KnikkiJ
There was never a time when I wasn't told I was fat, which I find rather funny. I'm looking at the pictures of me as a child, and as a pre-teen and as a teen - and I may be a little curvy, but I don't see the monster that my father continually saw. I was often called "Grumpy" because I honestly didn't know how to deal with the pain and frustration and inability to communicate properly with mortals - and I acted out, and I threw things, and I was generally not very fun to be around.
Then about 7 years ago, I changed my viewpoint on life. I actually did lose about 60 pounds by going to the gym every day, and taking care of myself and only myself - and I found myself becoming exactly the person I wanted to be. To hell with everybody else!
Which, of course, led to my first boyfriend -my first engagement - my first heartbreak - my return to bad eating patterns and a dedication to taking care of somebody's else's needs rather than my own, and of course - a LOSS of 100 pounds. Well, okay - I lost 190 pounds of worthless boyfriend and gained 90 pounds of fat for the trouble, so I'm not sure that goes in the "success" category.
Now, I'm happily married to a wonderful, supportive man. I'm healthy - I'm happy (people find it funny that I still continually wear 'Grumpy' attire - THERE'S A CHANGE!) - I'm a DOTING aunt of two of the most beautiful girls on the planet. And I'm ready to begin a lifelong committment to taking care of my own needs first. It was a little frightening to see how easy it was to immerse myself into taking care of my husband - and how quickly weight started to pile on. You can call my surgery smart, you can call it selfish - you can call it anything you want. I don't really care - because this is all about me and what I think and what I want! :)
That's how it should be.
