They went over all of the last minute details and that's when it hit me like a TON OF BRICKS!!!!! Holy Jesus, Mary and Joseph - I am doing this!!!!! 
I was in such a rush this morning leaving the house that I completely forgot that I was to start my Pre-Op Diet today. Thank God that I had left a few RTD shakes in the car because on a more lucid day - I said to myself "Self, you should leave some in the car for those crazy mornings"
I am not gonna lie, I am starving!!! But that is mostly becasue my Aunt Flo showed up this morning and day 1 is always tough ( I know, TMI)

I do have to say that the staff at Roger Willimas Hospital is AMAZING.
Everyone is so pleasant and open to talk. I actually had a good time being at the hospital for 2 hours this morning LOL 13 days to go but who's counting ....

Ok ... so I have to admit - the nerves are kicking in

Starting my pre-op diet next Wednesday which is also the day that I go in for the Pre-Admission Testing.

I think that I am more nervous because I have so much starting to happen simultaneously. I took my mom for Diagnostic Screening after an "iffy" Mammogram and next she is going in for an open biopsy. She goes for Pre-op testing on Tuesday afternoon and her surgey in on Friday (yes, they want this done asap).

I keep thinking to myself, what IF something is really wrong with my mom? How am I supposed to take care of her when I NEED to take care of MYSELF. I had been taking care of my mother since I was 10 yrs old, I just moved away from home 2 years ago and still I only live a few blocks away. (my mom was soooo pissed when "I left her")

I decided 2 years ago that it was time to live my life and most recently I decided that I need to take care of me! I can't let myself fall by the wayside again - its not an option
Does that make me a terrible person or just someone easy to guilt trip?

It has been a tough week for me. I don't know why I am starting to second guess my decision. I have done the research - I have read the good, the bad and the ugly about this surgery. I am INFORMED - DAMN IT!!!

Alot of people at work know and they keep asking questions, I originally told a couple of people and somehow it spread like wild fire  (guess that happens when you work with a bunch of gossip queens lol) The next question is, am I going to have Plastic Surgery afterwards - I'm like HELLO, 1 Surgery at a time please!!!!

I wake up in the middle of the night and just think and wonder, I keep asking myself what if it doesn't work for me? Like really!?!?!? I am doing all the work and will continue to do all of the work - why wouldn't it. I have a very Logical side that argues with my illogical side, so sometimes my head spins LOL  Then I wonder why I can't sleep

So, now I am 25 days away and counting. I am prepared - picked up the last of my vitamins (B12 sublingual) yesterday so that the weekend beofre my surgey all I have to do is get my "foods" and Protein shakes for when I return home from surgery.

 Let the countdown begin, 24 days to Pre-Admission testing and the start of my 2 week Surgery Prep Diet!!!!!

37 days to my RE-BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!

I can truely say New Year, New Me. I have worked hard to get to where I am today and now I am looking forward to working harder to improve.

This will be my RE-Birthday - can't wait!!!!